I rang to find out what colour mammoths were on sale, but their stock of mammoths was very like cheese in a Python Cheese Shop. I also discovered that half-mammoths are sold only in pairs. I feel very let down.

This mammoth sale. Do you fasten it between their tusks? How fast does it make them move?

Depends if you hollow them out first or not. Not much call for Mammoth hollowers these days, but you could probably get an elephant hollower to give it a go. Now - if only we knew one....

Why would you need a sale, anyway? Moths have wings, both ma'am-moths and sir-moths!

I think we've fallen into the (mammoth) trap of thinking mammoths have not evolved. This particular line of mammoths, living as they do in a coastal region, no longer need sails as they have evolved outboard motors.

Unless of course they only have green mammoths left, in which case you'll have to use a renewable energy source.

Actually, we do have a small problem of lost cows around here. One got out, and was in the curve of a road, and took out my sister-in-law's car windshield. With her jaw. The cow was fine (presumably had a headache). Major damage to the car.

Perhaps that is why they hide on the top floor, no cars up there.

If anyone sees a purple mammoth, please let me know? The fence is down again.

Would large ears count as sales? They must catch a fair amount of wind.

<ignores obvious comment, but sniggers>

I don't think that a mammoth would have its ears between its tusks.

There's something that the whole world fears,
Not wind that's caught by mammoth ears,
But wind that comes from mammoth rears.

Is this fart joke that here appears
The first put here in all these years?

<feels very moved, bursts out in tears>

I haven't been a member long
Forgive me if I get this wrong.
Mammoth windbreaks don't half pong!

When it comes to rhymes involving fart
I thought only boys could think it art

Then mrswildthing comes along
and proves to me, I'm sometimes wrong.

"Do anything interesting last night?"

"Yes, I logged on to a book discussion fforum full of erudite and witty people, where we discussed mammoth farts, in doggerel."

"More tea, dear?"

Dear Geg, I am a mum to boys
And so familiar with the noise
Of winds that rattle wood and glass
As they escape from someone's ..............

Sorry, can't think of a rhyming word to fit there!

Brass? (wind instrument)

Of course - both my sons play trombone and my husband plays the cornet.

Ffiona

I come from Wales where it isn't ALWAYS raining.

As someone from Wales I would dispute that it always rains. What about the blizzards?

Indeed - but in the bottom left hand corner on the coast where I am blizzards are few and far between. But it is true that if you can't see the mountains it is raining, if you can see them, it's going to rain.

Have you tried getting some wind to blow the clouds away?