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A discussion of all things Thursday !
Can we still be Friends?
Posted by: Jon (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: December 08, 2002 07:58PM
<HTML><I>The Jurisfiction Character Exchange scheme continues to go well, and as
proof, we are proud to have today on the Fforum -</I>
<B>The One with Much Ado About Nothing</B>
Prologue
CHORUS: Three couples, each with lack of dignity
In fair Greenwich where we set our scene;
The hilarious misadventures of same
Film’d before a live studio audience.
Scene the First; within Central Perk. Enter EMILY.
EMILY: What country, friend, is this?
GUNTHER: It is New York, lady.
EMILY; How so? For none I see here are black, and
Th’ unemploy’d may rent condos in the city;
And all I meet are at least ten years more
In age than that they give out; what means this?
GUNTHER: It is a sitcom, lady, and nought to
Fear; but all is alter’d from its true state.
EMILY: Ay; its true state being California.
Soft; here comes one I know.
(enter ROSS)
ROSS: What do you here? Are not you she who was once my wife?
EMILY: Ay, one of many; thou marriest in haste
And repenteth over eight episodes.
ROSS: Thou knowest that thou art not my true love.
EMILY: Ay, I know it; I know whom thou lov’st; I
Wish thee joy of a big fat Greek wedding.
(aside) And fear not, shalt be a big fat Greek wife.
ROSS (aside): I durst not speak that which is my true love;
My passion is truly for Monica
But the network will not hear of incest.
(enter PHOEBE)
PHOEBE: What does this one here? She is not of us!
Ross, thou knows’t the Law; none outside the Six
Shall seek to couple with another, save
For half a series only; then it ends.
EMILY: I shall not take such talk from one who is
Nought but a cut-price Gwyneth Paltrow; Gods!
James Nesbitt were worth three of Ross!
PHOEBE: Why com’st
Thou here then?
EMILY: Half a million bucks a show.
PHOEBE: Depart, thou hussy; thy silver in thy purse!
(exit EMILY)
PHOEBE: Well, that saw her off; and I trow, we’ll have no more of that
I shall upon a barstool sit, and sing thee Smelly Cat.
Scene the Second, Monica’s flat; enter RACHEL
RACHEL: Is my hair quite cute? Am I adorable?
Shall all men cast themselves down at my feet?
It is a plague to be so beautiful.
Faithless the men that follow me, their hands around me flit;
I’ll take me to the ladies room, and have a quick Brad Pitt.
(enter MONICA)
RACHEL (aside): She comes; she hath a lean and hungry look;
Such women are dangerous; to themselves.
MONICA: Hast thou moved ought in here? It was tidy!
RACHEL: It yet is!
MONICA: I have pow’rs ye know not of
And can tell if ought hath chang’d – the theory is
RACHEL (aside) Oh, God, here comes the science bit!
MONICA: That atoms
Only may be disturbed and yet I shall know.
RACHEL: Powers ye may have, and slimness o’ermuch,
But still thou art yet naught but a scream queen.
MONICA: Scream queen? Say’st thou; but my films money make.
Scene the Third, Chandler’s flat; CHANDLER is watching TV. Enter JOEY
JOEY: Good morrow, Master Bing, and what may you be watching?
CHANDLER: Good morrow yourself, Master Tribbiani, and it hap that I am watching Baywatch.
JOEY: A fine spectacle, doubtless, and were you to watch it much, new spectacles would you need.
CHANDLER: I’faith, ‘tis all one.
JOEY: I can see quite two from here.
CHANDLER: Ay, marry, and two such come not singly to the pound.
JOEY: And you would pound yourself at the thought, had you but an ape handy to punish.
CHANDLER: Hast come here but to jape, Master Tribbiani, or does an errand bring you?
JOEY: Thou might well ask, old comrade. Be joyful, for I have been offered a part in a play!
CHANDLER: Go to; what part is this, pray?
JOEY: In truth, I know not surely, but it skills not. It pays; ‘tis all. But for a costume I am to seek an asses’ head. Wherefore I came to you.
CHANDLER: Why, you jackanapes; will you mock me?
JOEY: Ay, gladly, if there be none else to do it.
