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Dragonslayer Book cover
Jennifer Strange, on her first and last encounter with Brian Spalding
(Artist's impression)

There are many people in the Last Dragonslayer books, some of whom are listed below. I add to this list ocassionally, and often return solely to have another go at spelling 'ocasionnally', which despite numerous attempts, still evades me.

You can read the list in the way that Caxton intended, or short cut your way in the Tim Berners-Lee fashion:

Jennifer Strange
The Mighty Shandar
King Snodd IV
The King's Useless Brother
William of Anorak
Full and Half Price
Mother Zenobia
Prince Nasil
The Remarkable Kevin Zipp
Brian Spalding
Brecon, Duke of.
The Wizard Moobin
Lady Mawgon
Sir Matt Grifflon
Tiger Prawns
Gordon van Gordon Gordonson ap Gordon-Gordon the IV
The Great Zambini
The Once Magnificent Boo
The Amazing Blix
Samantha Flynt
Dame Corby 'She who the ants obey'
The Truly Bizarre Tchango Muttney
Perkins Perkins
Gertrude Crustburger, Monty Vanguard, Roger Limpet, Loomis Fairweather
The Mysterious X
Lucy Mandrake
Sister Yolanda of Kilpeck
Patrick of Ludlow

Who's Who 1: Jennifer Strange           Return to List

Fifteen in two weeks at the time of the Dragonslayer adventure, Jennifer is a foundling who was left in the glovebox of her 1958 Volkswagen Beetle outside the Blessed Lady of the Lobster. She was subsequently sold into indentured servitude to Kazam, the House of Enchantment where she quickly became an indispensable assistant to The Great Zambini, taking over entirely from him when he vanished.

Fearless, mature (she passed her driving test at thirteen) she is the employment agent for the five sorcerers still on the active list at Kazam. Blessed with an unwavering sense of right and wrong, it is she who guided the Big Magic to its conclusion, and learned a thing or two about Dragons on the way.

Outlawed by King Snodd on grounds of treason and tax evasion, threatened with death by his agents and now sponsored by Fizzi- pop-cola, Jennifer remains one of the most controversial figures in the Kingdom.

Current whereabouts: Resident at Zambini Towers.

Who's Who 2: The Mighty Shandar          Return to List

Most powerful sorcerer the world has ever known. He was a Super Grand Master Sorcerer, the highest grade. Legend has it that his footprints caught fire as he walked.

Still active on occasion, but seen less and less in recent years. He is most remembered for the Dragonpact; the brokering of peace between the Dragons and the Inhabitants of the unUnited Kingdoms, and was also responsible for conjuring up the Quarkbeast, which won 'Best Enchanted Beast' for 1623, and is still listed New Sorcerer magazine as 'one of the ten greatest feats of magic'.

The Mighty Shandar was paid twenty dray-weights of gold for his brokering of the peace deal, credit of which goes to his agent - Emilio D'argento. The D'argento family continue to be his agents today, fourteen generations later.

Current whereabouts: Thought to be living in Crete.

Who's Who 3: King Snodd IV          Return to List

Ruling monarch of the Kingdom of Snodd, a medium-sized kingdom centred around Hereford in the Welsh marches, he was the ruler at the time of the adventure known as The Last Dragonslayer. A generally fair King who rarely if ever puts anyone to death without good reason and has promised to give up torture 'some time soon', he remains militaristic and gains most of his income from SNODD HEAVY INDUSTRIES chief product, the heavily armoured Landship, designed chiefly to frighten civilians and attack Trolls.

King Snodd is married to Queen Mimosa (The beautiful, witty and wise) who as Mimosa Jones was once a mid-ranking sorcerer. The royal children are: His Royal Petulantness the Crown Prince Steve who is twelve (as at 2007), and Her Royal Odiousness Princess Shazza, who is fifteen. The King has one brother who is first in line to the throne. It is generally agreed that he is pretty useless, and is known as such.

Who's Who 4: The King's Useless Brother          Return to List

Although his actual name is 'His Eminence Ruprecht Sawduzt Snodd', he is known to everyone simply as 'The Useless Brother', an epithet that he is at pains to reinforce almost every time he draws breath.

Holding several positions of authority to which he performs in a flagrantly useless manner, he is most noted as the Minister for Infernal Affairs, the bureaucrat designated as Magic Liaison between representatives of the Houses of Enchantment and the Kingdom. All paperwork has to be submitted to his office, and he also oversees the granting of new Magic licences.

