Your questions answered. If you have a question that you think is important or relevant, send me an email. jasper(at)jasperfforde.com

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Dear Mr. Fforde,

I'm writing to apologize. I'm a little past the middle of your book, The Eyre Affair. I'm enjoying it very much - It's not only an excellent book in its own merits, but the first book successfully recommended to me by my mother. (She seems to think, though I'm not certain why, that we have similar tastes.) The apology, specifically, regards what happened to your book earlier this evening.

I'm afraid, and I don't think there's an easy way to say this, but I accidentally caused your book to be hit by a car. I believe what happened was it fell out of my car as I was leaving my house, and remained just to the side of the street until I returned home a few hours later. It had been hit at least once, and, while still intact, is quite damaged.

I want to clarify at this point that I don't by any means feel that your book deserved this fate. I've read books which, perhaps, deserved to be run over. As far as I've read up to this point yours certainly is not among them.

I'll be buying a new copy of the book in the morning (to spare myself the frustration of trying to read while harassed by guilt), and I hope you accept my deepest apology.

Sincerely,

Tom Shamma

P.S. I apologize also if you addressed this particular topic in your website's FAQ, which I didn't read for fear of spoilers.



Dear Mr Shamma,

Thank you very much for your email and I am indeed sorry that your book suffered a mishap.

I have had many similar emails about various 'incidents' befalling my books, including several drownings, an electrocution, a highly regrettable misadventure with a steam-roller and on one occasion, an attempted suicide (although this was, I believe, unproved).

Car-related damage is relatively uncommon, and sits on the list between dry-rot and being eaten by bears, but I am led to believe that despite many sensationalised newspaper stories to the contrary, the trauma suffered by books in a high 'G' manoeuvre (such as a car accident) does, not, in fact, 'scramble the words' and further, my books have been tested at great length - a copy of 'The Eyre Affair', picked at random, was decelerated from 720 MPH to a dead stop in under .7 of a second, and only lost three full-stops and an apostrophe as a result.

In respect of this, I think it quite safe for your 'damaged' book to be read safely, as long as precautions are taken, such as making sure you are sitting down, have put the cat out, and are wearing your lucky homburg.

I hope this helps.

With all best wishes

Jasper Fforde

Letter received 2nd June 2009