Look, I know I'm not much fun, but saying I'm a wake is a bit far...



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

You're the life of the party, PSD. Shame that the party is dead.

I once had to call a company about something and got their answerphone message. It was sung by most of their office, to a Motown tune. I was so gob-smacked, that by the time I'm pulled myself together to leave a message, there was barely enough time left.

Has anyone enjoyed themselves making prank phone calls (not to complete strangers, obviously)?

My sister occasionally throws a phone at me and asks me to phone someone for her. I once had someone in a club asking people if they were Jeremy, before he realised that he looked a berk...



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

a friend of mine has a way of dealing with nuisance cold-callers.

Pete: Hello?
Caller: Hi, Can I interest you in double glazing?
Pete: Hello?
Caller: Yes, hello. Do you need double glazing?
Pete: Hello? Is anyone there? Hello?


etc.

I deal with Jehovahs Witnesses and Mormons in a similar way. When I answer the door and they start their speel I interrupt and say: "Oh, I'm sorry. I don't speak English." Leaves them standing there with their mouths gaping open in confusion.

or shout 'AAAAIIIEEE!!! UNCLEAN, UNCLEAN!!!'

and slam the door.

I have a friend who tells them she's been converted to Christianity. Aparrantly that REALLY freaks them out. they stand at the end of your driveway and perform exorcises.

Best way to get rid of them still is to just to offer them some of your info material (if you begin to giggle insanely while asking they run even faster).



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Colourless green ideas sleep furiously.

(N. Chomsky 1957)

My cousin, who is something in nuclear physics likes to debate the finer points of the creation of the world with them.

I've only met one, and they left me alone because I'm under 18. : )



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Those who forget the pasta are doomed to reheat it.

With the JWs it's important to know that they only talk about what they have been programmed on this week. Apparently the material goes out, they get quizzed and marked, or something like that.

I find it quite fun taking them on because I hit them with Christianity AND Nuclear Physics. I once got one of their regional co-ordinators into such a state of astonishment that she ran away to think things over.

Very simple things will wind them up. Do use if you want to. You don't have to believe, or agree with me, or anything, just ask them to explain this and they will go into knots. Possibly long after they have gone away.

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As they believe that the Father is superior to Jesus and the Holy Spirit, when it says that the Father exalted Jesus above all others, surely He included Himself in that statement.
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Enjoy, should you have the opportunity and the nerve.

If anyone finds this offensive, I'll edit it out. :)

Ptolly's post reminded me of something that happened when I was in high school.

I lived in the country and we had a party line (meaning 2 houses shared the same phone line even though we had different numbers. Their's would ring once, ours would ring twice) and if you picked up the phone while the other house was talking you could hear them.

Well, this couple was a pretty quiet couple who kept mostly to themselves, but we knew that the man had a pretty volitile temper. Well, being a teenager, I was always on the phone with my girlfriends and so I invariably picked up on the neighbors frequently. And one day, I happened to pick up while he had apparently picked a fight with his wife and she was holding the phone like she was going to call the police.

So they argued and argued- a quite interesting fight about how he thought she had let the dog drink out of his coffee cup when he put it down and then didn't tell him when he took another drink out of it. So I'd put the phone down, come back 15 minutes later and they're still arguing...another 15 minutes, still arguing. Well, apparently, after a while the phone was put down but not hung up....and the arguing had progressed onto something completely *different* (wink, wink, nudge, nudge).

And of course, by this time, my best friend had ridden her bike over to my house to see why I hadn't called. So, of course, we listened in... almost 3 hours worth of "completely different"!!! Much giggling and face making ensued on our end of the phone line!

The neighbors finally figured out the phone wasn't on the hook when the guy went to grab his cigarrettes that he couldn't initially find but eventually found on the table next to the phone. And he heard us giggling on the other end! He had the audacity to yell at us! So I told him very boldly that if he was going to tie up our phone for nearly 4 hours that he might as well be entertaining! And with that I hung up.

From then on, he never could look me in the face. Priceless!

Lovely story. ("Chuckle" :-)

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Warning! Product may contain Newts!

Excellent, AAC!

PSD, you've obviously never been to an Irish wake - now they're fun!

I find if you tell Mormon's/JWs you're Catholic, they try very hard not to make the sign of the cross and leave very quickly.



Post Edited (08-12-03 21:14)

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If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.

Try tell a Mormon or JW that you are a witch! They can't run away fast enough!

I was rudely awoken on tuesday morning to the sound of what i believed had to be either a swat team or my angry father knocking on the door.

looked out the window and didn't recognise the car, so hurried to the back door (in pj's and hair like windswept moor). Only to discover some *lovely* old duck trying to sell the church to me.

when she realised the horror that was mel half asleep and vampire-like after a nite on the fforum, she threw her brochure at me and beat a hasty retreat towards the driveway.