Current whereabouts: Resident in the castle, in a room with as few hard objects as possible.

Who's Who 5: William of Anorak          Return to List

Once a foundling of the Blessed Lady of the Lobster, William has an encyclopaedic mind that can hold millions of useless facts. Good in trivia competitions and when one needs information, but otherwise almost entirely useless.

Wears a duffle coat so worn that only the buttons remain, and most of them are missing.

Current whereabouts: Lives out of doors in Hereford. Can usually be found at the Railway Station.

Who's Who 6: Maltcassion          Return to List

The Last Dragon, resident of the Maltcassion Dragonlands, a three hundred and twenty-two square mile region of unspoilt countryside, guarded by marker stones that vaporise anyone but a Dragonslayer and their apprentice.

Over six hundred years old, he alone carries with him the secret of the Big Magic and how it might work. Able to see far into the electromagnetic spectrum in both directions, he can also see a partial future. Likes gold, jewels, mutton. Speaks eight languages, and is considered the world's expert on the Floon Beetle.

Current whereabouts: Everywhere ... and nowhere.

Who's Who 6a: Full and Half Price          Return to List

Dennis (Accolade Amazing) and David (accolade Astonishing) Price are identical brothers, but unique in that they are the most unidentical identical twins on record. David was tall and thin and lofty and oft to sway in a high wind, while Dennis was short and squat like a giant pink pumpkin, only with arms and legs.

They both hailed from the ramshackle collection of warlord-controlled regions in Mid-Wales that were loosely referred to as 'The Cambrian Empire'. Details were sparse, but it seems the Prices had refused to work with the well-named Cambrian Potentate 'Tharv the Insane', and then made their way to the Kingdom of Hereford to escape. They joined up with The Great Zambini soon after, and had been at Kazam for over twenty years (in 2007).

Of pretty much equal power, they are the solid bread-and-butter sorcerers. Nor overly flowery, just know how to get a job done.

Current whereabouts: Both resident at Zambini Towers, Hereford.

Who's Who 7: Mother Zenobia          Return to List

Mother superior at the Blessed Lady of the Lobster. Friend and mentor to Jennifer Strange, she was once a sorceress herself, and spends her time instructing the foundlings in her care to be upright, worthy, and profitable members of society. The very best of her charges she sends to Kazam for further education.

She has been blind for over seventy years and is over one hundred and twenty years old, although no-one knows why. She can 'see' through a form of 'Crabbiness Localised Field Detection' system, which might explain why she is often a bit sharp when out on walks.

Current whereabouts: The Blessed Lady of the Lobster Home for Foundlings, Clifford.

Who's Who 7a: Prince Nasil          Return to List

His Royal Highness Prince Omar Smith Arkwright Ben Nasil is one of Kazam two carpeteers. Second in line to the small Duchy of Portland, the Prince neither needs to work nor live in Hereford. But having served in the Portland Light Carpet until the Carpets were all retired, he felt that he wanted to carry on the profession, and did so, utilising a carpet that had been kept back as an instructional airframe, and so had a few hundred hours left on it.

The only other carpeteer at Kazam is Owen of Rhayder.

Current whereabouts:Resident at Zambini Towers, Hereford.

Who's Who 8: The Remarkable Kevin Zipp          Return to List

One of two pre-cogs on the books at Kazam, Kevin's pronouncements are shaky, but right often enough to be taken notice of. The other Pre-cog is Randolph, 14th Earl of Pembridge, or EP-14. More of an industrial soothsayer, he earns a living predicting failure rates on industrial welding. A pre-cog can see a version of the future, not the future itself. And in anything regarding themselves, they are completely useless.

Kevin's correct vision strike rate is at 70%, which is enough to give him the accolade 'Remarkable, just short of 76%, and the 'Exceptional' rating. Those whose visions approach 90% correctness achieve the highest accolade of all: 'Blistering'.

Current whereabouts: Resident on the sofa at Zambini Towers.

Who's Who 9: Brian Spalding          Return to List

The Last-but-one Dragonslayer. Now over one hundred and fifty years old, Big Magic has kept the ravages of time from his body. He lives only to pass on the wisdom of Dragonslaying to the next in his proud calling. Like Jennifer, he once owned a Quarkbeast.

Current whereabouts: No longer living

Who's Who 10: Brecon, Duke of.          Return to List

Commands over the smaller, weaker and almost bankrupt duchy on the Welsh side of the dragonlands, the Duke of Brecon is peaceable and well-loved among his subjects, who will gladly die for him, and often do, much to his dismay.

