A while ago we mentioned Half Man Half Biscuit. Even less of a while ago I said I wanted Trivial Pursuit in the Olympics. Well, you know how my mind works by now.

To be mumbled in a Birkenhead accent, to a background of punkish guitars. Feel free to wear a Dukla Prague away shirt for added atmosphere. Ah, 1, 2, ah 1-2-3-4 ...

(Why Don't They Have) Trivial Pursuit at the Olympics

This plucky British lad isn't coming in a gallant fourth
It's only gold I'm after and I'll get it how I can
The Russkies got a gardening one, they didn't have a clue
I beat the Thai team cos they'd never heard of Douglas Isle of Man

CHORUS;
If you can't get your pie into the centre
If you can't get your pie into the centre
If you can't get your pie into the centre
Then it means you're completely bloody thick

The Genius Edition holds no fears for me
I know where Papeete is and how you spell Haiphong
I couldn't give a toss if you think Zeus' son was Chaos
I know what the answers are and yours are wholly wrong

The Aussies try to psyche me out with talk of wins at cricket
But I cream them like the amateurs they are
Bulgarians and Chileans cannot stand before me
Cos when it comes to useless knowledge, then Britain's best by far

How many Presidents were born in Illinois?
What is the largest creature with no bones?
Does the Mona Lisa hang in Florence, Rome or Paris?
And where does the aardvaark make its home?

So I've got into the final and of course I play the Yanks
They have to get a medal, it's in the rules
But I win because I know who plays at Prenton Park
And they lost cos they called Magdalen a school

CHORUS x 2

Words fail me - completely and utterly brilliant!

My brother used to have some HMHB LPs (remember them?) and would wander round the house singing "I'm the bastard son of Dean Freidman." Along with Dickie Davies Eyes, they're the only songs I remember from them.

Well done!

Tahiti (okay, I looked it up), Haiphong (at least I'm assuming you spelled it right), Zeus has numerous sons (none of whom I think were named Chaos, although his father was Kronos), 1 (Reagan), the giant squid, Paris (where the Doctor helped the Jagaroth steal it), Africa. Don't know the last couple (which is probably logical given where I live).

Oh, and I know about the Isle of Mann, but not Douglas specifically.

Talking about half wits - I saw this headline today: "'Rambo' used two M16s, machete and 1,600 bullets to steal a sheep"



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

[searching for that damned macro again...oh wait, there it is...]

*slaps hand to forehead*

I'm not familiar with the original, but that is just sheer class anyway!



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That which does not kill us makes us stranger.
(Llewelyn the dragon, Ozy and Millie)

Sarah

If I knew the original tune I think I'd be helpless. I missed the 80's and the 90's (not much!) - now I wish I hadn't!

It hasn't actually got an original, or an original tune (though neither did most of the Biscuits songs, as it happens) it's more 'in the style of' than a parody of any specific song.

Note that our champion never actually answers any questions, and futhermore makes two mistakes ... I'd say his prowess is all in his head ....



Post Edited (06-23-03 23:30)

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I am very interested in the Universe. I am specialising in the Universe and everything surrounding it. - E. L. Wisty

PSD - the Thrombosis of the fforum
Jon - the Poet Laureate of the fforum!

Any other titles anyone can think of for various fforumites?

I reckon you should e-mail that to HMHB and see if they want to use it - superb!