On a British Airways flight from Johannesburg, a middle-aged, well-off white South African Lady has found herself sitting next to a black man. She calls the cabin crew attendant over to about her seating.
"What seems to be the problem Madam?" asks the attendant.
"Can't you see?" she says. "You've sat me next to a kaffir. I can't possibly sit next to this disgusting human. Find me another seat!"
"Please calm down Madam." the stewardess replies. "The flight is very full today, but I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll go and check to see if we have any seats available in club or first class."
The woman cocks a snooty look at the outraged black man beside her (not to mention many of the surrounding passengers). A few minutes later the stewardess returns with the good news, which she delivers to the lady, who cannot help but look at the people around her with a smug and self satisfied grin. "Madam, unfortunately, as I suspected, economy is full. I've spoken to the cabin services director, and club is also full. However, we do have one seat in first class."
Before the lady has a chance to answer, the stewardess continues.........
"It is most extraordinary to make this kind of upgrade, however, and I have had to get special permission from the captain. But, given the circumstances, the captain felt that it is outrageous that someone be forced to sit next to such an obnoxious person."
With that, she turns to the black man sitting next to the woman, and says...
"So if you'd like to get your things, Sir, I have your seat ready for you..."
At which point, apparently the surrounding passengers stood and gave a standing ovation while the black guy walked up to the front of the plane.

*claps*

Good for him!!!!

I've read it before. Good though.

From the Fforum (a few months ago):

Then there's the three Native American Squaws sitting outside their wigwams. The one on the Elephant hide had one son. The one on the giraffe hide had one son. The one on the hippopotamus hide had two sons, which just proves that the squaw on the hippopotamus equals the sons of the squaws o the other two hides.

Oh, they did worse than that.... a story about an Eskimo who got very cold paddling about in his canoe and tried to light a fire in it to keep himself warm. Alas, the fire burnt a hole in the bottom of the canoe and it sank. The moral of this tale? You can't have your kayak and heat it.

From Grim Fandango:

You were in a boat accident? What happened?

What happened was I learned three valuable lessons:
Stay away from boats,
When it comes to navigation, trust only the moon and the stars,
...and when there's only two of you left, never ever go to sleep.

Kaz - great story! :-)



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That which does not kill us makes us stranger.
(Llewelyn the dragon, Ozy and Millie)

Sarah

Intrigue, what I want to know is where the squaws found the Native American hippo, giraffe and elephant from which to make the wigwams.

Kaz - Great Story!!!

I second everyone! Wonderful story!

The following story is supposedly true, and appeared in a newspaper article (in the Daily Mail), about holiday-makers' stupidities, earlier this summer...

A woman wrote a letter to the tour company with which she'd dealt complaining that although she & her fiance had ordered a twin-bedded room they'd been given a room that contained one double bed instead.

"We hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant" she told them. "This would not have happened if you had put us in the rooms that we booked."

Some people, eh?

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"God rot Botchkamos Istochnik!"



Post Edited (08-20-03 15:57)

Great story!
Sadly I doubt that it made any impact on the lady involved...



I drink to drown my sorrows. Unfortunately they've learnt how to swim.

Kaz - brilliant!



_ _ _ _ _

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.

My favourite travel complaint is the gu who complained that it had taken him 6 hours to fly to Bermuda, but the Americans staying there had only taken two hours...



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

I think I met him when I was in Bermuda PSD.

Idiot.

Good stories, all!



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There's a hole in my creativity bucket and it's all leaked out.

AAC - I left out the unknown fforumite's explanation as to how the Native Americans obtained the animals.



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Those who forget the pasta are doomed to reheat it.

I put that one on the fforum, Intrigue. I said at the time I didn't know how they got the skins. Unless someone else got there first.

I think the kayak one was either PSD or Jon.



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Those who forget the pasta are doomed to reheat it.

It was Jon, in response to another Frank Muir/Denis Norden story I quoted, but I can't remember which one.



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That which does not kill us makes us stranger.
(Llewelyn the dragon, Ozy and Millie)

Sarah

That's the one!



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Those who forget the pasta are doomed to reheat it.

From the great cartoon, Daria:

Mr. DeMartino - Brittany. Would you care to tell us some of the factors leading up to the Great Depression?
Brittany - Um, when people realized they had no money they got really depressed?
Mr. DeMartino - Brittany, explain something. Do you perhaps harbor a powerful phobia that it might actually hurt to think?
Brittany - Um, I think that's pronounced "pheebia."



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Those who forget the pasta are doomed to reheat it.