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Fw from Jules and Sandy
Posted by: jon brierley (
Date: September 15, 2002 10:40PM

<HTML>I have recieved the following communicaton, which puzzles me sorely;

Hello, I'm Jules and this is my friend Sandy, and may we say, Mr. Fforde, how bona it is to read your oeuvre, because we like a good vada at an oeuvre, don't we Sand? Every time we see your dolly old eek on the back of a book, we know we are in for a treat of a read. Mind you, its not our normal cup of tea, no, we tend to go more for the smoulderin', you know, Byronic types with really dark riah and big biceps, smoulderin'. We quite liked that Mr Rochester, butch he was, and wasted on that Eyre palone of you ask us. And that Thursday Next...well, she's all right, but she don't do much in the way of dressin' up, does she? I mean what's the point of having a heroine if she don't get dragged up now and then, get out a bit, go to a ball. Sand always says you can never have too many balls in literature, but then he always did go for the haute monde (that's your actual French).

We been thinkin' about having a go at writing ourselves, because we've been around a bit, me and Sand have, and we've observed great events. Not exactly from the inside, if you know what I mean...we've seen things more from the rim, really. But even at that distance we could tell you some stories, couldn't we Sand, oh yes, we seen things that would have you reaching for your entroposcope in disbelief, but we'll have to check the legals before we publish...we've dabbled in law ourselves, you know (we used to have this criminal practice that took up a lot of our time) so we know the importance of the legals.

But anyway, Mr. Fforde, why we was writin' was to ask youself, as a bona provider of reading matter and clearly a man with an eye for a good title, what should we call our masterworkette? We're stuck, we are, on the horns of a dilemma, so Sand says, and he should know, it not being the first time he's been stuck on a horn, because I think we should call it The Palare Effect, and have it all in big butch writing on the cover, with the A in the crosshairs of a gunsight, you know the sort of thing, but Sand goes more for the Aubrey Beardsley look, and wants to call it The Green Omipalone Book, as a sort of hommage sort of thing. Either way we're not sure it would sell, so if yourself or any of the good omis and palones who contribute to your bona little site could think of some better titles for us, me and Sand would be ever so would make our eeks shine with delight, it would.

Anyway, we've taken up enough of your precious time, so we'll just wave our lallies and say goodbye,

Jules and Sand

And if anybody can explain what any of the above is about I'm sure we'd all be very enlightened.</HTML>

Re: Fw from Jules and Sandy
Posted by: poet the hell? (
Date: September 15, 2002 11:29PM

<HTML>No idea, I really have no idea. Possibly the after effects of a Cockney version of suicider (or 'Scrumpy' to its Mother)? See the Shakespeare Theory thread for more on weird English inbred dialects.

Obviously they can't really be writing an airport-type McNasty SAS thriller, because they're semi-literate, and I daren't ask what horn they got stuck on.

Maybe this is a fertile new genre developing - 'I'm Dick van Dyke... Get me out of here!'</HTML>

Re: Fw from Jules and Sandy
Posted by: dave (
Date: September 16, 2002 12:33PM

<HTML>I'm more intrigued as to how Mr Brierley managed to get hold of Mr Fforde's post.

Is he SpecOps?</HTML>

Re: Fw from Jules and Sandy
Posted by: jon brierley (
Date: September 16, 2002 02:21PM

<HTML>Information as to SpecOps operatives is OF COURSE classified so I couldn't speculate as to the identities secret or otherwise of their operatives, but I should think both Julian and Sandy would be very insulted at being described as semi-literate...they were in publishing themselves once....see Bona Books at for more fantabulosa details.

And if anyone is wondering as to the relevance of all this,

might give you a clue.

Jon, alias the five o'clock shadow</HTML>

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