I have an Alphabet book. It begins so:

A for 'orses

B for mutton

C for miles...etc etc etc

S for me I can't make head or tail of it

Has anybody got other examples

orses eat 'ay
I choose the beef
I can see very far

R for mo Skiddy

I did really know what it meant. I wondered if anybody had some better egg samples.

eg P for comfort !

Bleedin' heck.

As a kiddy, I listened to my Dad's 78 record of Clapham & Dwyer's "A Surrealist Alphabet" on an HMV hand-cranked wind-up gramophone. I've just mentally run through the whole alphabet and remembered them all, yet just now I can't recall what I had for breakfast.

Here's a transcript.

I think they got these wrong:

H for respect (Have respect)
I remember that as "Age for respect" (respect your elders.)

P for relief (Pee for relief)
I remember that as "P for a penny" (Do pay toilets still exist?)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/16/2012 11:22PM by MistyCat.

Talking of money, R for sixpence is better than R for penny!

(Pay toilets do still exist.)

Pay toilets. Goodness me! !s that an A for ism, like "you always find something in the last place you look."

Actually the last time I paid I definitely did'nt get my money's worth.

PrinzHilde, did you notice the names of those four toilet designs? The first one was OK, a toilet named City Toilet Intelligent Series seems safe. The next, City Toilet Avenue, implies just a bit too much traffic for my liking. The third's a bit of a worry, City Toilet Challenge. I don't like a challenge when I go to the toilet, I like to feel that I'm easily capable of all the necessary actions and ...ahh... motions. Within my Comfort Zone, as it were.

Toilet number 4, the City Toilet Campo 2=1
Hmmm. I think I'll hold it until I get home.

I do apologize for my toilet humour.

I noticed also they make four kinds of bench, the first being the Bench Intelligent Series Basic.

Questions arise.

Why do I need my bench to be intelligent, and if I do, why should I settle for (or on) just a Basic intelligence?
What happens when the bench gets older (I believe that one Human Year equals nine Bench Years), senility sets in and the bench is unable to support itself or its burdens?

Much to ponder.

MistyCat Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The next, City Toilet Avenue, implies just a bit
> too much traffic for my liking.

Incidentally, one of this line is standing just at my local tram station - around 10.000 passengers, 10.000 pedestrians crossing the street at that corner and 50.000 passing cars per day, I would say.

Or did you think about another kind of traffic? Wall has erected around 100 toilets from this model line around Berlin. One of their best-known features is that if you pay your one (I think) Euro, the door will close behind you for a maximum of 20 minutes before being compulsory opened again. Now, use your imagination what could be done in a reasonable ample and clean room that you can rent anonymously and @#$%&low-priced during such a time span...

I never saw a bench from the "Intelligent Series" in public. Maybe that's what is meant: they are clever enough to avoid being sat on and to get out of the rain.


Edit: hey, I just entered the word c h e a p, but in its place "@#$%&" shows up! What is that?

Edit2: Just looked up some traffic numbers. Holy cow! That is a lot of cars for an inner city street. (Corner Osloer Straße and Prinzenallee)



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/18/2012 12:06PM by PrinzHilde.

It's a c h e a p anti-spam precaution. Someone may know more detail and perhaps more tainted words. This search...

site:[www.jasperfforde.com] @#$%&

...gets about 2,120 results.

That was an actual typed ampersand octothorpe dollar percent ampersand.

Boys are silly!!!

Nyah!!! Girls are sillier!!!!

OK ...so silly girls are sillier than boys but all boys are "s" for daft

Do you have proof?

I have proof.

Should I show you my proof?

I'll show you mine if you show me yours.

I laid mine aside aeons ago and now cannot remember where it is , what it's for and whether it will need servicing when I do find it!

I for Got alphabetically speaking.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

I remember the old:
A for Apples
B for mutton
C for yourself
D for ential
E for brick
F for vescence
G for police
H for oranges
J for cake
I for evans
K for ????
L for leather
M for sis
N for ?????
O for the garden wall
P for ????
Q for bus
R for mo
S for ???
T for two
U for ????
V for victory
X for breakfast
Y for the love of mike
Z for ????


OK, so I partly remember these.

Any other versions will be read with interest and an "s" for satisfaction.

Did you follow the link in my message above? Search text for "transcript"

Bunyip

Z for breezes ( zephyr one supposes)