ThursdayNext : www.jasperfforde.com
A discussion of all things Thursday !
Web published gems...
Posted by: poetscientistdrinker (---.cache.pol.co.uk)
Date: November 07, 2002 11:46PM
<HTML>It has come to my attention that the staggeringly bad dialogue of some best sellers is nothing compared to the treats of the web. Hence I hereby declare a competition to find the <b>worst piece of literature on the web</b>.
And here's a smaple of the best bit I've found so far: leaden, pointless and a waste of otherwise perfectly good electrons. Click here
<a href="http://kindredspiritlodge.tripod.com/Bards/Amber/16.html ">for more of the same</a>
"We came here to look for our companions, you have found yours in this bedraggled state she is in and yet you dare to ask me for a further explanation of my life and time in the cottage and forest. What about my Raven? She sent your Ocelot on a merry chase to deter her from us. This would never have happened if you had not commanded her to do so. I am now wondering where my Raven is and if she is hurt somewhere?"</HTML>
And here's a smaple of the best bit I've found so far: leaden, pointless and a waste of otherwise perfectly good electrons. Click here
<a href="http://kindredspiritlodge.tripod.com/Bards/Amber/16.html ">for more of the same</a>
"We came here to look for our companions, you have found yours in this bedraggled state she is in and yet you dare to ask me for a further explanation of my life and time in the cottage and forest. What about my Raven? She sent your Ocelot on a merry chase to deter her from us. This would never have happened if you had not commanded her to do so. I am now wondering where my Raven is and if she is hurt somewhere?"</HTML>
Re: Web published gems...
Posted by: poetscientistdrinker (---.cache.pol.co.uk)
Date: November 07, 2002 11:53PM
<HTML>Oh, yeah. Anybody mentioning any of the stuff that's been posted on the Fforum by me will be shot, without trial....
<i> Please note: due to</i><b> Goliath</b><i> economy drives, a realistic bullet replacement may be substituted. If a replacement is used the victim should shout 'ow' immediately after hearing the command word 'BANG!' Actual death may not be forthcoming.</i><b> Goliath</b><i> apologise for any embarrassment to firing squads this may cause, and thank you for your co-operation.</i></HTML>
<i> Please note: due to</i><b> Goliath</b><i> economy drives, a realistic bullet replacement may be substituted. If a replacement is used the victim should shout 'ow' immediately after hearing the command word 'BANG!' Actual death may not be forthcoming.</i><b> Goliath</b><i> apologise for any embarrassment to firing squads this may cause, and thank you for your co-operation.</i></HTML>
Re: Web published gems...
Posted by: ScarletBea (---.be.jnj.com)
Date: November 08, 2002 08:07AM
<HTML>:D</HTML>
Re: Web published gems...
Posted by: Ooktavia (---.nv.iinet.net.au)
Date: November 08, 2002 11:49AM
<HTML>OW!
sorry, got ahead of myself there.........</HTML>
sorry, got ahead of myself there.........</HTML>
Re: Web published gems...
Posted by: jon (---.abel.net.uk)
Date: November 08, 2002 04:27PM
<HTML>What I want to know is, how did you find that outstanding piece of dreck? Did you type 'bad Philip Pulman imitations' into Google or what?
Anyway, you want bad literature on the net, go to www.fanfiction.net and wade through some of that. (Although I did find a good one there - nigel molesworth goes to hogwarts, see also www.alice.dryden.co.uk/ho_for_hoggwarts.htm).
anybode who do not kno who nigel molesworth is has 0 branes, is a wet and a weed, and hav a face like a squished tomatoe.</HTML>
Anyway, you want bad literature on the net, go to www.fanfiction.net and wade through some of that. (Although I did find a good one there - nigel molesworth goes to hogwarts, see also www.alice.dryden.co.uk/ho_for_hoggwarts.htm).
anybode who do not kno who nigel molesworth is has 0 branes, is a wet and a weed, and hav a face like a squished tomatoe.</HTML>
Re: Web published gems...
Posted by: ScarletBea (---.be.jnj.com)
Date: November 08, 2002 04:49PM
<HTML>*refrains from sharing the fact that she has no idea of who nigel molesworth is*
I know what Hogwarts is, though :D</HTML>
I know what Hogwarts is, though :D</HTML>
Re: Web published gems...
Posted by: poetscientistdrinker (---.cache.pol.co.uk)
Date: November 08, 2002 06:23PM
<HTML>Er, I was putting random words picked from a dictionary into Google, just to see what oddities turned up. And odd it was...
I also found a 'deer rump mounting video' - and declined to investigate further...</HTML>
I also found a 'deer rump mounting video' - and declined to investigate further...</HTML>
Re: Web published gems...
