hello everybody!

Now, after i had replied in some topics to various "blutwurst" and other questions, I think i am experienced enough to start off my own topic which nobody cares about. yesterday, we had a barbecue at the shores of the lovely Rhine, and after a while, we got the idea to think of supernatural forces, which are completely unnecessary. wouldn´t that be a nice change to all those "we can do everthing"-marvel-and-alike superheroes?
here our first attempts

"Nose-Bleeding-man"

nose bleeding almost in perfection. starting anytime, pretty often and without any coherence. poor guy, but a frantic user of handkerchiefs

"Glowing-barbecure-finger-man"
anytime this guy gets near a barbecue, his middle finger starts to glow, the nearer he comes to the source, the brighter the glowing.

"suicide-man"
okay..i know, one way would be to make this super-hero a quite short-living man..but i was rather thinking about a super-hero, who has the ability to confirm everybody that killing themselves is indeed the proper solution for them, since nobody likes them anyway and so they kill themselves in the end. no more these desperate attemptsd to save human lives...

got any other recommendations? well, go ahead

santuris

Girl-man
Fully grown, muscular man with the intellect and voice of a little girl.

Puffy-man
Expands when he touches anything wet.



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Those who forget the pasta are doomed to reheat it.

Super Multi-Tasking Man: He chews gum! He walks! At the same time!



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

Nail-man
Can hold over 50 nails in his mouth!



Post Edited (08-03-03 12:53)

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Those who forget the pasta are doomed to reheat it.

Mail Man:

Delivers post.



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

Bug Man
*no, it's not what you're thinking*
disposes of creepie-crawlies around the household with a single powerful swat (also capable of clearing dead birds off the back porch if need be)

that man who brings you your car when it's raining....erm, does he have a name?



Post Edited (08-03-03 16:48)

Fire Man:

Delivers fire.



:--

Do something pretty while you can...

There was a mock-superheroes game on 'Whose Line Is It Anyway ?', where the players could come up with suitably improbable superhero names for each other to improvise. I've never forgotton the look of horror on Greg Proop's face, when he was introduced as 'Rhyming Couplet Boy', and had to perfom in character for the next two minutes.

New character from the chat-room: Multiple Magda



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

Day-Glo Man. Snap him in the middle and he glows for up to 8 hours.

Wine man: Knows exactly which wine to serve with which meal.



TMH

//---------------//------------------//
One golfer a year is hit by lightning. This may be the only evidence we have of god’s existence.

Washing-up Man. Willing washes, dries and puts away dishes WITHOUT BEING ASKED.

howsa about Captain Vomitrotious? He can vomit blood on command.

Oh dear I can see this degenerating into a women v. men discussion ever so quickly... please remember to keep your sense of humour about you at ALL times folks, especially on threads like this!

The Mexcentinator. Can utter any sentence in a comical Mexican accent.

Double-Jointed Boy. Blessed with the phenomenal super-ability to bend his fingers *right back*.

Maximum Farce. She has the supernatural power to enter any situation at the exact moment guaranteed to deliver maximum embarrassment for all others present, and lowbrow comedy laffs to any onlookers.

The Damnbuster. Heroically preventing people from using tame swearwords.

The White-Goods Avenger. Did you leave the oven on? She knows!

Tack-Man. A great substitute for thumb-tacks, but it does mean he has to stand there, up against the wall, for as long as you want that poster to stay there.

And a recent doodle I came up with, that seems appropriate: The X-Istentialists! With great Weltschmertz comes great responsibility.


(In a final aside, contributors to this post might want to check out Bob Burden's 'The Flaming Carrot', the comic book that spawned the film 'Mystery Men'. Classic lame superhero action. I believe there's a website out there somewhere.)



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"Whisky-wa-wa," I breathed - she was dressed as Biffo the Bear.

What about

Super Movement Man: He stands! He sits! He even crouches !



"What I need is a strong drink and a peer-group." -Ford Prefect

Prime Minister Man - Useless for just about everything!



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There's a hole in my creativity bucket and it's all leaked out.

okay, since there were quite some cool inventions, here again some new ones (and as useless as the rest)

wo-man: talks every single day, doesn´t need any special topic, doesn´t even need to breathe

(okay that one was bad )

fox man: steals chicken out of barns and eats them alive

dinosaur man: unfortunately, no records of this one exist. seems he has died out long ago

pencil-man: looks like a pencil but can´t write

or what about:

hawai-man: wears hawai-shirts and likes to put flower-chains round other people, saying "aloah" every time

santuris

Onto the superhero stage, we now welcome:

La Salsa! Cannot dance. Is, however, largely composed of tomatoes and quite spicy.

Captain Weightguess. Fearlessly guessing evil's weight.

The Fluffer. Um, that's an adult one, I'm not explaining it here...

The Incredible Absent Man. Wherever wrongs are committed, there you won't find him. Wherever injustice is done, he won't be there.

The Elephant Man. Billy Barker was an ordinary teenager, until the day he was bitten by a radioactive elephant...

King James I of England (VI of Scotland). Armed with the Divine Right of Kings, which allows him to strike down felonious pretenders to the English throne.

The Dyctionary. Knows the meaning and etymology of any word (out of a total lexicon of 200,000 English and American-English words). Trepidesce, wrongdoers!

The Femynyst. Has all the powers of a man, and you'd better not forget it, buster.

The Chauvynyst. Oh, that's sweet, you want to take over the world. I wouldn't worry your evil little head over it, though, or else we'll have to bust that pretty ass of yours.

Dr Origami. Can make shapes out of paper *using only folds* - no cuts! Also a qualified medical practitioner.

And finally...
Chloroplasto. Has the power to photosynthesise.



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"Whisky-wa-wa," I breathed - she was dressed as Biffo the Bear.

Mr Melicious : he's so sweet he's *dangerous*

you need to read 'Superheroes' by John Varley - it's set of short stories that he edited, all about vaguely crap superheroes. Very entertaining.

Captain Housework is one of my favourites..

[www.amazon.com]