ThursdayNext : www.jasperfforde.com
A discussion of all things Thursday !
Oh dear....
Posted by: poetscientistdrinker (---.cache.pol.co.uk)
Date: November 24, 2002 08:11PM
<HTML>Firstly, I must apologise for what follows. It's @#$%&, shoddy, ill-advised and entirely representative of its author. I have been suffering from a recurring nightmare that a certain song will be parodied. Every time I log onto the Fforum I break into a cold sweat in case it came true. However, I have realised I can avoid all this by writing it myself so that I know which thread to avoid.
Readers of a sensitive nature should shut their eyes at this point. In fact, readers of a sensitive naturemay wish to leave the country. For the truly stupid (brave) this should not be read by man, but by a horde of drunken women.
So, if the ladies would like to arrange their handbags neatly, we'll begin.
<i>
First I was afraid, I was petrified.
Thinking about all the books I could trapped inside.
And I spent so many nights reading books till half past three,
And now I think that Thursday Next has got the best of me....
Jack Schitt is back! And Landen's gone.
Hades has got a sister and Goliath are still strong,
And the world may soon turn pink, Angel Delight is bad you see,
It seems that my school dinners will come back to bother me.
I'm losing time, I'm still confused.
People look at me funny when I'm reading on the tube,
I try to explain it's not my fault, that Jasper Fforde is God,
But it's hard to convice them when I'm laughing like a goat...
Still I will read! I will survive!
As long as there are paragraphs I know I'll stay alive,
I've got sentences to serve,
And there are quotes I want to learn,
I'll survive! I will survive!
Hey hey hey...
It takes all the strength I have, not to fall apart.
My sides have finally split and my head will soon depart,
I've spent so many nights worrying about my mental health,
But at least it's not Tolkien's bloody gnomes and elfs.
Jurisfiction! And Kafka's trial,
Mammoths and dodos, cameo's, and bad puns all the while,
Miss Havisham's a nightmare when she steps in to a car,
And Granny Next is painting stuff that's understood by 'Thals.
I'm losing time, I'm still confused.
People look at me funny when I'm reading on the tube,
I need the services of Spec-Ops 15 please,,
But thank God that Gordon Brown's not taxing us for cheese...
So I will read! I will survive!
As long as Spec-Ops 27 help me stay alive,
I've got sentences to serve,
And there are quotes I want to learn,
I'll survive! I will survive!
</i>
I think I'll leave the country before Spec-Ops 31 come and find me...</HTML>
Readers of a sensitive nature should shut their eyes at this point. In fact, readers of a sensitive naturemay wish to leave the country. For the truly stupid (brave) this should not be read by man, but by a horde of drunken women.
So, if the ladies would like to arrange their handbags neatly, we'll begin.
<i>
First I was afraid, I was petrified.
Thinking about all the books I could trapped inside.
And I spent so many nights reading books till half past three,
And now I think that Thursday Next has got the best of me....
Jack Schitt is back! And Landen's gone.
Hades has got a sister and Goliath are still strong,
And the world may soon turn pink, Angel Delight is bad you see,
It seems that my school dinners will come back to bother me.
I'm losing time, I'm still confused.
People look at me funny when I'm reading on the tube,
I try to explain it's not my fault, that Jasper Fforde is God,
But it's hard to convice them when I'm laughing like a goat...
Still I will read! I will survive!
As long as there are paragraphs I know I'll stay alive,
I've got sentences to serve,
And there are quotes I want to learn,
I'll survive! I will survive!
Hey hey hey...
It takes all the strength I have, not to fall apart.
My sides have finally split and my head will soon depart,
I've spent so many nights worrying about my mental health,
But at least it's not Tolkien's bloody gnomes and elfs.
Jurisfiction! And Kafka's trial,
Mammoths and dodos, cameo's, and bad puns all the while,
Miss Havisham's a nightmare when she steps in to a car,
And Granny Next is painting stuff that's understood by 'Thals.
I'm losing time, I'm still confused.
People look at me funny when I'm reading on the tube,
I need the services of Spec-Ops 15 please,,
But thank God that Gordon Brown's not taxing us for cheese...
So I will read! I will survive!
As long as Spec-Ops 27 help me stay alive,
I've got sentences to serve,
And there are quotes I want to learn,
I'll survive! I will survive!
</i>
I think I'll leave the country before Spec-Ops 31 come and find me...</HTML>
Re: Oh dear....
Posted by: Jon (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: November 24, 2002 09:18PM
<HTML>Oh dear indeed. Two points arise;
1. Slice it as thin as you like, Angel Delight is not Dream Topping.
2. In order to parody a song effectively, one has to know the words and the tune. How one comes by such arcane knowledge as to produce the above is not my province to speculate on. Let other pens than mine dwell on unhappiness and misery.
(Cavillers may aver that this pen was in fact responsible for the dubious farrago loosely based on Bohemian Rhapsody, but to these doubters I can only respond by observing that, in the immortal words of Joe E Ross, nobody's perfect).</HTML>
1. Slice it as thin as you like, Angel Delight is not Dream Topping.
2. In order to parody a song effectively, one has to know the words and the tune. How one comes by such arcane knowledge as to produce the above is not my province to speculate on. Let other pens than mine dwell on unhappiness and misery.
(Cavillers may aver that this pen was in fact responsible for the dubious farrago loosely based on Bohemian Rhapsody, but to these doubters I can only respond by observing that, in the immortal words of Joe E Ross, nobody's perfect).</HTML>
Re: Oh dear....
