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Moggilicious
Posted by: Minsky Cat (---.vip.uk.com)
Date: December 04, 2002 11:37AM

<HTML>Hah! I knew it. My staff is in the Chrono-Guard. So that's why she isn't always sure what day it is...

Since I made this discovery, I have been pestering her at great length to get me some tuna-flavoured Moggilicious, but she refuses on the grounds that it would not be good for me. At the moment I am fed Iams, which is apparently a) highly nutritious and b) expensive. It is true that I am in extraordinarily good condition and so are the three other feline members of this household, and this may well be down to our regular diet, but when I see what some of my staff's friends eat, I can only consider that you humans are a bunch of hypocrites.

Damn the E-numbers. A cat is entitled to enjoy junk food just like anyone else. Moggilicious can be e-mailed to me at minsky_miaow@hotmail.com, provided you have a suitable matter transformer at your end.</HTML>

Re: Moggilicious
Posted by: Jon (---.abel.net.uk)
Date: December 04, 2002 11:41AM

<HTML>Did you know that Whiskas used to have some component that was addictive, ensuring that once a cat had eaten the smelly crap it would never look at another cat food again? I believe this evil practice has now stopped.

Help. I'm talking to cats now ....</HTML>

Re: Moggilicious
Posted by: Minsky Cat (---.vip.uk.com)
Date: December 04, 2002 11:44AM

<HTML>No, I didn't. Good heavens, the depths of iniquity to which you humans are capable of sinking... present company excepted, of course. I _like_ you lot.

And, pray, what is wrong with talking to cats? After all, _I_ am quite happy to talk to _you_, despite my status and dignity.</HTML>

Re: Moggilicious
Posted by: Jon (---.abel.net.uk)
Date: December 04, 2002 11:49AM

<HTML>Well, I know of a cockroach that could work a typewriter, (see <a href="http://www.donmarquis.com">The Don Marquis Site</a> for details), so I suppose a cat posting on a fforum isn;t <I>that</I> odd. If you had a paw-adapted keyboard.</HTML>

Re: Moggilicious
Posted by: Minsky Cat (---.vip.uk.com)
Date: December 04, 2002 11:53AM

<HTML>I dictate to my staff. That is, until I can get research funding to construct a suitable floor-based keyboard which I can operate by jumping from key to key. Unfortunately I'm also going to have to think of a way to stop my small, annoying, adopted ginger nephew Klinsmann from sitting on the Q key just to cause trouble. My staff refuses to allow me to kill him, which would be the most obvious solution.</HTML>

Re: Moggilicious
Posted by: Jon (---.abel.net.uk)
Date: December 04, 2002 11:58AM

<HTML>I forgot to mention that the cockroach in question (Archy by name) often used to take dictation from a cat (Mehitabel, who claimed to be a re-incarnation of Cleopatra).

Er - if your staff is a QPR fan, why is the ginger one called Klinsmann, then?</HTML>

Re: Moggilicious
Posted by: Minsky Cat (---.vip.uk.com)
Date: December 04, 2002 12:03PM

<HTML>Because I used to have a male member of staff too, until the present one divorced him for lies, debts and adultery, and he supported Sheffield United so he wasn't going to stand for two new ginger kittens being named Wilkins and Ferdinand. A compromise was therefore agreed and they were named Klinsmann and Bierhoff, until they discovered Bierhoff was in fact a little girl (which of course I could have told them if they'd only bothered asking) and hastily renamed her Heidi. This was for her habit of disappearing into the nearest Heidi-hole at the slightest possible hint of danger. Mind you, with a brother like that, I must confess I don't entirely blame her.

My staff says she has read Archy and Mehitabel, but she hasn't got a copy I can visit. Shame. I think I would get on well with Mehitabel.</HTML>

Re: Moggilicious
Posted by: Jon (---.abel.net.uk)
Date: December 04, 2002 12:08PM

<HTML>Shouldn't think your staff would let you associate with morally dubious characters like that. (And for those who don't know WTF we're talking about, you should; use that link to the Don Marquis site and find out! It'll be well worth it, I promise).</HTML>

Re: Moggilicious
Posted by: Minsky Cat (---.vip.uk.com)
Date: December 04, 2002 12:10PM

<HTML>I associate with whom I please. My staff has nothing to do with it. And she can't stop me getting into books, either! [Note from Minsky's staff: Arrogant so-and-so, isn't he? If he doesn't get off his high horse I'm going to reveal his nickname to the world... ;-) ]</HTML>

Cats!
Posted by: Bob Dog (---.abel.net.uk)
Date: December 04, 2002 12:11PM

<HTML><p><font face="Arial" color="#800000"><b>Oh boy, a pussycat to chase! Woof woof woof woof woof woof ouch! whine whimper ooh that hurt ....</b></font></p></HTML>

Re: Cats!
Posted by: Sarah (---.vip.uk.com)
Date: December 04, 2002 12:13PM

<HTML>Stop that right now, Minsky, or I'll tell everyone your dreadful secret!</HTML>

Re: Cats!
Posted by: Jon (---.abel.net.uk)
Date: December 04, 2002 12:15PM

<HTML>Heel! Heel! Bloody heel, you idiot .... sorry about that, he does get carried away....</HTML>

Re: Cats!
Posted by: Sarah (---.vip.uk.com)
Date: December 04, 2002 12:18PM

<HTML>Oh, that's all right. Just be thankful it wasn't Klinsmann he met. He's a complete psycho-puss.</HTML>

Re: Cats and Dogs
Posted by: Jon (---.abel.net.uk)
Date: December 04, 2002 12:23PM

<HTML><p>Go <a href="http://www.geocities.com/enematic5000/petsdiary.html">here</a>
for a fuller insight into the minds of cats and dogs ...</p></HTML>

Re: Cats and Dogs
Posted by: Sarah (---.vip.uk.com)
Date: December 04, 2002 12:27PM

<HTML>Seen the cat one. Hadn't seen the dog one. I laughed like a drain. Why does all this put me in mind of Garfield and Odie?</HTML>

Re: Cats and Dogs
Posted by: Jon (---.abel.net.uk)
Date: December 04, 2002 12:29PM

<HTML>Because the best humour comes from recognisable archetypes; when Claire and I first saw the diary we killed ourselves laughing - Bob <I><B>is</B></I> that dog.</HTML>

Re: Cats and Dogs
Posted by: Sarah (---.vip.uk.com)
Date: December 04, 2002 12:32PM

<HTML>Funny. I once had that dog too... ;-)</HTML>

Re: Cats and Dogs
Posted by: Jon (---.abel.net.uk)
Date: December 04, 2002 12:38PM

<HTML>The other one, Mia, is entirely different, though. She has a heart of pure evil, and is capable of great deceit and cunning. If she doesn't get what she wants, she will say nothing, but quietly sneak off and do something wicked in a corner. If she doesn't feel like eating her dinner, she doesn't just leave it. Oh, no. She sits there by it, driving Bob mad with frustration, growling at him to keep him away.

She loves me, though. What that says about me I'd rather not think.</HTML>

Re: Cats and Dogs
Posted by: Sarah (---.vip.uk.com)
Date: December 04, 2002 12:41PM

<HTML>Klinsmann loves me, too. I feel pretty much the same way about that...</HTML>

Re: Cats and Dogs
Posted by: Jon (---.abel.net.uk)
Date: December 04, 2002 12:52PM

<HTML>yes, she sits there and gazes at me with a look that says "you might be clever, pal, but do you know who Shakespeare's mother was?"

Not that this debacle is in any way eating at my soul, you understand ...</HTML>

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