... something. Or he doesn't.

***

So Alan Bennett walks into the bar, and the bar an says...

---

Part time Quantum Elephant hollower

Hello Alan, whiskey coming up but I don't know if you like it straight or otherwise.

A Morris man enters the bar and thew barman says...

....and the barman says "pull the other one it's got.........."

-------------------------------------------------------

"So, Steve Austin walks into a bar................

... and demolishes it.

Bob the Builder walks into a bar...

... a can will do it.

Bob Geldorf walks into a bar ...

-----------------------------------------
Joint winner Colouring Competition 2007
and outright winner of the 3 time winner of the Ffestival Dodo Feeding competition.
Fforde Ffiesta Ffotos are here - [www.flickr.com]

..and the barman says "What %%*££ !!()$ can @@@@@@%""! #!+&*&*&*" ?

-----------------------------------------------

So, Stephen Fry walks into a bar........

My God for a moment there I thought you were Mr Ubiquitous but he came in on page 27. But now I can see that you truly are god (not)

A national treasure smarms into the bar and the barman says...

(You all are finally mentioning people I have heard of before! Shock and Awe!)
<enjoying it while it lasts, as I watched TV for 10 years and then gave it up>

... will the National Trust be paying your tab?

****

Theodor Geisel walks into a bar...

...and the barman says...

"Hello, Theodor, my man,
Will you drink here from a can?
Would you rather have a Gin?
Thank you, Sir, for coming in."

Bartholomew Cubbins walks into a bar...

(Bravo!)

... and the barman says ...
"is that a Kentucky Gentleman Top Hat with ice?"

Michael Bentine walks into a bar ...

-----------------------------------------
Joint winner Colouring Competition 2007
and outright winner of the 3 time winner of the Ffestival Dodo Feeding competition.
Fforde Ffiesta Ffotos are here - [www.flickr.com]

Have you got a crooked fork in your pocket or do you always walk like that.


Big Ben walks into a bar and the barman says...

....your name rings a bell with me!




Nostradamus walks into the bar and the barman says.....

"... If you're not Nostradamus you're a dead ringer."

A Barman walks into a bar...

Edited because I just realized that somehow I've confused "Nostradamus" with "Quasimodo," thus ruining the joke. I know the original bar entrant was "Nostradamus" and I probably should create a barman's greeting for him, but somehow Quasimodo is funnier.

Quasimodo falls from the top of the belltower,striking the bell face-first on the way down and ending a lifeless body on the pavement.

First man: "Who's that?"

Second man: "I don't know the name, but the face rings a bell."

Third man: "If it's not Quasimodo it's a dead ringer."

Ah, that's better.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/15/2012 10:59AM by MistyCat.

.....and the barman says "I must stop talking to myself."

"O.K."

"Stop that."

"How?"

--------------------------

So, a psychoanalyst walks into a bar...

and the Barman says "Ego is not a dirty word."

so Red Simons walks into the bar ...

he barman says: have you a new award Red. What did you recieve the gong for?



Five medicos in blackface walked into the bar....

Witch doctor is Doctor Who 'cos I've got a pre-ordered Sonic Screwdriver for him?



A dedicated monopoly player enters a bar and the barman says...

... you've landed on the beer works, roll the dice to find out how much it costs.

So an Accountant and a Lawyer walk into a bar.

and the barman says, "Be careful, your actions are accountable."

------------------------------
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a Dane, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Slovak, an Australian, an Egyptian, a New Zealander, a Japanese, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Uzbek, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Israeli, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Liechtensteiner, a Moldovan, a Syrian, an Aruban, a Mongolian, a Portuguese, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Cook Islander, a Norfolk Islander, a Haitian, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Georgian, a Bahaman,a Tajikistani, an Armenian, an Albanian, a Samoan, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Belarusian, a Qatari, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Cuban, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Bulgarian, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, a fforumite and two Africans walk into a bar, and the Barman says, "I'm sorry, but you can't come in here without...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
... a Thai."
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An Internet meme historian walks into a bar...