Dried-on Polyfilla makes an excellent kitchen sink scourer (but only on surfaces NOT labelled: Do Not Use Scouring Agents)

To make a quick inexpensive book binding for a paperback put all the pages together in line and paint the spine side with Selley's Aquadhere. Its a wood glue for those who don't get Selley's products. It holds pretty well and if you don't loan your books it will last for years, and the bookworms don't seem to eat it.

Sodium bicarbonate makes an excellent deodorant for everything including people, clothing and kitchen. I haven't tried this on the possums though it is tempting!

Why would you want sweat-smelling self-raising possums?

Self-raising possums, hmm ...

< has quick vision of Dame Edna Everage out of drag, realises she really IS a man under all that makeup, but probably doesn't have much time to form close relationships>

tip #4

A spoonful of 'coffee' in a cup of boiling water makes a quick and refreshing beverage.

Don't worry about finding food that's growing whiskers in the fridge. It's only a health risk if it nicks your razor and starts shaving with it.

And here's me thinking that Whiskers came in cans.

Nah, that's foreign films. (Also often seen growing whiskers, incidentally, especially if you hail from Sweden)

Tip 5
Removing glasses makes house instantly tidier and cleaner.

Turning the lights out or keeping the curtains closed is a good version for those without glasses.

Buy a house somewhere where it snows a lot. That way, once the dense undergrowth has died back and you can no longer pass it off as a 'nature garden,' it still looks as neat as everyone else's.

Flicking metholated spirits on attacking huntsman spiders is a very effective deterrent, and kinda horrible to watch.

A kitchen blowtorch makes a @#$%& effective headlouse remover if your kids are helping you make creme brulee.

Salad servers make a useful addition to your poo-patrol armoury, if you have a small dog (and a dislike of rabbit food).

Spraying hairspray onto flies will glue their wings together-
if you use an aerosol can & add a lighter, this will make an effective blowtorch...

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<Really? When I tried it with deodorant, it was pretty pathetic. And stupid and dangerous, of course.>

The lint from the clothes dryer filter can be collected, mixed with water and shaped to make interesting ornaments for the home. When they dry out they can be reshaped into something completely different so that your decor is constantly changing. Brush on a little bondcrete if you want a particularly desirable one to retain its shape.

(to avoid disappointment, do not bring any of the blowtorches described in previous postings too close to your creations)

Make interesting 'string pictures' on your kitchen wall by tripping over a kid's discarded roller skate whilst carrying a full pan of cooked spaghetti. Next ...

My wife found a useful way of immobilising big hairy spiders: Spray with hair spray until they are glued to carpet then beat to a pulp with the can.

She did this in Wimbledon many years ago. 4711 hairsprayed the poor bugger to the carpet then mashed it. Left the result until I came home from work.

Now she uses the 'distaff method': disturb other half and request either removal or pulping. Big spiders that can be manoeuvered into a jar/icecream container/margarine container get extended life opportunities. Small ones all look black and are smeared. The smearing eventually dries and will vaccuum out but at the end of summer you can make a leg count and divide by about 6 andd a half to determine how many kills you have made.