CHANDLER: Stop you; this play; be there other parts, as it might be for one seeking to launch a film career?
JOEY: Assuredly, but none as would suit yourself.
CHANDLER: How not so?
JOEY: They have measured all the costumes carefully, and need not look for one with more girth than hath a hog.
CHANDLER: Why, go to, thou rascal! Have at thee, knave!
(Exit JOEY, pursued by a BING).</HTML>
proof, we are proud to have today on the Fforum -</I>
<B>The One with Much Ado About Nothing</B>
Prologue
CHORUS: Three couples, each with lack of dignity
In fair Greenwich where we set our scene;
The hilarious misadventures of same
Film’d before a live studio audience.
Scene the First; within Central Perk. Enter EMILY.
EMILY: What country, friend, is this?
GUNTHER: It is New York, lady.
EMILY; How so? For none I see here are black, and
Th’ unemploy’d may rent condos in the city;
And all I meet are at least ten years more
In age than that they give out; what means this?
GUNTHER: It is a sitcom, lady, and nought to
Fear; but all is alter’d from its true state.
EMILY: Ay; its true state being California.
Soft; here comes one I know.
(enter ROSS)
ROSS: What do you here? Are not you she who was once my wife?
EMILY: Ay, one of many; thou marriest in haste
And repenteth over eight episodes.
ROSS: Thou knowest that thou art not my true love.
EMILY: Ay, I know it; I know whom thou lov’st; I
Wish thee joy of a big fat Greek wedding.
(aside) And fear not, shalt be a big fat Greek wife.
ROSS (aside): I durst not speak that which is my true love;
My passion is truly for Monica
But the network will not hear of incest.
(enter PHOEBE)
PHOEBE: What does this one here? She is not of us!
Ross, thou knows’t the Law; none outside the Six
Shall seek to couple with another, save
For half a series only; then it ends.
EMILY: I shall not take such talk from one who is
Nought but a cut-price Gwyneth Paltrow; Gods!
James Nesbitt were worth three of Ross!
PHOEBE: Why com’st
Thou here then?
EMILY: Half a million bucks a show.
PHOEBE: Depart, thou hussy; thy silver in thy purse!
(exit EMILY)
PHOEBE: Well, that saw her off; and I trow, we’ll have no more of that
I shall upon a barstool sit, and sing thee Smelly Cat.
Scene the Second, Monica’s flat; enter RACHEL
RACHEL: Is my hair quite cute? Am I adorable?
Shall all men cast themselves down at my feet?
It is a plague to be so beautiful.
Faithless the men that follow me, their hands around me flit;
I’ll take me to the ladies room, and have a quick Brad Pitt.
(enter MONICA)
RACHEL (aside): She comes; she hath a lean and hungry look;
Such women are dangerous; to themselves.
MONICA: Hast thou moved ought in here? It was tidy!
RACHEL: It yet is!
MONICA: I have pow’rs ye know not of
And can tell if ought hath chang’d – the theory is
RACHEL (aside) Oh, God, here comes the science bit!
MONICA: That atoms
Only may be disturbed and yet I shall know.
RACHEL: Powers ye may have, and slimness o’ermuch,
But still thou art yet naught but a scream queen.
MONICA: Scream queen? Say’st thou; but my films money make.
Scene the Third, Chandler’s flat; CHANDLER is watching TV. Enter JOEY
JOEY: Good morrow, Master Bing, and what may you be watching?
CHANDLER: Good morrow yourself, Master Tribbiani, and it hap that I am watching Baywatch.
JOEY: A fine spectacle, doubtless, and were you to watch it much, new spectacles would you need.
CHANDLER: I’faith, ‘tis all one.
JOEY: I can see quite two from here.
CHANDLER: Ay, marry, and two such come not singly to the pound.
JOEY: And you would pound yourself at the thought, had you but an ape handy to punish.
CHANDLER: Hast come here but to jape, Master Tribbiani, or does an errand bring you?
JOEY: Thou might well ask, old comrade. Be joyful, for I have been offered a part in a play!
CHANDLER: Go to; what part is this, pray?
JOEY: In truth, I know not surely, but it skills not. It pays; ‘tis all. But for a costume I am to seek an asses’ head. Wherefore I came to you.
