Wilfred, that well-known inebriated penguin, has written a poem about Wednesday night's event. Er. Well, he calls it a poem, anyway. He has got it through his little feathered head that poems are meant to rhyme, but if anyone here can explain scansion to him they will be doing better than I can.

Anyway, here is the hapless bird's piece of matchless verse (this is true enough - not a single match is mentioned in it):

Recently I went to Leeds, where I met a lot of dodos and humans including one called Jasper Fforde,
Who has written a lot of books - well, three anyway - which are too good to be ignored.
I have met quite a few celebrities in my time, but he is definitely the one I like best
Because any human who has their own dodo will always pass my test.

Then we went to a place where all the humans ate rather a lot of food,
And some of them were also drinking things, but I was told to keep my beak out of their glasses because it would be rude.
I don't see why they mind me drinking, and besides being drunk all the time is partly a matter of pride,
But the other thing is that it amuses the humans, because they all think I'm cute because I am so hopelessly cross-eyed.

I don't quite remember how we got home, but I do remember one thing,
Which was that Alan the dodo was getting a little too friendly with my girlfriend, so I had to give him a tap on the wing.
We all had a great time, though, let that be very well understood,
And I have just finished reading WOLP now, which has left me thoroughly bewildered but I'm pretty sure it was extremely good!

* * * * *

Note to confused readers: Wilfred is a special class of fictional character who has a three-dimensional representation, or avatar, here in the Outworld. He has a special permit from JurisFiction to remain here as long as he doesn't attempt to write fiction himself, which would (to use the technical language beloved of JurisFiction operatives) really foul up the system. His poetry appears to be allowed under the conditions of his permit.

Rumour has it that he has occasionally filled in for both William McGonagall and Seamus Heaney.



..........................................................................................

That which does not kill us makes us stranger.
(Llewelyn the dragon, Ozy and Millie)

Sarah

LOL I'm glad Wilfred enjoyed himself at the signing!



I drink to drown my sorrows. Unfortunately they've learnt how to swim.

Excellent - nice to know that theoretically fictional can have just as good a time as the rest of us... now can someone please knit me a Neanderthal?



_ _ _ _ _

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.

Wilfred must have been drunk, Alan doesn't have wings!

I was about to say the same thing. Alan is a version 1.2, like Pickers. So giving him a tap on the wing would be tricky.

What if a fictional person/thing had a child with a non-fictional person/thing?

Would the child have a book made for it, or would it stay in the real world?



---
Those who forget the pasta are doomed to reheat it.

sorry inadvertant spoiler... : (



Post Edited (07-20-03 11:09)

_ _ _ _ _

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.

Oh, Wilfred was totally out of it. He's so confused that he's still wondering if he's Ffrodo's ffather.



..........................................................................................

That which does not kill us makes us stranger.
(Llewelyn the dragon, Ozy and Millie)

Sarah

No need for anyone to knit a Neanderthal, I'm told a personal appearance from me will do fine.

Power tools ---

In case anyone is wondering, it really wasn't me who told him! (Er, who was it?!)



..........................................................................................

That which does not kill us makes us stranger.
(Llewelyn the dragon, Ozy and Millie)

Sarah

Ah! So you believe my simple jests!

lol! I see... power tools?



_ _ _ _ _

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.

Neanderthals like watching programmes about power tools. One of the top rated shows on Neanderthal Network 4 is 'Power Tool Club Live (routers and power planers edition)

Oops! Definitely time to go to bed here... and that was one of my favourite bits too!



_ _ _ _ _

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.

Yep, Neanderthals love power tools. I love power tools. Therefore I am ---

(this is an open goal).

Yes, definitely time to go to bed. That is where I am heading just as soon as Dave R goes home!



..........................................................................................

That which does not kill us makes us stranger.
(Llewelyn the dragon, Ozy and Millie)

Sarah

Night guys :)



_ _ _ _ _

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.

Intrigue _
The novel "Donnerjack", by Roger Zelazney & Jane Lindskold (He had the basic ideas and wrote some of it, she completed it after his death...) asks a similar question about hybridisation between people from the 'real world' ("Verite") and the world of 'virtual reality' ("Virtu"). It's a very good read, too...

************************************************************

Warning! Product may contain Newts!