ThursdayNext : www.jasperfforde.com
A discussion of all things Thursday !
Re: Book jumping
Posted by: Jon (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: January 28, 2003 09:48PM
<HTML>She'd think you are a woman of excellent taste. (And I've seen the pics of your Jon, and she'd be right).</HTML>
Re: Book jumping
Posted by: Jon (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: January 28, 2003 09:49PM
<HTML>She'd think you are a woman of excellent taste. (And I've seen the pics of your Jon, and she'd be right). Btw did you two meet online? Me & Claire did.</HTML>
Re: Book jumping
Posted by: poetscientistdrinker (---.cache.pol.co.uk)
Date: January 28, 2003 09:51PM
<HTML>Gosh, people actually do that? I met one person, decided she scared the bejaysus out of me and gave up.</HTML>
Re: Book jumping
Posted by: poetscientistdrinker (---.cache.pol.co.uk)
Date: January 28, 2003 09:54PM
<HTML>Er, that's the total of all my internet dating. Not my entire life. Although the numbers are similar...</HTML>
Re: Book jumping
Posted by: All-American-Cutie (---.dalect01.va.comcast.net)
Date: January 28, 2003 09:59PM
<HTML>yes, my Jon and I met online...but in a local bulletin board...kinda pre-chat room days, ya know (1995) You actually had to have your modem dial the number directly. Although, Jon was able to telnet in from Chicago.</HTML>
Re: Book jumping
Posted by: Jon (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: January 28, 2003 10:03PM
<HTML>Ah, well, don't give up. I also had the bejesus scared out of me (she turned out to be a 63 year old transexual ... luckily I found this out before meeting occured) and then I met a very nice girl who only lived 2 miles away, and she turned me down like an old bedspread, but before I had a chance to kick the cat I met Claire. Actually I just sent her an e-mail, based on nothing but her profile on AOL, and by rights she should have binned it ... I mean, I could have been anybody .... but for some reason she didn't and here we are. The whole thing was very romantic and slushy, actually.
Meeting people online is really no different to meeting them anywhere else; you get nowhere unless you are honest and genuine, and after a bit you get to work out who else is honest and genuine, and you go from there. Precautions have to be taken, of course, but when do they not? At least this way you diminish the possibility of waking up, rolling over, seeing who you've spent the night with and screaming.
(Although of course there are lots of nasty people online - but none of them are on this fforum. And long may that continue.)</HTML>
Meeting people online is really no different to meeting them anywhere else; you get nowhere unless you are honest and genuine, and after a bit you get to work out who else is honest and genuine, and you go from there. Precautions have to be taken, of course, but when do they not? At least this way you diminish the possibility of waking up, rolling over, seeing who you've spent the night with and screaming.
(Although of course there are lots of nasty people online - but none of them are on this fforum. And long may that continue.)</HTML>
Re: Book jumping
Posted by: poetscientistdrinker (---.cache.pol.co.uk)
Date: January 28, 2003 10:07PM
<HTML>That's what you think...
Mind you, the worst I can imagine any of the people here doing is writing notes in the margin. In pencil. Very lightly. And them rubbing them out so there's no trace. And then handing them back to the library before being charged for the book being overdue.</HTML>
Mind you, the worst I can imagine any of the people here doing is writing notes in the margin. In pencil. Very lightly. And them rubbing them out so there's no trace. And then handing them back to the library before being charged for the book being overdue.</HTML>
Re: Book jumping
Posted by: Jon (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: January 28, 2003 10:11PM
<HTML>Further thoughts on online dating, and picking up on Twila's Eye Candy remarks, dating online is actually a good way to get behind all that crap and get to know the real person without the pheromones kicking in and warping your judgement. And for people who are interested in things other than mass culture the internet is the greatest thing; at last a way to find others of like mind. Imagine being the only gay person in some little village miles from anywhere, and then pow! along comes the internet and suddenly your life is a whole lot better! Of course this facility is abused, but freedom is always abused; that isn't a reason to curtail freedom, but it is a reason to curtail the abusers. The price of freedom is eternal vigilance, as somebody or another once said.</HTML>
margin notes
Posted by: dave (---.in-addr.btopenworld.com)
Date: January 28, 2003 10:14PM
<HTML>once when I worked in a public library I was given the job of rubbing out some copious notes made by a reader in the margins of a book on fishing. The dear reader seemed to have taken offence to virtually every comment made by the author (no, you can't use a 2lb line on trout in scotland! what are you thinking? etc). It was truly wonderful to see that someone had actually taken the time and effort to do such a thing. Needless to say, the Librarian took a Very Dim View of such things....</HTML>
Re: Book jumping
Posted by: All-American-Cutie (---.dalect01.va.comcast.net)
Date: January 28, 2003 10:16PM
<HTML>PSD, yep, there are people out there that can scare the "bejaysus" out of anyone. I did meet one guy who instantly decided he was in love with me and wanted to leave his wife and get married right away. Of course, I didn't know he was married until we met in person and he was kinda scary. Guess it's a good thing we met in a very public place and he had no idea where I lived cuz I met him in another state!
