Don't get BK started on chocolate-coated filmstars.

Mat Dime-on?

Okay... How about the actors in Grocery Wars *insert question mark here, as alien keyboard refuses normality*
I liked the cucumber one!

Interesting! <takes notes>
Shall we talk about your childhood?

I find it surprising that NO ONE in this thread has mentioned a literary classic.

The reason I love Jasper Fforde is that he puts so many allusions to literary works in his books. Obviously the rest of you love for a different reason, but anyhow...this thread wouldn't even exist here if it weren't for all the allusions...such as the talking teddy bear in WOLP.

How about an Oliver Twist where Fagin adopts Oliver and then Oliver is kidnapped by the evil Mr. Brownlow, and Nancy, a teenager who has a pedophiliac crush on the boy, goes to his rescue? And then Oliver asks for some more gruel but Mr. Brownlow refuses to give it to him...

Or Quasimodo becomes blind and drinks a potion which turns him into Frankenstein's monster, and he wrecks havoc even though he's blind and deaf?

How about Nichoolas Cage playing Dracula, only Dracula has to save a village that has survived a nuclear holocaust, and The Time Traveler walks in and brings everybody a new invention a hundred years after the holocaust--electricity!

Hi Hunchback. i think you need to re-check the thread. A few literary classics have been mentioned, but as is usual around here we headed off-topic fairly quickly.

I do take slight exception to your suggestion that the rest of us don't appreciate JFf's allusions to literary works, I think that most of us here were first drawn to his books because of these.

Has anybody in the literary references camp tried Kafka's Soup?
"A complete history of Literature in 17 recipes"
From Onion Tart a la Geoffrey Chaucer to Cheese on Toast a la Harold Pinter.

How about Alan Bennett's monologues by Keanu Reaves - Bogus dude!

I've just read Compton Mackenzie's 'Water on the Brain' and apart from a weak ending it is a brilliant saqtire, sorry, satire on the spy industry.

I think it would make a brilliant screenplay as it has sections that predate the script of Fawlty Towers and some other now cliched items. Much better than James Bond.

If someone does decide to use it as a base for a screenplay, apart from giving me credit for mentioning it, a new modified ending will be required.

I've also just finished 'Ossian's Ride' written in 1959 by Fred Hoyle [he of the 'steady state theory' and 'The black Cloud'] which is an alternate future story. It moves along quite well but I can't make the jump in concept that the hero makes. Anyone else read it and any comments?

This is all suspiciously on-topic at the moment...
Personally, I'd like to see Thomas the Tank Engine done. I'm thinking Michael Bay could do it justice.

Bonzai Kitten Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This is all suspiciously on-topic at the
> moment...
> Personally, I'd like to see Thomas the Tank Engine
> done. I'm thinking Michael Bay could do it
> justice.


What's with all these people online naming themselves Bonzai? The only Bonzai I know is a hyena in The Lion King, and I doubt that's what you're named after.

<looks shocked> All are named After Kitten of course!

I can only find 1 Bonzai around here. That is enough, of course
<looks around nervously>

P.S. Hunchback, you may want to look up the meaning of Bonzai (also bonsai and banzai?) either in wikipedia or a decent dictionary.

Somewhere there is a thread dedicated to my choice of online handle.
Probably worth a search if you are that interested.

<awaits the usual PETA flaming>

<despite woeful ignorance as to its nature, issues a PETA flaming>

Offers ES fur coat to get him better acquainted with incandescent PETA members. Films event and turns into Summer Blockbuster.

On second thoughts I think I'll just leave the PETA thing alone and go wandering in my volatile hydrogen balloon instead.

A couple of weeks ago PETA announced that fish should be called 'sea kittens' (to dissuade people from eating fish).

That's suspiciously (fishily) close to Bonsea Kitten - in French and PETAesque equating to 'good fish'.

The Lion King character's name (Banzai- voiced by Cheech Marin), on the other hand is Swahili for 'lurk' and Japanese for 'ten thousand years'.

No 'good fish' (worth its salt) will lurk around for 10,000 years.

Hence: the movie and our Kitten are unrelated. I rest my case.

<decides this is a compliment.>

Calling fish "fish" is enough to dissuade little Gegs from eating fish.
Will try calling fish "sea kittens" as will probably persuade them to try it - at least once.