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A discussion of all things Thursday !
Appallingly Bad Christmas Punnage...
Posted by: poetscientistdrinker (---.rdg.ac.uk)
Date: December 16, 2002 11:07AM
<HTML>Time for some singing, I reckon....
<em>Last Christmas I ordered out,
For a feast with Stephen.
We ordered Wenceslas pizza -
'Twas deep pan, crisp and even.
Brightly the fire burnt that night,
The firemen were striking.
A Green Goddess came lumb'ring by,
I could have gone faster cycling.
"Come hither Steve, and stand by me,
A fine song by Ben E King,
Yonder peasant, who is he?
And tell me why he's shouting."
"Ben, he's bought a mobile phone,
So he can phone his office,
The reception's crap round here,
Especially on Orange.
Forget the mistletoe and wine,
I wish we had some logs near.
I wish we could avoid the cold,
By burning Sir Cliff Richard.
But the pub is just nearby,
So we went together,
And we sang the Scot's lament,
Walking through the spiky heather (wi nothin' unda ma kilt to cover ma goolies, ye ken)
"Ben, the night is darker now,
Some bastard's nicked the street lights.
And the wind is blowing hard,
I shouldn't have eaten those sprouts."
"Make thy footsteps good my friend,
For the pub is near now,
You only whinge 'cause it's your round,
You bloody cheating cheapskate."
And to the bar Stephen was marched,
And his wallet uncovered.
Many moths came flying out,
And forgeries he'd printed.
But my drunken men, be assured,
Hefinally got his round in.
A mighty pint of a fine beer,
Which aided Christmas cheer. </em></HTML>
<em>Last Christmas I ordered out,
For a feast with Stephen.
We ordered Wenceslas pizza -
'Twas deep pan, crisp and even.
Brightly the fire burnt that night,
The firemen were striking.
A Green Goddess came lumb'ring by,
I could have gone faster cycling.
"Come hither Steve, and stand by me,
A fine song by Ben E King,
Yonder peasant, who is he?
And tell me why he's shouting."
"Ben, he's bought a mobile phone,
So he can phone his office,
The reception's crap round here,
Especially on Orange.
Forget the mistletoe and wine,
I wish we had some logs near.
I wish we could avoid the cold,
By burning Sir Cliff Richard.
But the pub is just nearby,
So we went together,
And we sang the Scot's lament,
Walking through the spiky heather (wi nothin' unda ma kilt to cover ma goolies, ye ken)
"Ben, the night is darker now,
Some bastard's nicked the street lights.
And the wind is blowing hard,
I shouldn't have eaten those sprouts."
"Make thy footsteps good my friend,
For the pub is near now,
You only whinge 'cause it's your round,
You bloody cheating cheapskate."
And to the bar Stephen was marched,
And his wallet uncovered.
Many moths came flying out,
And forgeries he'd printed.
But my drunken men, be assured,
Hefinally got his round in.
A mighty pint of a fine beer,
Which aided Christmas cheer. </em></HTML>
Re: Appallingly Bad Christmas Punnage...
Posted by: ScarletBea (194.196.168.---)
Date: December 16, 2002 11:32AM
<HTML>lol
do we chose whatever music we want, then, or is it another piece of english tradition I'm missing?</HTML>
do we chose whatever music we want, then, or is it another piece of english tradition I'm missing?</HTML>
Re: Appallingly Bad Christmas Punnage...
Posted by: poetscientistdrinker (---.rdg.ac.uk)
Date: December 16, 2002 11:35AM
<HTML>Er, 'Good King Wenceslas'. Hence the pizza joke...
(See specifically line four at <A HREF="http://www.wilstar.net/xmas/wenceslas.htm">this here site</A>.</HTML>
(See specifically line four at <A HREF="http://www.wilstar.net/xmas/wenceslas.htm">this here site</A>.</HTML>
Re: Appallingly Bad Christmas Punnage...
Posted by: Jon (---.abel.net.uk)
Date: December 16, 2002 11:37AM
<HTML>Indeed, the fine old English tradition of Christmas carols, in this case the ditty known as "Good King Wenceslas". Although if you can fit the words above to the traditional tune, you're doing better than I am ....</HTML>
Re: Appallingly Bad Christmas Punnage...