I know that this other guy did figure out where I worked and I know he came through a couple of times but never revealed who he was. I just know it. Kinda like when you know people are watching...
But when I met Jon, we just clicked. And the funny thing is that when I saw him online the first time, he was ripping one of my other online-buddies a new bunghole. So I let him have it...just blasted him for being so rude! "Where do you get off!" etc. And then he got logged off by one of the sysops (guys who monitor the board) and I asked around, wondering what had crawled up his butt and died. One of the other gals on the board said he was actually a really nice guy in person and that it was only his online persona that was so annoying. It was his attempt to be funny. So I made it my mission to figure out what made him tick.
Everytime he'd log on, I'd barrage him with endless questions. Partly because I was curious and partly because I wanted to keep him busy so he didn't bug other people...purely humanitarian! Well, we got to talking and decided about a month later that we should try to meet up when he was in town and so we did and we've been together ever since. (Been married 5.5 years now!)
So, be open to new experiences, they can really pay off in the long run! (just be cautious in how you go about it!)</HTML>
I know that this other guy did figure out where I worked and I know he came through a couple of times but never revealed who he was. I just know it. Kinda like when you know people are watching...
But when I met Jon, we just clicked. And the funny thing is that when I saw him online the first time, he was ripping one of my other online-buddies a new bunghole. So I let him have it...just blasted him for being so rude! "Where do you get off!" etc. And then he got logged off by one of the sysops (guys who monitor the board) and I asked around, wondering what had crawled up his butt and died. One of the other gals on the board said he was actually a really nice guy in person and that it was only his online persona that was so annoying. It was his attempt to be funny. So I made it my mission to figure out what made him tick.
Everytime he'd log on, I'd barrage him with endless questions. Partly because I was curious and partly because I wanted to keep him busy so he didn't bug other people...purely humanitarian! Well, we got to talking and decided about a month later that we should try to meet up when he was in town and so we did and we've been together ever since. (Been married 5.5 years now!)
So, be open to new experiences, they can really pay off in the long run! (just be cautious in how you go about it!)</HTML>
Re: Book jumping
Posted by: fuzz (---.cableinet.co.uk)
Date: January 28, 2003 10:25PM
<HTML>Well, I've not been brave enough to try online dating but I am having a similar experiance at the moment. You see, it turns out I'm now dating this girl who's at uni in Leeds (hmm, more small world things cropping up now perhaps?), which as some of you know is quite a way away from Exeter. We had a couple of dates back when we were both in Cheltenham back at christmas, but since then we've not had a chance to meet up. Instead we've been spending increasingly long periods of time on the phone, and Jon's right, we've got to know each other so well in just a month, in a way which would have been very difficult if we'd been able to see each other, hmm, I'm rambling but I think you get the idea.
Fourtunatly though she's coming down to see me on friday, *yay*. so expect my number of posts to drop to zero over the weekend :~)
Course I've still got to get through two more exams this week first, *boo hiss* Speaking of which I really ought to be revising now....</HTML>
Fourtunatly though she's coming down to see me on friday, *yay*. so expect my number of posts to drop to zero over the weekend :~)
Course I've still got to get through two more exams this week first, *boo hiss* Speaking of which I really ought to be revising now....</HTML>
Re: Book jumping
Posted by: All-American-Cutie (---.dalect01.va.comcast.net)
Date: January 28, 2003 10:28PM
<HTML>Jon, you're absolutely correct about the eye candy factor not getting in the way with internet chat-ups. And it is absolutely essential to be honest. Because if you're not and you meet and decide to date, they're gonna find out anyway, get upset and leave. And you would have wasted all that time when you could have been having a good relationship with someone real!
