Went out this evening intending to go circuit training but while driving there I just felt the need for a bit of peace and quiet so decided to go for a run by myself. Parked up near the beach and ran for a bit along the footpath/cycle path. The air was very heavy and it looked like it was going to rain so in consequence there weren't many people about and it was when I was on a piece of the track where you can't be seen from either road or beach that I asked myself, was I being reckless about personal safety or are womens concerns about weirdo's in the bushes over exaggerated. What do some of you other women think, do you feel happy going where you like, wearing what you like, do you men warn your wives, sisters, girlfriends, not to walk home alone after dark etc. This is not a man bashing post, its just something that I was thinking about while I was out, and I let my husband think I'd been to my normal class as he would worry if I'd told him where I had been.

I don't like going out on my own at night at all, but then the area I live in has quite a high crime rate. Admittedly it's not normally muggings, it's car crime, but it still makes me feel uneasy. If I lived where Skiffle does (a quiet area mainly populated by students) I wouldn't bat an eyelid about it.



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That which does not kill us makes us stranger.
(Llewelyn the dragon, Ozy and Millie)

Sarah

hi,

i must admit that I'm quite a coward and avoid being alone outside after dark. Partly because I've been beaten up once, something like 6 years ago, by some stupid drunk hooligans who didn't like my outfit. (Preferred gothic/punk clothing style then) I never worried so much about possible rape or harrassment, because I was scared enough of hooligans and nazi-skinheads, but the result is the same, when I want to go out after dark, I either don't go without company or take the car.

Vio



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Colourless green ideas sleep furiously.

(N. Chomsky 1957)

I would probably be a bit reckless, except for the fact that hubby is VERY protective and literally won't let me outside the door on my own at night. Goning from car to house is as far as I'm allowed to go after dark. I live in the city now, but I grew up in a country town and never had to worry about walking after dark. It was safe.

I grew up in the country and would often be out and about with my friends after dark. I've always felt very safe in Sheffield, though as Sarah says, I live in a reasonably safe area, which I know very well. Frankly I'm more uneasy walking through the town centre late at night, or around Hillsborough Corner, where there are drunks and idiots. And I never walk through the nearby parks after dark.

I generally walk back from pubs and parties with friends - male friends, as they happen to be the ones who live closest. Most of the men I know will offer to walk women friends home, or will accompany if asked. One or two are almost too protective and want to go out of their way to walk with me for the last couple of minutes through a well-lit, quiet area. Their concern is always appreciated.

I'm probably more careful and it depends on the situation. Would I have felt comfortable on the track, no, but I wouldn't have been able to out run or defend myself in a one on one situation. I'm comfortable walking from my car across my parking lot at midnight, but wouldn't be walking in the park next door at the same time. I think the possiblities are real, but the trick is in not letting it run your life. Gavin De Becker wrote a book called "The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us From Violence" that examined this topic. It was really interesting.

First thing: Holly, how can you even think of going for a run? We're doing X country and the moment and my calves are killing me!

But second: not really allowed out much (I'm like a dodo in a cage ;)) but can walk up to the dairy after 7pm if need prompts it. Plus I'm learning BodyCombat after school! :)

And Violet, my mum went through the same gothic/punk stage; although it wasn't that great seeing as she's a civil servant! Everyone in the court room would stare and snigger :o) !



"What I need is a strong drink and a peer-group." -Ford Prefect

I walk alone everywhere and never had any problems. As long as you keep your wits and are aware of your surroundings it should be ok, also, keep your keys in your hand ready to poke them in someone's face if someone tries to grab you

The most worried I have been was as a teenaged scuba diver. We used to practice in Hyson Green, Nottingham, (red light district and murder capitol of England). We stood outside the baths waiting for a lift home and worrying what we would do if a man pulled up in a car. Thinking back, we were soaking wet and carrying scuba tanks, so it would have been a rather peculiar type of man that would stop for us.

You could have wapt him with a scuba tank.

The wet suits might have been confusing though.

There are plenty out there that like the skin-tight black look. Just about anyone with more testoterone than estogen.

I was attacked when I was 19 - just walking back home around 11pm along a well lit busy-ish road with quite a few side streets. The houses are mainly set quite a bit back from the road, many with long drives surrounded with bushes. He tried to get me into the long driveway of one of them but I managed to bring my right knee up very hard between his legs.

His language was choice and he ran off - only he couldn't run properly because of the force I'd used in the knee-jerk. My knee was bruised for a week! I ran to the nearest house, which turned out to be the house of an ex-teacher of mine who was wonderful. Her husband and son went out looking but couldn't find him. The only description I could give to the Police was tall, blondish, jeans, dark tee-shirt and he would be walking with difficulty.

A girl was found dead in the garden of one of the houses a couple of weeks later. They caught that guy - but it wasn't the one who attacked me. Made me feel rather vunerable for a while.

Am giggling to myself at the thought of going running in scuba suit complete with flippers in order to disorientate would be pervert.
If I am ever getting back to my car on my own after dark I do make sure I've got my keys in my hand so I can get into the car smartish but also to give any lurking trouble a quick gouge. Mind you the way things seem to be in this country sometimes if you did that you would probably get arrested for assault.
ILS - believe me when you get to my age and with the size of bum that my mothers side of family managed to cultivate you'd run too. Aches and pains can usually be cured by a liberal application of chocolate cake, applied internally of course. Have wonderful mental image of your mother, thats priceless.

Auntysassy - just posted this then read yours. What a horrible experience, I'm so glad you managed to fight him off. Lets hope you did him some lasting damage.



Post Edited (07-30-03 12:23)

Auntysassy – Good for you! I bet a lot of male Fforumites winced when they read that. I try not to feel anxious when out walking at night in Nottingham, but it has more than its fair share of shootings and attacks on women. I feel that looking frightened is an invite to some types of thugs. A large bunch of keys with one sticking out between the fingers makes me feel more secure, even though I would probable never use them.

One thing Hubby always says if you are attcked by a man, girls, is don't try to hard getting them in the groin. They expect that. Go for the throat (ie good hard punch or elbow) or the eyes (fingernails). Or course, our instant reaction is the groin, but if that doesn't work use the others.

Apparently if you hit someone hard enough on the end of the nose, say with the heel of your hand, you can drive the spike of their nose right up into their brain! Bit drastic if he was only gonna ask for directions tho.
Also some women are shocked at how physically strong men can be and kind of freeze so I advise getting some friendly bloke to wrestle with you now and again.......

Excellent idea if he's really good looking and can show you some tight grappling holds, too....

Look, some of us are supposed to be working here. The strange giggling is getting me some funny looks.

Well, giggle in a manner not strange.