Posted by: ScarletBea (---.telepac.pt)
Date: November 24, 2002 10:17PM
<HTML>*thanks God I'm reading this at home and not at work and that the walls are thick enough not to get neighbours calling the mental institute for hysterical laughing*
BEEEEEEEENNNNNNN!</HTML>
BEEEEEEEENNNNNNN!</HTML>
Re: Oh dear....
Posted by: poetscientistdrinker (---.cache.pol.co.uk)
Date: November 24, 2002 10:56PM
<HTML>Sorry, sorry, sorry. I promise to reread LIAGB as soon as possible. In my defence I was unable to check the accuracy of my memory after begging my mother to read both TN books, to which she finally agreed. It seemed a little silly to ask her to lend me them back just to check one thing...
They're both pink though...
As for knowing the lyrics, I pinched them off the web, but covered up most of the screen to avoid over-exposure.
It still made me come out in a nasty rash though...</HTML>
They're both pink though...
As for knowing the lyrics, I pinched them off the web, but covered up most of the screen to avoid over-exposure.
It still made me come out in a nasty rash though...</HTML>
Re: Oh dear....
Posted by: poetscientistdrinker (---.cache.pol.co.uk)
Date: November 24, 2002 11:04PM
<HTML>Bea - two issues...
1: I've finally found a song you recognise?
2: Portugal has mental institutes for hysterical laughing? Fan-bloody-tastic! When do they start exporting them and can my room be en-suite, please?</HTML>
1: I've finally found a song you recognise?
2: Portugal has mental institutes for hysterical laughing? Fan-bloody-tastic! When do they start exporting them and can my room be en-suite, please?</HTML>
Re: Oh dear....
Posted by: ScarletBea (---.be.jnj.com)
Date: November 25, 2002 08:31AM
<HTML>Ben!
tsk tsk
I just didn't recognise the beatles one ;)
And no, of course not: imagine what it would be, all the Nextaholics together ;)</HTML>
tsk tsk
I just didn't recognise the beatles one ;)
And no, of course not: imagine what it would be, all the Nextaholics together ;)</HTML>
Re: Angel Delight
Posted by: Jon (---.abel.net.uk)
Date: November 25, 2002 09:31AM
<HTML>Ben, you are forgiven for this lapse...it's just that at the minute I am probably the world's leading expert on LIAGB (as far as page 273, anyway).</HTML>
Re: Angel Delight
Posted by: Ooktavia (---.nv.iinet.net.au)
Date: November 25, 2002 09:49AM
<HTML>DE-Lightful!</HTML>
Re: Angel Delight
Posted by: poetscientistdrinker (---.rdg.ac.uk)
Date: November 25, 2002 11:22AM
<HTML>Er, surely Mr Fforde holds that title?
Having seen the back-plot and early drafts and all....</HTML>
Having seen the back-plot and early drafts and all....</HTML>
Re: Angel Delight
Posted by: Jon (---.abel.net.uk)
Date: November 25, 2002 11:36AM
<HTML>Well, yes, but the esteemed Mr. Fforde is now enmeshed (we hope) in WOLP, and therefore cannot be expected to hold trivia from LIAGB in his memory. Authors do writing, and sad fanboys do obsessive annotations.</HTML>
Re: Angel Delight
Posted by: poetscientistdrinker (---.rdg.ac.uk)
Date: November 25, 2002 11:42AM
<HTML>Rightyo - glad we cleared up that then...
I have an excuse for the pink gloop confusion, btw - I had a deprived childhood and never had E-number packed gloops of any form. Hence I never learnt the difference.
I can however tell the difference between 80 types of cardboard purely through taste and texture....</HTML>
I have an excuse for the pink gloop confusion, btw - I had a deprived childhood and never had E-number packed gloops of any form. Hence I never learnt the difference.
I can however tell the difference between 80 types of cardboard purely through taste and texture....</HTML>
Re: Angel Delight
Posted by: Jon (---.abel.net.uk)
Date: November 25, 2002 11:51AM
<HTML>Perhaps the confusion could be dispelled were one of Daphne Farquitt's bodice-rippers to be titled 'Angel D. Light' (the story of a plucky gel's rise to the top of the confectionery business, despite the unwanted attentions of Sir Manchester Tartt. She eventually finds true happiness with honest Irishman Sem O'Lina).
I shan't ask about the cardboard.</HTML>
I shan't ask about the cardboard.</HTML>
Re: Angel Delight
Posted by: poetscientistdrinker (---.rdg.ac.uk)
Date: November 25, 2002 12:14PM
<HTML>Does Sem have a brother called Tappi O'Ca, per chance?
And as for the notorious highwayman 'Spotted Dick' and his French Lover 'Blanc Mange'...</HTML>
And as for the notorious highwayman 'Spotted Dick' and his French Lover 'Blanc Mange'...</HTML>
Re: Angel Delight
Posted by: All-American-Cutie (---.dalect01.va.comcast.net)
Date: November 25, 2002 04:04PM
<HTML>You know, whilst reading that hideously delightful parody, I couldn't help but picture Ben in a polyester disco dress with an afro wig on his head. I think it'll take me a while to rid that image from my brain. Oh the horror!
~Twila~</HTML>
~Twila~</HTML>
Re: Angel Delight
Posted by: poetscientistdrinker (---.cache.pol.co.uk)
Date: November 25, 2002 06:22PM
<HTML>How did you get <i>those</i> photos?
I was sure I'd burned them...</HTML>
I was sure I'd burned them...</HTML>
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