CHANDLER: Why, you jackanapes; will you mock me?
JOEY: Ay, gladly, if there be none else to do it.
CHANDLER: Stop you; this play; be there other parts, as it might be for one seeking to launch a film career?
JOEY: Assuredly, but none as would suit yourself.
CHANDLER: How not so?
JOEY: They have measured all the costumes carefully, and need not look for one with more girth than hath a hog.
CHANDLER: Why, go to, thou rascal! Have at thee, knave!
(Exit JOEY, pursued by a BING).</HTML>
Re: Can we still be Friends?
Posted by: Sarah (---.vip.uk.com)
Date: December 08, 2002 08:27PM
<HTML>You know, for the first time in my life, I am now wishing I actually knew something about "Friends"!</HTML>
Re: Can we still be Friends?
Posted by: poestscientistdrinker (---.cache.pol.co.uk)
Date: December 08, 2002 11:50PM
<HTML>You don't need to know much about 'friends' - and the less the better. in the words of the master:
"oh what a mountain of mad flesh: dissembling harlots, that art false in all. And art confederate with a damned pack of scambling, outfacing, fashion-monging boys, that lie, and cog, and deprave and slander, go anticly, and show outward hideousness, and speak off half a dozen dang'rous words [in about half a dozen episodes], such is thy lewd, pestiferous and dissentious pranks. Reach for the remote - away with these giglets!"
Well, old Billy sure is better than Gary Bushell...</HTML>
"oh what a mountain of mad flesh: dissembling harlots, that art false in all. And art confederate with a damned pack of scambling, outfacing, fashion-monging boys, that lie, and cog, and deprave and slander, go anticly, and show outward hideousness, and speak off half a dozen dang'rous words [in about half a dozen episodes], such is thy lewd, pestiferous and dissentious pranks. Reach for the remote - away with these giglets!"
Well, old Billy sure is better than Gary Bushell...</HTML>
Re: Can we still be Friends?
Posted by: jon (---.abel.net.uk)
Date: December 09, 2002 09:49AM
<HTML>I'd like to point out that I am not in any way a fan of the show, it's just that when you need something to watch while eating tea it's either that or Anne 'Cymru am Byth' Robinson, so I have absorbed a certain amount of Friends-related material.
I believe there is a detox program available.</HTML>
I believe there is a detox program available.</HTML>
Re: Can we still be Friends?
Posted by: Sarah (---.vip.uk.com)
Date: December 09, 2002 11:25AM
<HTML>It is possible to lead a TV-free lifestyle. I've enjoyed one for the last twenty-odd years, apart from the occasional carefully-chosen DVD when I go and visit my parents in the Lake District. Unfortunately I've discovered the Internet can be just as pernicious (witness the amount of time I waste on this Fforum...)</HTML>
Re: Can we still be Friends?
Posted by: dave (---.addleshaw-booth.co.uk)
Date: December 09, 2002 11:35AM
<HTML>waste? How can you call it wasting time?</HTML>
Re: Can we still be Friends?
Posted by: Sarah (---.vip.uk.com)
Date: December 09, 2002 12:20PM
<HTML>True. After all, it's keeping me entertained and out of mischief. ;-)</HTML>
Re: Can we still be Friends?
Posted by: Ooktavia (---.nv.iinet.net.au)
Date: December 09, 2002 01:29PM
<HTML>And in a legal, healthy and generally safe manner!</HTML>
Re: Can we still be Friends?
Posted by: dave (---.addleshaw-booth.co.uk)
Date: December 09, 2002 02:00PM
<HTML>although, mischief *can* be fun...</HTML>
Re: Can we still be Friends?
Posted by: Ooktavia (---.nv.iinet.net.au)
Date: December 10, 2002 12:50PM
<HTML>Miss Chief? who's she????</HTML>
Re: Can we still be Friends?
Posted by: dave (---.addleshaw-booth.co.uk)
Date: December 10, 2002 12:53PM
<HTML>that would be telling now, wouldn't it...</HTML>
Re: Can we still be Friends?
Posted by: jon (---.abel.net.uk)
Date: December 10, 2002 12:56PM
<HTML>I know a Mrs Chief. Or as I call her 'yes dear'.</HTML>
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