Posted by: polly (---.cache.pol.co.uk)
Date: November 08, 2002 07:19PM
<HTML>Yikes! Where are the grammarsites when you need 'em? OTOH, the poor wee beasties might get terminal food poisoning eating words like that. And do they work in web-based word formation? (I refuse to call that "writing")
Ben, Ben, get on with your PhD and stop searching out such unadulterated crap <g>. Good luck with it, BTW. I've found mine useful for 2 things - a) the book itself makes a useful doorstop and b) when you put "Dr" on your driving licence, if you get stopped by the police they tend not to hassle you! (It was only a spot check, guv, I wasn't speeding)</HTML>
Ben, Ben, get on with your PhD and stop searching out such unadulterated crap <g>. Good luck with it, BTW. I've found mine useful for 2 things - a) the book itself makes a useful doorstop and b) when you put "Dr" on your driving licence, if you get stopped by the police they tend not to hassle you! (It was only a spot check, guv, I wasn't speeding)</HTML>
Re: Web published gems...
Posted by: Anne (---.dc1-cache2.syd.dav.net.au)
Date: November 11, 2002 01:15AM
<HTML>Oooh! Do you have enough experience of this already!!</HTML>
Re: Web published gems...
Posted by: Anne (---.dc1-cache2.syd.dav.net.au)
Date: November 11, 2002 01:24AM
<HTML>OOOPS!!! Again!!!!!! I'm such a bottle brunette!!!!!! My last post was regarding the video in case anybody is thinking "What the...!"</HTML>
Re: Web published gems...
Posted by: poetscientistdrinker (---.cache.pol.co.uk)
Date: November 11, 2002 08:42PM
<HTML>I would get on with my PhD if it wasn't for the fact that Reading doesn't work...
The trains are always late or not running (I think they failed to wind the clockwork up); the bus broke down and the bloody university keep forgetting that I'm supposed to be there.
And as for the driving licence - a small motivation was the prompt attentions of the AA or RAC...
And upgrades on planes - and I'd love there to be a medical emergency...
"Is it treatable, Doctor?"
"Well, if he was a fragmented Amozonian rainforest I might be able to do something... He doesn't look terribly healthy though..."</HTML>
The trains are always late or not running (I think they failed to wind the clockwork up); the bus broke down and the bloody university keep forgetting that I'm supposed to be there.
And as for the driving licence - a small motivation was the prompt attentions of the AA or RAC...
And upgrades on planes - and I'd love there to be a medical emergency...
"Is it treatable, Doctor?"
"Well, if he was a fragmented Amozonian rainforest I might be able to do something... He doesn't look terribly healthy though..."</HTML>
Re: Web published gems...
Posted by: polly (---.cache.pol.co.uk)
Date: November 11, 2002 10:07PM
<HTML>LOL! It's not much use for upgrades - or at least never has been for me. Fortunately I've never been asked to perform an emergency tracheotomy - as I'm not that kind of doctor either, despite my PhD being in Medicine!
It does help sometimes with getting the gas board to give you a morning or afternoon appointment rather than expecting you to stay in all day, then waiting until you go out for 30 seconds, at which point they run up to your front door with the card saying "We called but you were out". (They must work for Goliath).
Good luck with the trains - it never happened in the Rev W D Audrey's days!</HTML>
It does help sometimes with getting the gas board to give you a morning or afternoon appointment rather than expecting you to stay in all day, then waiting until you go out for 30 seconds, at which point they run up to your front door with the card saying "We called but you were out". (They must work for Goliath).
Good luck with the trains - it never happened in the Rev W D Audrey's days!</HTML>
Re: Web published gems...
Posted by: polly (---.cache.pol.co.uk)
Date: November 11, 2002 10:07PM
<HTML>LOL! It's not much use for upgrades - or at least never has been for me. Fortunately I've never been asked to perform an emergency tracheotomy - as I'm not that kind of doctor either, despite my PhD being in Medicine!
It does help sometimes with getting the gas board to give you a morning or afternoon appointment rather than expecting you to stay in all day, then waiting until you go out for 30 seconds, at which point they run up to your front door with the card saying "We called but you were out". (They must work for Goliath).
Good luck with the trains - it never happened in the Rev W D Audrey's days!</HTML>
It does help sometimes with getting the gas board to give you a morning or afternoon appointment rather than expecting you to stay in all day, then waiting until you go out for 30 seconds, at which point they run up to your front door with the card saying "We called but you were out". (They must work for Goliath).
Good luck with the trains - it never happened in the Rev W D Audrey's days!</HTML>
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