ThursdayNext : www.jasperfforde.com
A discussion of all things Thursday !
For Our Australian Readers
Posted by: jon (---.abel.net.uk)
Date: November 11, 2002 03:06PM
<HTML>JURISFICTION: AUSTRALIAN CHAPTER: MEETING 1,274
OK, g’day all, welcome to the meetin’. Come on, fair go, settle down …would somebody stop the Seven Little Australians eatin’ the Magic Puddin’, please? … thanks, Dave. How’s your Dad, by the way? Yeah? Beauty, mate. Now we got a situation here. Nobody’s seen the Man from Snowy River for over a week now, and we reckon he’s gone walkabout. The horse has been complainin’, an’ readers are goin’ to start noticin’ any day now. Now I reckon somebody knows where he’s at, so I want you all to think very hard here. Any one of youse knows anythin’, you speak up, ‘cos unless somebody dobs him in one of youse is goin’ to have to go an’ look for him, an’ you know what happened last time. We can’t afford any more of our blokes to end up like that. Took us weeks to get the pommie accent out of the Jolly Swagman, an’ what possessed him to jump into Northanger Abbey in the first place, God alone knows. So think hard, fellas, and if you know somethin’, say.
OK, next item. Oh, yeah, we’ve been noticin’ some strange editions appearin’ lately. There’ve been sightin’s of new chapters in some copies of A Town Like Alice, in which the action is switched from Alice Springs to Albert Park Beach, or in one case Surfer’s Paradise. Don’t think I don’t know what’s goin’ on. I realise that Alice in 1946 is a tough station, but meddlin’ with the text just so you can play the pokies or catch a few waves is not on. Strewth, Surfer’s Paradise wasn’t even there in 1946! And another thing. Slippin’ the names of fictitious Melbourne Cup winners into books an’ then nippin’ round the bookies for a sly ante-post is right out. And whoever got into the VFL Yearbook and changed the names of all the Grand Final winners to St. Kilda was just bein’ childish. And on the subject of dereliction of duty, bein’ in On The Beach does not mean stayin’ on the beach the whole bloody time, so let’s have fewer transfer requests, OK? And don’t think I haven’t noticed the Ern Malley collection is growin’ again. That’s five extra poems this year. Cut it out.
Right. Bit of bad news, fellas. The picnic at Hanging Rock has had to be cancelled again, yeah, yeah, I know, I was lookin’ forward to it meself. Somethin’ about not bein’ able to arrange return transport ….
Now, I’ve had a few complaints from our colleagues over the Tasman. Any of youse lot doin’ a relief in a Keri Hulme or a Janet Frame try and remember the word is ‘yis’. We’ve had a few embarrassments lately, and there was even an outbreak of Brisbane accent in a Katharine Mansfield. You may think it doesn’t matter, but these days even Europeans are startin’ to notice. Keep them vowels long and flat, mates.
Finally, I’m lookin’ for volunteers. We need more bodies for The Fatal Shore, and also for Kangaroo. OK, OK, stop whingin’. Strewth. I realise those chains are a bit of a bastard in The Fatal Shore, but anybody does a turn there I’ll see them straight, OK? Three weeks in a Keneally for one in the Hughes, is that a deal? And as for the Lawrence, I realise he’s a pommie pain in the arse but we’re duty bound to make a show; nobody in Nottingham chapter can do an Aussie accent worth spit.
OK, that’s about it, big wraps to Mrs. Woolcot for the spread, best meat pie floaters I’ve had this century. Good on yer, Mrs. W. OK, off you go, and hey, remember; no worries out there.</HTML>
OK, g’day all, welcome to the meetin’. Come on, fair go, settle down …would somebody stop the Seven Little Australians eatin’ the Magic Puddin’, please? … thanks, Dave. How’s your Dad, by the way? Yeah? Beauty, mate. Now we got a situation here. Nobody’s seen the Man from Snowy River for over a week now, and we reckon he’s gone walkabout. The horse has been complainin’, an’ readers are goin’ to start noticin’ any day now. Now I reckon somebody knows where he’s at, so I want you all to think very hard here. Any one of youse knows anythin’, you speak up, ‘cos unless somebody dobs him in one of youse is goin’ to have to go an’ look for him, an’ you know what happened last time. We can’t afford any more of our blokes to end up like that. Took us weeks to get the pommie accent out of the Jolly Swagman, an’ what possessed him to jump into Northanger Abbey in the first place, God alone knows. So think hard, fellas, and if you know somethin’, say.
