Current Competition - ends when all prize books given away

The great paperback
Song of the Quarkbeast
Pineapple Competition

Open to: UK Hodder territories readers

For other competitions, go to my Competition Page



The UK paperback edition of 'Song of the Quarkbeast' and a pineapple

This is the all NEW paperback edition of 'The Song of the Quarkbeast' published by Hodder on the 5th August. I've been on holiday, so have only got around to devising a competition to get rid of the many copies that are now cluttering up my hallway.

I have twenty to give away, a mixture of the B format and small pocket-sized A format.

The competition is very simple to do, and the prize utterly worthless: A copy of DS-2 stamped with my 'First Signed Limited edition' stamp, and signed - to you, if you want, or to 'lucky ebay winner' or whatever you want. There are no runner-up prizes.

All you have to do is take a picture of yourself or your pet with a pineapple (if your pet is a pineapple, then just of the pineapple, I guess) and in whatever form you wish: Tinned, pizzaed, original, Michael Pena - whatever. The first twenty images received will be sent a book. Simple. (Scroll down past entrants to see the rules)

Competition closes when the last book has been despatched.

This is what we have so far, in the order in which they have come in:

Winner the first: Rachel

Here's a picture of my greyhound with a pineapple flavoured beverage. 22nd August 2012






Winner the second: Sebastian

22nd August 2012






Winner the Third: Gabriel

Pineapples may cause violence in the presence
of animals of a feline persuasion. 22nd August 2012






Winner the fourth: Carly

22nd August 2012






Winner the fifth: Jim

22nd August 2012






Winner the sixth: Laura

This is our cat Chicken (real name). As if our neighbours didn't think we were mad enough, I've just been in the garden taking pictures of Chicken with a huge pineapple in the birdcage. They didn't ask.
22nd August 2012





Winner the seventh: Veronika

as an attachment to this e-mail I send you the picture of a pineapple and our pet the noodle-cat "living" in the house of my parents.
22nd August 2012





Winner the eighth: Hermann

attached is a photo of my daughter and me with a jar of very tasty Pineapple (in German: Ananas) - Pumpkin - Apple - Ginger - jam.
22nd August 2012





Winner the ninth: Sophie

22nd August 2012





Winner the tenth: Daniel

That's my little newt loving the pineapple.
22nd August 2012





Winner the eleventh: Martin

22nd August 2012





Winner the twelth: Rowena

This is me with my daughter Isabel's cuddly pineapple, which she has had for most of her young life. He is called... Pineapple. Amazing, yes?
22nd August 2012





Winner the thirteenth: Augie

23rdAugust 2012





Winner the fourteenth: Paul

"Pie 'n' Apple" by Paul Johnson aged 34 1/12
23rdAugust 2012





Winner the fifteenth: Sue and D2

Here is a pic of my pet D2 with said fruit and alternative pineapple for those that have a bit of a phobia for the original.
23rdAugust 2012





Winner the sixteenth: Brian

A strange merging?
23rdAugust 2012 (This is totally so my favourite!!)





Winner the seventeenth: Edurne

Here is a picture of my favourite cushion trying to reach for his favourite yoghurt.
Hope you like it! - 23rdAugust 2012





Winner the eighteenth: Melanie and Sam

Attached is a photo of me and my pet Sam - Sam has a pineapple (admittedly a photo but a pineapple nonetheless) and me with some juice! I've recently introduced Sam to the wacky world of Jasper Fforde and he has begun his journey into the bookworld with the Thursday Next series. - 23rdAugust 2012





Winner the nineteenth: Regina and Steffen

Here's a picture of our precious pets, especially Godzilla always likes a slice of pineapple - but I guess you know, Pickwick is after them, too. :-)
23rdAugust 2012





Winner the twentieth: Amy

The pineapple eating spaniel is Bella
(Proving - if proof be needed - that spaniels will eat almost anything!)
23rd August 2012





Winner the twenty-first: Kelvin

Ok, I know it's too late but I had to - sorry it's abstract! 23rd August 2012





Winner the twenty-second: Susanna

I'd love to win one of your books! Here my pineapple contribution. We are just back from a 3000km bicycle trip through France, and my little son always demanded pineapple juice (which he never wants at home, and is anyway hard to get here in Amsterdam). Had a package left...

25th August 2012





And the final winner, the twenty-third: Jo

Not a photo, but a british sign language "description"...

27th August 2012

More about the Dragonslayer series can be found here Dragonslayer Website.

These Are The Rules

Prize is a Hodder Paperback copy of Song of the Quarkbeast and signed and numbered - to you, if you want. There are no runner-up prizes unless I decide there are.

IMPORTANT: Applicants are personally responsible for any damage to themselves, others or property while handling the potentially dangerous fruit known as the pineapple. It has sharp edges and a rough exterior, and can cause damage if dropped on your foot or a small child. YOU are a responsible person, and it is up to YOU to decide whether you can safely undertake this dangerous venture without any problems. Remember that pineapple theft is not a victimless crime, and is treated seriously by law enforcement agents everywhere.

Pictures must be sent to jasper(at)jasperfforde.com and MUST have the subject line 'pineapple' . Don't forget to send me your address or an address where the book can find its way to you in case you have won. All entries JPEGS, please, and about 1000 pixels at their widest point.

No photoshop nonsense because you can't be arsed to find a pineapple, although photoshop entries will be accepted if they are amusing.

Any obvious repetitions will be weeded out at the judge's descretion - we want to have a good range of Quarky Pineapple nonsense.

Your picture may be selected to be viewed on my website, twitter or instagram feeds, and it is a condition of entry that you are happy for this to be done.

Competition is open to everyone in Hodder (UK) territories.

No emails will be harvested by me or my publishers.

This competition is run by me, and is not a Hodder promotion.

Winners will be announced as soon as I have some.

The competition organiser reserves the right to bend or change the rules however I see fit if I think it will make the competition better or more fun.

... and add or ammend rules after the competition has begun. Like now.

Or now.

Judges (me) decision is final.