ThursdayNext : www.jasperfforde.com
A discussion of all things Thursday !
Rhyme and Unreason
Posted by: Jon (---.abel.net.uk)
Date: December 11, 2002 04:02PM
<HTML>It was a quiet day in the Rhyme & Unreason section of Jurisfiction. Operative Pilgrim sat tapping his pencil on his teeth, staring at the crossword in the Daily Mole. The door opened and his partner Juan came in. Juan nodded at Pilgrim’s paper.
“Any progress?”, he asked.
“Stuck on fourteen down; ‘Ten feet on each hand’.”
“Iambic pentameter.”
“Bugger, so it is. Any movement on that Auden business?”
“No; all quiet on the Wystan front. What about you? Any leads on the Hound of Heaven?”
“Yes, actually. I put a tail on him last night, and came up with some stuff that ought to bring him to heel; I reckon I might have a collar there. And not only that, I caught someone sneaking made-up words into Burns yesterday.”
“Not again. What was it this time?”
“Sleekit.”
“God help us. The things people do to poetry. I still remember Adlestrop.” The phone rang, and Juan answered it.
“Rhyme & Unreason, Operative Juan. Oh, hello, Liz. Really? OK, we’ll look into it. Thank-you very much. Bye!”
Pilgrim looked up.
“What?”
“That was Barrett-Browning; she’s been offered a lot of fourteen-line poems by a Senhor Camoes.”
“Sonnets from the Portuguese, eh? Could that be linked with the Spanish business, do you think, Don? How many were they trying to unload?”
“In Spain? One thousand and three. Yes – there might well be link with the Spanish lot. It was a tragedy we lost that one, you know.”
“Don’t kid yourself, Don; we were stitched up and you know it. It was Byron and Lamb all over again.”
“You’re right – what did the Mole call it? The Club Foot and the Pudding Club?”
“Something lame like that. It was a marvel we ever got as far as we did. And I bet you if we went into this Portuguese affair we’d get cut up like a couple of shallots.”
“Do you think?”
“Was Pope a hunchback?”
“I used him for a job once, you know, Pope.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah; good man with a lock. Bit of a dunce with figures, though. Here, did you hear about Dryden? He went into Gray’s Anatomy instead of Gray’s Elegy. Terrible business. He’s still a bit cut up about it.”
“Ah. Talking of news, what happened in the football?”
“Paradise lost, two-one. Lucifer got sent off in the first half.”
“Who scored the goal for Paradise?”
“Archangel Michael. I still say he’s not a natural goalscorer, though.”
“St. Michael? Didn’t he used to hang around with Karl and Edmund?”
“Yeah, he was big mates with Marx and Spenser at one time. Anyway, they’re open. Coming down the Tabard for a pint?”
“All right. You go on ahead and get ‘em in, I’ll catch up in a minute. I’m not stopping if Geoff’s in, mind. He doesn’t half tell boring stories.”
“Doesn’t he just. Never mind; maybe Percy’s back from his boat trip. Pint of Hemlock’s?”
“Nah. Left me all drowsy and numb last time. Make mine a cup of Kindness, will you?”
“I’ll try. Last time it was all gone long since. See you. Oh – and don’t forget we need to discuss Oscar – and the expenses for last month.”
“Farewell. Rewards and fairies, eh? I remember, I remember.”</HTML>
“Any progress?”, he asked.
“Stuck on fourteen down; ‘Ten feet on each hand’.”
“Iambic pentameter.”
“Bugger, so it is. Any movement on that Auden business?”
“No; all quiet on the Wystan front. What about you? Any leads on the Hound of Heaven?”
“Yes, actually. I put a tail on him last night, and came up with some stuff that ought to bring him to heel; I reckon I might have a collar there. And not only that, I caught someone sneaking made-up words into Burns yesterday.”
“Not again. What was it this time?”
“Sleekit.”
“God help us. The things people do to poetry. I still remember Adlestrop.” The phone rang, and Juan answered it.
“Rhyme & Unreason, Operative Juan. Oh, hello, Liz. Really? OK, we’ll look into it. Thank-you very much. Bye!”
Pilgrim looked up.
“What?”
“That was Barrett-Browning; she’s been offered a lot of fourteen-line poems by a Senhor Camoes.”
“Sonnets from the Portuguese, eh? Could that be linked with the Spanish business, do you think, Don? How many were they trying to unload?”
“In Spain? One thousand and three. Yes – there might well be link with the Spanish lot. It was a tragedy we lost that one, you know.”
“Don’t kid yourself, Don; we were stitched up and you know it. It was Byron and Lamb all over again.”
“You’re right – what did the Mole call it? The Club Foot and the Pudding Club?”
“Something lame like that. It was a marvel we ever got as far as we did. And I bet you if we went into this Portuguese affair we’d get cut up like a couple of shallots.”
“Do you think?”
“Was Pope a hunchback?”
“I used him for a job once, you know, Pope.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah; good man with a lock. Bit of a dunce with figures, though. Here, did you hear about Dryden? He went into Gray’s Anatomy instead of Gray’s Elegy. Terrible business. He’s still a bit cut up about it.”
“Ah. Talking of news, what happened in the football?”
“Paradise lost, two-one. Lucifer got sent off in the first half.”
“Who scored the goal for Paradise?”
“Archangel Michael. I still say he’s not a natural goalscorer, though.”
“St. Michael? Didn’t he used to hang around with Karl and Edmund?”
“Yeah, he was big mates with Marx and Spenser at one time. Anyway, they’re open. Coming down the Tabard for a pint?”
“All right. You go on ahead and get ‘em in, I’ll catch up in a minute. I’m not stopping if Geoff’s in, mind. He doesn’t half tell boring stories.”
“Doesn’t he just. Never mind; maybe Percy’s back from his boat trip. Pint of Hemlock’s?”
“Nah. Left me all drowsy and numb last time. Make mine a cup of Kindness, will you?”
“I’ll try. Last time it was all gone long since. See you. Oh – and don’t forget we need to discuss Oscar – and the expenses for last month.”
“Farewell. Rewards and fairies, eh? I remember, I remember.”</HTML>
Re: Rhyme and Unreason
Posted by: Sarah (---.vip.uk.com)
Date: December 11, 2002 09:07PM
<HTML>Yes, you definitely do need the dried frog (or ffrog) pills - but this is great stuff!</HTML>
Re: Rhyme and Unreason
Posted by: Jon (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: December 11, 2002 09:50PM
<HTML>I'm just waiting for Twila and her automatic groan ....</HTML>
Re: Rhyme and Unreason
Posted by: All-American-Cutie (---.dalect01.va.comcast.net)
Date: December 11, 2002 10:01PM
<HTML>I'm trying to cut back...</HTML>
Sorry, only registered users may post in this forum.