OK, next item. Oh, yeah, we’ve been noticin’ some strange editions appearin’ lately. There’ve been sightin’s of new chapters in some copies of A Town Like Alice, in which the action is switched from Alice Springs to Albert Park Beach, or in one case Surfer’s Paradise. Don’t think I don’t know what’s goin’ on. I realise that Alice in 1946 is a tough station, but meddlin’ with the text just so you can play the pokies or catch a few waves is not on. Strewth, Surfer’s Paradise wasn’t even there in 1946! And another thing. Slippin’ the names of fictitious Melbourne Cup winners into books an’ then nippin’ round the bookies for a sly ante-post is right out. And whoever got into the VFL Yearbook and changed the names of all the Grand Final winners to St. Kilda was just bein’ childish. And on the subject of dereliction of duty, bein’ in On The Beach does not mean stayin’ on the beach the whole bloody time, so let’s have fewer transfer requests, OK? And don’t think I haven’t noticed the Ern Malley collection is growin’ again. That’s five extra poems this year. Cut it out.
Right. Bit of bad news, fellas. The picnic at Hanging Rock has had to be cancelled again, yeah, yeah, I know, I was lookin’ forward to it meself. Somethin’ about not bein’ able to arrange return transport ….
Now, I’ve had a few complaints from our colleagues over the Tasman. Any of youse lot doin’ a relief in a Keri Hulme or a Janet Frame try and remember the word is ‘yis’. We’ve had a few embarrassments lately, and there was even an outbreak of Brisbane accent in a Katharine Mansfield. You may think it doesn’t matter, but these days even Europeans are startin’ to notice. Keep them vowels long and flat, mates.
Finally, I’m lookin’ for volunteers. We need more bodies for The Fatal Shore, and also for Kangaroo. OK, OK, stop whingin’. Strewth. I realise those chains are a bit of a bastard in The Fatal Shore, but anybody does a turn there I’ll see them straight, OK? Three weeks in a Keneally for one in the Hughes, is that a deal? And as for the Lawrence, I realise he’s a pommie pain in the arse but we’re duty bound to make a show; nobody in Nottingham chapter can do an Aussie accent worth spit.
OK, that’s about it, big wraps to Mrs. Woolcot for the spread, best meat pie floaters I’ve had this century. Good on yer, Mrs. W. OK, off you go, and hey, remember; no worries out there.</HTML>
Re: For Our Australian Readers
Posted by: charles ronayne (---.liv.ac.uk)
Date: November 11, 2002 04:10PM
<HTML>:-) Thats pretty good Jon. It does make me wonder whether there are like many Jurisfictions out there, one for every language. One for the Welsh one for the Spanish one for the Geordies etc. Like would a Spanish Mispelling Vyrus really matter to us? And would we have to get involved if somebody got into German literature and made it so they only had one word for 'the' like we do?
Hmmm. Back to the pondering.
Charles</HTML>
Hmmm. Back to the pondering.
Charles</HTML>
Re: For Our Australian Readers
Posted by: charles ronayne (---.liv.ac.uk)
Date: November 11, 2002 04:12PM
<HTML>Oh by the way I dont mind having specialsit Austrailian threads which I can gatecrash as long as all conversation stays well away from the cricket!! That hurt.</HTML>
Re: For Our Australian Readers
Posted by: poetscientistdrinker (---.cache.pol.co.uk)
Date: November 12, 2002 12:21AM
<HTML>jon - surely it should be JurOzFiction?
btw - still writing so don't panic!</HTML>
btw - still writing so don't panic!</HTML>
Re: For Our Australian Readers
Posted by: jon (---.abel.net.uk)
Date: November 12, 2002 08:42AM
<HTML>Liverpool...Evesham....distinct lack of antipodean locations in these responses. What do the Aussies think? (I need to know whether I'll get turned back by immigration when I visit ... don't let him in, he's the bludger who ripped the ---- out of Aussie literature, the bastard...)</HTML>
Re: For Our Australian Readers
Posted by: Karen (---.syd.ops.aspac.uu.net)
Date: November 12, 2002 12:07PM
<HTML>Jon
I am an Australian and I like your piece (and earlier pieces).
