It could have been worse:
I say, God looks like he needs a haircut this week...

Lace making is normally referred to as tatting isn;t it?

Jolly good Jaffa Cakes, eh wot!

Would someone mind passing the lamingtons.

"I say, we appear to have somebody here from the colonies, how terribly exotic."

To save you further embarrassment I feel I must point out that tattting is a terribly low form of lace making - and not the sort of subject we would normally introduce into the parlour.

Are you not confusing tatting with tattooing?

Feel certain that had you not know that Lord Skidmarks was out of the Parish for a couple of days you would never have dared mention that word. On which subject, does anybody know where Offline is? Can't say I've ever heard of it.

Offline isn't the next suburb over from "off the rails" is it?

When I visit the 'Old Country' I often heard the remark: 'By Jove, the natives ARE revolting'.

Of course, this was in Maggot Hatcher's day.

The good lady mrs. SkidMarks and I were Offline in London. We were off both the Central Line and later the Portsmouth line.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/11/2009 09:39AM by SkidMarks.

Bed bugs are reportedly spreading Westwards from the East End of London by use of the central line,

Oh, really? Perhaps that's why the number of zombies in the area seems to be steadily increasing. So uncouth- and they can't make a cup of tea properly, I can tell you that.

ok grouping a bunch of words together with little to no coherence that happen to not include the letter "e" is, while difficult, not a tremendous accomplishment in terms of trying to write a novel. as as been said above a novel requires 3 things: coherence, plot, and coherence. now, don't attack me, i have only read the sample chapter so this trolling is not entirely complete, however in this, its intial stage, i can describe the "novel" (not as in new but as in like a novel) part of the novel in two words EPIC FAIL. phew, nothing like a good rant to get a firing off your chest

Welcome, sprinterash. I know that this is your second post, but it would be a waste of time inviting you to Nextian when you had already found you way here.

Help yourself to pie. Sweet to the left, savoury somewhere else. There are also cakes and drinks around somewhere, but I suggest you avoid the chocolate cake as you already seem a little excitable. I think I agree with you though. Having read the sample I am not tempted to seek out the book.

I'm psyching myself up to attempt Finnegans Wake again, so it might me good practice for me to get it.

I think I have my answer re the Fforum's opinion on This Sort Of Thing In General. However, I have to agree with sprinterash re this particular example - on the face of it, Epic Fail. I can only repeat that there are coherent, readable examples out there too.

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work is a vampire that sucks me dry
which is a metaphor
but still the reason I stuck a chair leg through my manager