Current whereabouts: Brecon Castle, Duchy of Brecon.

Who's Who 11: The Wizard Moobin          Return to List

One of the five active wizards at Kazam, Moobin is not the most powerful, but certainly the most consistent. Fond of practical jokes and fruitcake, and for a wizard, hardly mad at all.

Has made strong inroads into teleportation, and turning lead into gold.

Current whereabouts: Resident at Zambini Towers, Hereford.

Who's Who 12: Lady Mawgon          Return to List

Once dubbed 'Master Sorceress The Lady Mawgon, She-Who-The-Winds-Obey' but now simply 'Lady Mawgon' after the gradual loss of her powers, Mawgon is perhaps the most powerful and most grumpy of all the wizards at Zambini Towers.

A sticker for proper protocol and fiercely defensive of her calling, she regards everyone with gloomy disdain - especially foundlings, whom she hates. Dresses in jet-black clothes when relaxing and even blacker ones when working, she takes her calling the most seriously.

No known hobbies, nor friends. Married once, but refuses to talk about it. Has a son name Pete who is a florist. They don't talk.

Current whereabouts: Resident at Zambini Towers, Hereford.

Who's Who 13: Sir Matt Grifflon.          Return to List

Lantern-jawed knight, much favoured by King Snodd, and also a successful musician, whose single, 'A horse, a Sword, and me' recently topped the hit parade. Dazzlingly handsome and the Kingdom's most eligible bachelor, Sir Matt crosses swords with Jennifer more than once.

Current whereabouts: Resident at the King's Castle at Snodd Hill

Who's Who 14: Tiger Prawns.          Return to List

While Jennifer was the sixth foundling to be sold to Kazam until she was twenty, Tiger was the seventh. An intelligent youth, his adherence to duty and support of Jennifer are absolute, even if he finds Kazam a bewildering place to live, and the Sorcerers highly odd.

Current whereabouts: Resident at Zambini Towers, Hereford.

Who's Who 15: Gordon van Gordon Gordonson ap Gordon-Gordon the IV.           Return to List

More commonly known as 'Gordon' to save time, he is The Last Dragonslayer's Last Apprentice. A good cook, he assists Jennifer in the difficult art of Dragonslaying.

Current whereabouts: Unknown

Who's Who 16: The Great Zambini          Return to List

Founder of Kazam, Jennifer's mentor and holder of the world teleport record of eighty-five miles, conducted in 1942, before magical power started to fade.

Bought the ailing Majestic Hotel in 1963 and turned it into Zambini Towers as a home for retired or invalid sorcerers. Credited with helping the ailing magic industry find new work in the home-improvement market, and ensured that the noble arts did not vanish altogether. Currently missing.

Current whereabouts: Unknown

Who's Who 17: The Once Magnificent Boo          Return to List

Miss Boolean Champernowne Waseed Mitford Smith was an infant magic prodigy. At the age of five she was writing her own spells, was deemed 'Amazing' by her tenth birthday, 'Incredible' by her fifteenth, and 'Magnificent' by the time she turned twenty.

Her theory on 'Spell entanglement' for multitasking was one of her most brilliant contributions, allowing for several enchantments to be done at the same time, a problem unsolved since the twelfth century. In short, she was doing stuff in her teens that The Mighty Shandar couldn't perform until he was in his thirties, and she was tipped to become the Next Great Thing - a sorcerer of astonishing powers of the sort that only crop up every half millennia or so, and change the craft in new and exciting ways.

She never fulfilled that early promise, and not through her own fault. She was kidnapped in 1974 by anti-magic extremists and hadn't done any magic since her release, and rarely socialised with those that do. But she hadn't totally forgotten her roots, and by way of the respect accorded to her, still carried the 'Once Magnificent' accolade.

She won an unprecedented six golds in the Sorcery events at the 1974 Olympics, a feat never equalled. Currently official Beastmaster to the Kingdom, she also adjudicates at Magic Licence applications.

Current whereabouts: Yarsop, Kingdom of Snodd.

Who's Who 18: The Amazing Blix          Return to List

The Amazing Conrad Blix is the Head Wizard over at Kazam's competition of Industrial Magic (now known as iMagic) Blix is the grandson of the infamous 'Blix The Hideously Barbarous', but Blix claims that the 'whole world domination thing' is all in the past. He and Jennifer and Zambini rarely agree as they do not agree over the direction of the Mystical Arts. Zambini sees it as a tool for social justice and good in general, but Blix regards it more as a way to make cash, and lots of it.