I mean, gosh, at the time, I was not the greatest catch, but I told the truth....I had been living with my work-a-holic/never home fiancee of 3 years, and I was in the process of breaking up with him (waiting til after xmas, etc) and told Jon all about it and he still wanted to meet me. Some other people from the bulletin board who had met me warned him off of me because of the "complications" but because I had told the truth and had been honest about everything else, he still wanted to get together. So I applaud him for persevering! (Oh, and even after I broke it off with the ex, we still had to live together for another 3 months...in separate rooms because of the lease, the inability to sublet and the financial strain that would have come from paying rent at 3 apartments. And Jon was okay with that...they even met at our apartment several times and actually got on quite well...now THAT was surreal!)
In fact, their first meeting was rather like a bad Coke commercial. (Jon's a Coke drinker and the Ex was a die-hard Pepsi drinker) Jon comes in the apartment with me holding a Coke, the Ex walks out of the kitchen with a Pepsi in his hand. Jon says, "Hi Dork" (he called everyone dork...bad habit, I know) The Ex says, "Hi, you must be Jon. Be nice to her." I told you....surreal!</HTML>
I mean, gosh, at the time, I was not the greatest catch, but I told the truth....I had been living with my work-a-holic/never home fiancee of 3 years, and I was in the process of breaking up with him (waiting til after xmas, etc) and told Jon all about it and he still wanted to meet me. Some other people from the bulletin board who had met me warned him off of me because of the "complications" but because I had told the truth and had been honest about everything else, he still wanted to get together. So I applaud him for persevering! (Oh, and even after I broke it off with the ex, we still had to live together for another 3 months...in separate rooms because of the lease, the inability to sublet and the financial strain that would have come from paying rent at 3 apartments. And Jon was okay with that...they even met at our apartment several times and actually got on quite well...now THAT was surreal!)
In fact, their first meeting was rather like a bad Coke commercial. (Jon's a Coke drinker and the Ex was a die-hard Pepsi drinker) Jon comes in the apartment with me holding a Coke, the Ex walks out of the kitchen with a Pepsi in his hand. Jon says, "Hi Dork" (he called everyone dork...bad habit, I know) The Ex says, "Hi, you must be Jon. Be nice to her." I told you....surreal!</HTML>
Re: Book jumping
Posted by: Rob (---.leeds.ac.uk)
Date: January 29, 2003 10:20AM
<HTML>PSD: I think our problem must be that we're such excellent eye-candy
that no one's yet realised what excellent, witty, generous, all round
good eggs we really are...
Well, that's my delusion and I'm sticking to it.
I did once meet up with someone I'd only met in cyberspace before and
it worked well for a couple of months. She was a bit weird but I knew that
(she was an acquaintence of a friend who lived in London). It was fun
but the distance did for us (among other things).
It's like all life (certainly relationships), calculated risks. There are no
certainties. I went out with someone for 7 years, we bought a house
together, were going to get married, the full works, then she walked
out and I was left in a real mess.</HTML>
that no one's yet realised what excellent, witty, generous, all round
good eggs we really are...
Well, that's my delusion and I'm sticking to it.
I did once meet up with someone I'd only met in cyberspace before and
it worked well for a couple of months. She was a bit weird but I knew that
(she was an acquaintence of a friend who lived in London). It was fun
but the distance did for us (among other things).
It's like all life (certainly relationships), calculated risks. There are no
certainties. I went out with someone for 7 years, we bought a house
together, were going to get married, the full works, then she walked
out and I was left in a real mess.</HTML>
Re: Book jumping
Posted by: Carla (198.179.227.---)
Date: January 29, 2003 11:58AM
<HTML>I met my boyfriend online...
And most of my friends... and my housemate...
Sure beats going to a pub and trying to pull</HTML>
And most of my friends... and my housemate...
Sure beats going to a pub and trying to pull</HTML>
Re: Book jumping
Posted by: Ooktavia (---.in-addr.btopenworld.com)
Date: January 29, 2003 07:41PM
<HTML>Not-Boyfriend- I knew he wasn't my boyfreind, he knew he wasn't my boyfreind, but if you spend more than 1.5 mins of time together with someone of the opposite sex once you are both over the age of 6 (we were 17-ish), everyone else thinks you are a couple designed to marry/be the butt of bad jokes forevermore.