Posted by: poetscientistdrinker (---.rdg.ac.uk)
Date: December 16, 2002 11:40AM
<HTML>Well, being absolutely fair, I can't remember the bloody tune to start with. I just figured it kind of fitted... Frankly it was just an overlong excuse to trot out the pizza joke.
It's a christmas tradition.</HTML>
It's a christmas tradition.</HTML>
Re: Appallingly Bad Christmas Punnage...
Posted by: Sarah (---.vip.uk.com)
Date: December 16, 2002 11:44AM
<HTML>Wilfred says it fits the tune perfectly well. H'mm, well, we all know about Wilfred, don't we? ;-)
Seriously... it doesn't fit, but I kind of like it anyway...</HTML>
Seriously... it doesn't fit, but I kind of like it anyway...</HTML>
Re: Appallingly Bad Christmas Punnage...
Posted by: poetscientistdrinker (---.rdg.ac.uk)
Date: December 16, 2002 11:47AM
<HTML>God blees you all in Spec-ops Ten,
Let nothing you dismay.
We've got no clue what you might do,
But do it anyway.
And save us all from such weird sh1t,
As just might come your way,
Oh filing your secrets away, secrets away,
Oh filing your secrets away.</HTML>
Let nothing you dismay.
We've got no clue what you might do,
But do it anyway.
And save us all from such weird sh1t,
As just might come your way,
Oh filing your secrets away, secrets away,
Oh filing your secrets away.</HTML>
Re: Appallingly Bad Christmas Punnage...
Posted by: Jon (---.abel.net.uk)
Date: December 16, 2002 11:48AM
<HTML>Ah, one of <I>those</I>. Like;
While shepherds washed their socks by night
All watching ITV
An Angel of the Lord came down
And switched to BBC.
Or even;
Jingle Bells, Batman smells
Robin ran away
The Batmobile has lost a wheel
So the Joker got away
Or how about;
We three Kings of Orient are
Following the light of yonder star
One on a scooter pipping his hooter
And two in a motor car
And my all time favourite, from way back in 1936;
Hark the herald angels sing
Mrs. Simpson's pinched our King</HTML>
While shepherds washed their socks by night
All watching ITV
An Angel of the Lord came down
And switched to BBC.
Or even;
Jingle Bells, Batman smells
Robin ran away
The Batmobile has lost a wheel
So the Joker got away
Or how about;
We three Kings of Orient are
Following the light of yonder star
One on a scooter pipping his hooter
And two in a motor car
And my all time favourite, from way back in 1936;
Hark the herald angels sing
Mrs. Simpson's pinched our King</HTML>
Re: Appallingly Bad Christmas Punnage...
Posted by: Sarah (---.vip.uk.com)
Date: December 16, 2002 11:50AM
<HTML>I like the Three Kings one best... hehehehehee!</HTML>
Re: Appallingly Bad Christmas Punnage...
Posted by: poetscientistdrinker (---.rdg.ac.uk)
Date: December 16, 2002 11:55AM
<HTML>We four lads of Liverpool are,
John in a taxi, Paul in a car,
George on his scooter, tooting his hooter,
Following Ringo Starr.</HTML>
John in a taxi, Paul in a car,
George on his scooter, tooting his hooter,
Following Ringo Starr.</HTML>
Re: Appallingly Bad Christmas Punnage...
Posted by: Sarah (---.vip.uk.com)
Date: December 16, 2002 11:57AM
<HTML>Cool... but what exactly is Ringo on? (Hang on, perhaps I ought to rephrase that...)</HTML>
Re: Appallingly Bad Christmas Punnage...
Posted by: poetscientistdrinker (---.rdg.ac.uk)
Date: December 16, 2002 12:02PM
<HTML>Thomas the Tank Engine, which I believe is on ITV, DVD and VHS...</HTML>
Re: Appallingly Bad Christmas Punnage...