Not to be trusted

Current whereabouts: Resident in the Kingdom of Snodd.

Who's Who 18: Samantha Flynt          Return to List

Trainee sorcerer at iMagic, she is very pretty, but not that smart. Has failed her basic magic test a record eight times. The Minister of Infernal Affairs is a big fan, and has waived the 'Three fails and you're out' rule, but NOT, as he insists, because she is so pretty. He has also proposed marriage six times, to which Samantha has steadfastly refuse, leading speculators to suggest she is not as daft as she seems.

Likes to be known as 'Smantha'

Current whereabouts: Resident in the Kingdom of Snodd

Who's Who 19: Dame Corby 'She who the ants obey'          Return to List

Resident wizard at iMagic, and quite powerful. Heiress to the Corby Trouser Press Empire, dividends of which are thought to shore up iMagic's dodgy finances.

Current whereabouts: Resident in the Kingdom of Snodd

Who's Who20: The Truly Bizarre Tchango Muttney          Return to List

Resident wizard at iMagic, but not as powerful as Dame Corby. A weasely-looking character, he was fired from Kazam in the seventies for theft. Blix instantly employed him, and he has been at iMagic ever since.

Current whereabouts: Resident in the Kingdom of Snodd

Who's Who 21: Perkins Perkins          Return to List

Newest arrival at Kazam, and although the weakest and without experience, is soon an accomplished wizard. Has asked Jennifer out on a date on numerous occasions. His qualifying 'Great Feat' during his licence application was to make Dogs bark spookily at a distance, which is a lot harder than one thinks.

Current whereabouts: Resident in the Kingdom of Snodd

Who's Who22,23,24,25: Gertrude Crustburger, Monty Vanguard, Roger Limpet, Loomis Fairweather.           Return to List

Retired Sorcerers living at Zambini Towers. Gertrude was once a weathermonger, Monty is an expert on RUNIX spell language, Roger won silver at the 1974 Olympics in the Levitation event, and Loomis can separate gasses.

Current whereabouts: Resident in the Kingdom of Snodd

Who's Who 26: The Mysterious X          Return to List

Less of a who and more of a what with borderline disgusting personal habits, X's state of nebulous semi-existence have many questioning whether he actually exists at all. Usually present as a field of charged particles, he travels outside Zambini Towers in an inflated bin-liner, as even a gentle breeze can have a disturbing effect.

Current whereabouts: Resident in the Kingdom of Snodd (Allegedly)

Who's Who 27: Lucy Mandrake (1642-1734)          Return to List

Lucy 'The Honourable' Mandrake was one of the 'Four greats' and it is due to her work on MSEPs or 'Mandrake Sentience Emulation Protocols' that magicians are able to make something appear to be alive. Up until this point, wizards could only create inanimate objects.

Mandrake's unveiling of her ground-breaking Protocols at the 1732 World Magic Expo was with a demonstration of a shower of toads, each one of them apparently alive, but not. The 'Shower of Toads' spell is still regarded as a watershed of wizidrical knowledge and understanding - and despite its utter pointlessness, often copied.

Current whereabouts: Deceased

Who's Who 28: Sister Yolanda of Kilpeck (1928-1995)          Return to List

Noted Pre-cognitive. Sister Yolanda's strike rate was the best ever at an astonishing 92%. But then she only made two hundred and twenty-five in her sixty-seven years, which might have explained it. Most Pre-cogs spew them out by the dozen, daily.

Current whereabouts: Deceased

Who's Who 29: Patrick of Ludlow          Return to List

Patrick of Ludlow is Kazam's 'Heavy Lifter'. His speciality is moving objects, used mostly for removing illegally parked cars for the city's clamping unit.

He can levitate up to seven tons when humidity was low and he was feeling good, which is more often these days as his 6 oz-a-day Marzipan habit was now well behind him. He was a simple soul, but kindly and gentle despite his large size and misshapen appearance.

Like most Heavy Lifters he had muscles where he shouldn't - grouped around his ankles, wrists, toes, fingers and the back of his head. His hand looked like a boiled ham with fingertips stuck on randomly, and the muscles on the back of his head gave him a fearful appearance. He generally stayed hidden when not working in case he was mistaken for an infant Troll.

Current whereabouts: Resident at Zambini Towers, Hereford.

Page updated November 18th 2011