There seems to be lots of jokes all over the place, what about clubbing some together the RSPCJ (Royal Society of Prevention of Cruelty to Jokes) would have a field day

As we have a Folk Festival kicking off in my fair town this weekend (the highlight of the year) here are a few for starters:

The local members of the blind association went on a day trip. They had a jolly good time and stopped at a pub on the way home. The person driving left the members outside on the green with their football with bells on it.

10 minutes later someone come rushing in and says:

"Come quick, your mates are kicking the stuffing out of a Morris dancer!"

In the same vein:

Q: Why do morris dancers wear bells?

A: So they can annoy blind people as well

I had such fun at the Upton Folk Festival, especially at the accordian repair man's stall. "I wonder why all those accordians keep needing repairing..."



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

I wouldn't make jokes about Morris dancing to a Northern side. Cotswald Morris is the sort that involves hanky waving and is danced six inches above the ground. Northern Morris involves large sticks, clogs and much stamping, and is danced six inches below the ground....
Watching an enthusiastic Morris team in green and purple rags and face paint, all swinging pick-axe handles at one another, is not a sight for the faint-hearted.

What is a Morris dancer?? (stupid American here!)

Morris dancers are traditionally male, although there are now female sides (groups). It's a form of country dance, usually accompanied by an accordian or similar, and maybe whistle and drum.
In Cotswald Morris, the dancers wear white shirts and trousers and have rows of bells strapped to their shins. Small black hats with greenery stuck in, and crossed braces (suspenders, in American). Northen Morris either wear similar outfits, but with black trousers, or coloured motley. They tend to carry sticks or 'swords' to dance with.
Morris dancers form lines, circle, advance back and forth and generally form patterns as they go through a repeated routine. In Northern Morris, dancers usually carry long sticks, which they bash against one another, or on the ground, at certain points in the dance, usually shouting at the same time. Longsword morris is similar, but uses flexible metal strips with a handle at one end. The climax of one dance comes with the swords all being interlaced together to form a six-pointed star, which is held aloft by one man; very impressive.
I've never danced Morris myself, but I've seen it at Folk Dance festivals and other occasions. I have friends who Morris. It seems to require a lot of beer.

There is a lot of Morris round our way. Beer is indeed very heavily involved. Heavy clogs are worn, and accordions feature. The whole thing is unspeakably silly. See [www.morrismen.saddleworth.org.uk] for an idea of what it looks like.



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I am very interested in the Universe. I am specialising in the Universe and everything surrounding it. - E. L. Wisty

I was on Long Island in 1984 and went to a 'folk festival' which had 'Morris Dancers' - it was unlike anything I had ever seen before!

All Ye Olde Worlde signs and embroided hankies waved about by Morris Dancers wearing every colour but white. Far worse than anything over here - and I've seen some dodgy stuff in my time!

One local Morris group includes not only a team of men and a team of women but also a team of children... whom they call 'the Morris Minors'.

"Groooan".

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"This was willed where what is willed... can get rather silly."

I suppose they dance to the 'Stutter Rap'?..............

... or 'Driving in my Car' ...



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I am very interested in the Universe. I am specialising in the Universe and everything surrounding it. - E. L. Wisty

Morris Dancing, probably the origin of the phrase 'folk off'....



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.