Posted by: Sarah (---.vip.uk.com)
Date: December 16, 2002 12:03PM
<HTML>And indeed CD-ROM. My friend's little girl has one.</HTML>
Re: Appallingly Bad Christmas Punnage...
Posted by: Jon (---.abel.net.uk)
Date: December 16, 2002 12:25PM
<HTML>A Beatles tribute:
"Imagine no posessions, it's easy if you try ...."
"All we are saying, is give Peace a chance ..."
"Maybe I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time ..."
erm....oh, yes;
"Thomas the Tank Engine said to the Fat Controller ..."</HTML>
"Imagine no posessions, it's easy if you try ...."
"All we are saying, is give Peace a chance ..."
"Maybe I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time ..."
erm....oh, yes;
"Thomas the Tank Engine said to the Fat Controller ..."</HTML>
Re: Appallingly Bad Christmas Punnage...
Posted by: Sarah (---.vip.uk.com)
Date: December 16, 2002 12:27PM
<HTML>Well, someone I once met did a Blake's 7/Ivor the Engine crossover, so why not Thomas and the Beatles? (Question: can Thomas sing?)</HTML>
Re: Appallingly Bad Christmas Punnage...
Posted by: Jon (---.abel.net.uk)
Date: December 16, 2002 12:31PM
<HTML>Not if Ringo does his voice, no.</HTML>
Re: Appallingly Bad Christmas Punnage...
Posted by: Sarah (---.vip.uk.com)
Date: December 16, 2002 12:36PM
<HTML>H'mm. Perhaps I'll ask my friend's little girl. She's used to daft questions!</HTML>
Re: Appallingly Bad Christmas Punnage...
Posted by: poestscientistdrinker (---.cache.pol.co.uk)
Date: December 16, 2002 08:35PM
<HTML>That's unfair to Ringo. Everyone knows that 'Octopus's Garden' is the greatest Beatles tune ever...
Er, pass the frog pills, please.
(FYI - 'Eleanor Rigby' or 'Day in the Life' gets my vote, depending on how I feel.</HTML>
Er, pass the frog pills, please.
(FYI - 'Eleanor Rigby' or 'Day in the Life' gets my vote, depending on how I feel.</HTML>
Re: Appallingly Bad Christmas Punnage...
Posted by: Jon (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: December 16, 2002 08:37PM
<HTML>Do you know, I agree with that totally, with a reserve vote for 'In my Life'.</HTML>
Re: Appallingly Bad Christmas Punnage...
Posted by: Magda (---.dialip.mich.net)
Date: December 18, 2002 04:25AM
<HTML>Here the batman/jingle bells one has 'Robin laid an egg' for the second line. And the more common version of the 3 kings one is:
We three kings of Orient are
Tried to smoke a rubber cigar
It was loaded, and exploded
Now no kings we are.
And now for some complete non-sequeters (since the threads they'd fit in are currently inaccessible without a certain amount of grief).
Another malapropism I spotted yesterday:
'And, exasperating the problem is that the people involved are getting information from people second, third and fourth hand, not directly.'
While I imagine the person writing was, in point of fact, exasperated, I believe the word she was looking for in this context was 'exacerbating'. Ah well, at least she was actually using a 5 syllable word, if not the correct one.
And in the strange website category, I have <a href="http://www.assotron.com/arse-or-elbow/#">this quiz</a> to nominate. For whatever it's worth, I got 13 out of 14 correct.</HTML>
We three kings of Orient are
Tried to smoke a rubber cigar
It was loaded, and exploded
Now no kings we are.
And now for some complete non-sequeters (since the threads they'd fit in are currently inaccessible without a certain amount of grief).
Another malapropism I spotted yesterday:
'And, exasperating the problem is that the people involved are getting information from people second, third and fourth hand, not directly.'
While I imagine the person writing was, in point of fact, exasperated, I believe the word she was looking for in this context was 'exacerbating'. Ah well, at least she was actually using a 5 syllable word, if not the correct one.
And in the strange website category, I have <a href="http://www.assotron.com/arse-or-elbow/#">this quiz</a> to nominate. For whatever it's worth, I got 13 out of 14 correct.</HTML>
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