Opening sentences that destroy their novels

Examples: Black Beauty

The first place that I remember was a large and pleasant abbatoir

A Tale of Two Cities

It was the best of times and the French peasants had never had it so good


My offering: Pride and Prejudice

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be gay.

Eats, Shoots and Leaves

Error's in grammer, spelling and punctuation is bad : and orta be stopped. LOL ROFLCPTER

You made I laugh Eoink

Rebecca.

"Last night my husband and I went to Manderley again."

The Eyre Affair

"My father had a hand that could stop a clock."

Moby Dick.

"Call me Ishy-Wishy."

Harry Potter - the complete series "Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud that Harry showed so much promise."

or

The Hobbit - In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit and he stayed there.

or

The war of the Worlds - No-one would have believed in the last years of the nineteenth century that we would finally eliminate the common cold.


(small typo corrected - others left to fester.)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/26/2012 12:59PM by SkidMarks.

Moby Dick

Call me fishmeal

Squire Trelawney, Dr Livesey, and the rest of these gentlemen having asked me to write down the whole particulars about Treasure I sland, can all take a running jump!

I'm glad I cleared up that minor documentation error thought Joseph K.- The Trial

Rhubarb, rhubarb burning bright

In the forests of the night ( William Blake)

Hello Dr Beeching - Thomas the Tank Engine

Scrooge was recovering from giving succour to the poor all day when Marley Knocked at the door.

Eoink Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm glad I cleared up that minor documentation
> error thought Joseph K.- The Trial


My name's Joseph Karl. Exactly which minor bit of documentation did I clear up?

You'll have to file a request for disclosure with the magistrate to find that out.

mycroftstwin Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Eoink Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I'm glad I cleared up that minor documentation
> > error thought Joseph K.- The Trial
>
>
> My name's Joseph Karl. Exactly which minor bit of
> documentation did I clear up?

PH, does that count as a confession?

No, that was legal advice, which is of course just the opposite.

There was no beginning, and everywhere there was light.


....the Judeo/Christian religious tracts

Then somebody said "I'm going to start turning these switches off"


Is there anybody there said the traveller, knocking on the moonlit door

Surprise, Surprise yelled many voices from within.

"There's something odd about this calamari"- Call of Cthulhu