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OK, it's been done before and I know it's corny, but I couldn't resist posting this, which was translated for my non-German-speaking father by a piece of software:
Good day!
We greet you quite heartily. There is to your Amazon.de-Bestellung News.
We could not cover as intended the below standing article unfortunately. Please still have some patience. At present, we assume it, him/it in this, to get next 3-5 weeks.
We hold her/its/their order upright. As soon as the ware arrives with us, she/it becomes immediately sent at you. With the delivery, you become from us once again per e-mail informed. We also would report, however, if a reference no more possible would be.
If the wait becomes for you too long, you also can over "think online Account" on our website cancels. Please excuse the postponement.
<snip - order details>
We like to be with queries for you there always. We thank for your Visit!
Actually, I'm impressed by how well the software's done; it may look silly, but it does actually convey the sense of the e-mail without ambiguity. Which for a literal word-for-word translation retaining German word-order strikes me as a result.
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I am very interested in the Universe. I am specialising in the Universe and everything surrounding it. - E. L. Wisty