Wanted: entity that eats paperwork. Good home, endless supply of wood pulp-based paper lavishly spiced with curriculum.

<Offers use of Centrelink's Filing Cabinet of DOOOOOOOOM, in which all paperwork mysteriously disappears/evaporates/is teleported to plug small black holes under Geneva

Darn. I thought that was what the Large Hadron Collider was designed for!

Well, I think maybe I should actually *file* things... could be fun having a paperwprk eater for a pet though!

Having worked at the black hole interface at Centrelink I can advise that they do not leave this Universe for eternity - just long enough for the Centrelink customer and department to lose all reference to the matter at hand so there is extra work and an unsatisfactory result for everyone, then these records reappear in a slightly modified form when a Parliamentary enquiry is called into the mess.

I had a similar experience in 1970 trying to show how the agreement between the Commonwealth, as it then was, and the states concerning payment for pharmaceutical drugs supplied in public hospitals was reached. I found exactly three pages to justify the Commonwealths expenditure of $90 million per year, and I had to exhume every relevant file from Archives and read the lot. Later we found that the Deputy Director of Health had done the negotiations and had not bothered to document discussions except in a private file which showed up two years later.

This is how the Government suppresses all the reports on alien landings. They put an incompetent in charge and the details disappear into the departmental filing system with any relevant reference completely ignored. So, 'aliens, Mars, from, intending to take over the earth', gets filed as: confectionery, increased sales, expected effects on population'.

Ah, this also explains Gordon Brown, who hasn't been mentioned here in a while.

Gordon Brown, Gordon Brown, Gordon Gordon Gordon Brown.

I'm sure that there was a "Gordon" version of this piece of Earworm on Youtube by the Stranglers. Still a pretty cool music video.

Gordon Brown texture like sun?

Seems unlikely somehow

I could do with something willing to write my tests for me, must get adequate marks (above 60%).

__________________________________
'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

You could train a camel. They're brilliant at mathematics.

Doubt that I can get one that will be able to emulate my handwriting.

__________________________________
'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

i think egons been reading a bit of pratchett

Pyramids, probably

Oh, I thought they were Penguins.

No, those were puffins. The Penguins are in the other treehouse.

Brazilian puffins?

Ecuadorian, actually. The Brazilian geese are in the poultry yard, next to the aardvarks.

Are there coypu there as well - oh sorry I just saw that the Brazillian Beavers have infested other threads. the dam things get everywhere!

Aha! Those naughty birds!

<suddenly twigs to Cannibal's pun, and sticks it in log of puns without match>