Possibly he would have liked to be a boyfreind, however I am the girl who was told she was too ugly to be a skimpy. (that's a bikini-clad lass who serves men drinks in bars in Australia).
Also I suspect he had closet issues to address.
So I think it less than likely. He was pretty short sighted though. ;-)
Mind you, my 3rd boyfriend and I had the oddest "How we met" story. Involving Milenium Eve, the Piccadilly branch of Waterstone's and, bizarrely, featuring a cameo appreance of Salman Rushdie. I am not making this up.</HTML>
Possibly he would have liked to be a boyfreind, however I am the girl who was told she was too ugly to be a skimpy. (that's a bikini-clad lass who serves men drinks in bars in Australia).
Also I suspect he had closet issues to address.
So I think it less than likely. He was pretty short sighted though. ;-)
Mind you, my 3rd boyfriend and I had the oddest "How we met" story. Involving Milenium Eve, the Piccadilly branch of Waterstone's and, bizarrely, featuring a cameo appreance of Salman Rushdie. I am not making this up.</HTML>
Re: Book jumping
Posted by: Jon (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: January 29, 2003 08:17PM
<HTML>You can't just tantalise us with a throwaway summary like that! We demand details!</HTML>
Internet dating
Posted by: Sarah (---.vip.uk.com)
Date: January 29, 2003 10:52PM
<HTML>H'mm. Well, I've tried it, and so far I've managed to meet several chaps who <i>thought</i> they were intelligent, a number of Americans who are out of consideration because of the distance but have had a go anyway, and one sweet little Welsh chap who makes a very good friend but I have my doubts about him as anything more. But I do agree that it's no more risky than any other way of meeting people, and I couldn't agree more about being honest.
David, on the other hand, doesn't seem very enthusiastic about the idea, which is rather a pity because I am extremely keen to see him married again. Are there any single women out there who might be interested in a highly intelligent, kind, generous, but rather noisy gentleman in his early forties? (You can find his picture via the "Christmas noodle pictures" post.)
As for me... well, I'm still looking. As they say in small ads, cat lover essential!</HTML>
David, on the other hand, doesn't seem very enthusiastic about the idea, which is rather a pity because I am extremely keen to see him married again. Are there any single women out there who might be interested in a highly intelligent, kind, generous, but rather noisy gentleman in his early forties? (You can find his picture via the "Christmas noodle pictures" post.)
As for me... well, I'm still looking. As they say in small ads, cat lover essential!</HTML>
Re: Internet dating
Posted by: poetscientistdrinker (---.cache.pol.co.uk)
Date: January 29, 2003 11:05PM
<HTML>I can't better Ook's list, although I was introduced to my first real girlfriend by being handcuffed to her. No, really. And then my 'best' friend lost the key...
I'm stil not convinced by internet dating - (although anyone who knows anyone aged 20 - 25, book lover, into climbing and random conversation; feel free to give them my email address) - but I was trying to chat somebody up today 6 metres up a climbing wall. This would have been more impressive had she not been hanging very calmly by a solitary finger while I, attached by all four limbs, contrived to fall off...</HTML>
I'm stil not convinced by internet dating - (although anyone who knows anyone aged 20 - 25, book lover, into climbing and random conversation; feel free to give them my email address) - but I was trying to chat somebody up today 6 metres up a climbing wall. This would have been more impressive had she not been hanging very calmly by a solitary finger while I, attached by all four limbs, contrived to fall off...</HTML>
Re: Internet dating
Posted by: All-American-Cutie (---.dalect01.va.comcast.net)
Date: January 30, 2003 12:12AM
<HTML>she could have construed that as a compliment to her...you were so mesmerized by her that you lost your grip...
(just trying to be helpful!)</HTML>
(just trying to be helpful!)</HTML>
Re: Internet dating
Posted by: Rob (---.leeds.ac.uk)
Date: January 30, 2003 11:07AM
<HTML>PSD: I think I'm with you on this score. I prefer chatting to people face-to-face.
It is easier to lie and put on a false persona in chatrooms than halfway up a
climbing wall...</HTML>
It is easier to lie and put on a false persona in chatrooms than halfway up a
climbing wall...</HTML>
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