I reckon you would get in through immigration OK for sure and are probably better read than many antipodean and non.
Originally from South Australia (now living in Melbourne) I am glad to see the South Australian delicacy (*not*) the pie-floater even scores a mention.
You have a very active brain (and typing fingers) - good to see/read
Karen</HTML>
I am an Australian and I like your piece (and earlier pieces).
I reckon you would get in through immigration OK for sure and are probably better read than many antipodean and non.
Originally from South Australia (now living in Melbourne) I am glad to see the South Australian delicacy (*not*) the pie-floater even scores a mention.
You have a very active brain (and typing fingers) - good to see/read
Karen</HTML>
Re: For Our Australian Readers
Posted by: Anne (---.dc1-cache2.syd.dav.net.au)
Date: November 12, 2002 11:33PM
<HTML>Hey Karen, you're not the Karen who converted me to Ffordeism are you? If you are please give me a call so we can catch up fo coffee. If you are a different Karen
then we should start our own little Thursday Next club! We could be the "Nextets"!
Please E-mail me either way.</HTML>
then we should start our own little Thursday Next club! We could be the "Nextets"!
Please E-mail me either way.</HTML>
Re: For Our Australian Readers
Posted by: Anne (---.dc1-cache2.syd.dav.net.au)
Date: November 13, 2002 01:01AM
<HTML>Ooops! Again! I'm only a receptionist! :-) I meant Nextettes.</HTML>
Re: For Our Australian Readers
Posted by: Ooktavia (---.nv.iinet.net.au)
Date: November 13, 2002 12:16PM
<HTML>I am not an Ozie, but as a backpacker currently in Oz, I saqy that thats just BRIILANT!!!
AMAZING!!
Jon- Have you thought about what would happen if either Jurisfiction or Thursday herself got into scifi???? have you???? Please??? I think she'd scare the daleks myself........... (yes there are Dr Who and Star Trek etc books- TV tie-ins/cashins) Oh go on. You know you want to........</HTML>
AMAZING!!
Jon- Have you thought about what would happen if either Jurisfiction or Thursday herself got into scifi???? have you???? Please??? I think she'd scare the daleks myself........... (yes there are Dr Who and Star Trek etc books- TV tie-ins/cashins) Oh go on. You know you want to........</HTML>
Re: For Our Australian Readers
Posted by: Magda (---.med.umich.edu)
Date: November 14, 2002 02:29PM
<HTML>Would you believe that just the other day I was wondering what would happen if Thursday got into a Dr. Who book with the Daleks?
Great minds think alike (and so do ours).
As I recall she doesn't usually wear a hat, so she can't use the Doctor's trick for blinding them, but I imagine she could find something else to throw over the eyestalk. And as long as it's not one of the later stories, she can always escape by running up a flight of stairs
-Magda ( who suddenly has EXTERMINATE, EXTERMINATE, EXTERMINATE running through her head)</HTML>
Great minds think alike (and so do ours).
As I recall she doesn't usually wear a hat, so she can't use the Doctor's trick for blinding them, but I imagine she could find something else to throw over the eyestalk. And as long as it's not one of the later stories, she can always escape by running up a flight of stairs
-Magda ( who suddenly has EXTERMINATE, EXTERMINATE, EXTERMINATE running through her head)</HTML>
Re: For Our Australian Readers
Posted by: jon brierley (---.abel.net.uk)
Date: November 14, 2002 02:47PM
<HTML>The trouble with running up stairs to escape Daleks is that you might meet a Cyberman coming the other way ..... see JurisScienceFiction thread for more on this topic.</HTML>
Re: For Our Australian Readers
Posted by: Magda (---.med.umich.edu)
Date: November 15, 2002 05:24PM
<HTML>Yes, I saw the JurisScienceFiction thread after posting this. Well done!
-Magda-</HTML>
-Magda-</HTML>
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