Re: Leigh Delamere
Posted by: Jasper (---.no-dns-yet.ntli.net)
Date: February 04, 2002 03:46PM
<HTML> First you must know that until quite recently, motorway (freeway) service stations were pretty appalling and were best avoided unless you had one of the following: A/ An empty fuel tank; B/ A full bladder; C/ An aversion to good food; or D/ Wanted to buy stolen property and/or drugs. They sound sort of grand if you screw up your ears and whistle 'Land of Hope and Glory' : Leigh Delamare, Aust, Gordano, Michaelwood, Chievely, Fleet, etc.
The thing is, because motorways cut swathes through the countryside where entire counties can be reduced to nothing more than a tedious stretch of asphalt where a passing bridge becomes a point of great interest and fevered discussion, the obscure villages that the services are named after have no reality to the motorist other than as the names of services - and are also extremely familiar to any Brit brought up on dull car journeys to duller relatives. Fathers, who tended in my youth to wear hats and do most of the driving, often had this sort of conversation with their children:
'Dad,' we used to say, 'when are we going to eat/wee/stop/?'
'At Gordano, son. I know Aust is closer but Gran was poisoned by the sausages last year and we didn't stop at Leigh Delamare because the petrol was way too pricey at 38p a gallon and I wasn't going to buy four-star when I know we can run on two-star and besides your mother's asleep and I didn't want to wake her.'
You get the picture. So, the question one asks -or at least I asked - is why are these service stations named as they are? For all those millions of Britons who stopped at Leigh Delemere or Vernham Deane or any of the others, there was no explanation - until now. Leigh Delemere was named that way because in 1985 one of Hades' dopey henchmen thought it would be the height of class for his mother to be named after one. - Jasper Fforde</HTML>