...realise that having an orange complexion does not mean that you have been near the sun.



People get a bit pushy when....

...their breast size is larger than the bra they just bought.



Even elephants must go...

...and get measured up for new clothes eventually.

Thet say the elephants never ...

Never wear rear fastening underwear.


If all the people who think they're smart met over coffee then...

..who would pass the sugar?



If a candle wore red flannel pyjamas, and a teapot wore a fairisle cosy, what would a tupperware?

Q. If a candle wore red flannel pyjamas, and a teapot wore a fairisle cosy, what would a tupperware?

A. From a New Zealand farm, the answer is a sheepskin coat, raddle, and protection. In the interests of propriety, no further explanation will be given.

I must go down to the sea again,
To the lonely sea, and the sky.
And all I ask is a sausage or two,
And a pan, with which...

MistyCat,

I salute you.


Few are they who have knowledge of what a 'tupper' is, let alone being able to perform the ancient rite.

I genuflect in your general direction.

Genuflection in a General's direction can lead to deflection and uniform inspection.


Generally my general thoughts involve geniality, but when the moose....

...is loose in the hoose [if you don't know your classics I can't be held responsible for your life of eternal darkness] its time to take up the carpets and hide them in the cellar.


But if the mooose is your inspiration I cannot but feel that it takes a lot to get you mooving.

just like you can't if someone playing this thread didn't leave a follow on tag.


Tapping too long on the keyboard gives....

... a wrecked keyboard and some really sore ankles

The water in Majorca ...

.... is sure to forkya.

Drtink bottled water only, preferably with 13 or more percent alcohol in it to act as a steriliser.


Heaving to into the wind can .......

...be a sure method of getting one's own back.

Revenge should be celebrated....

by spitting out the dog hair obtained by biting the dog that bit you.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

So if Sunday you're free, why don't you come with me, and we'll...

...spit a dog and eat it for tea.



Dormice are best....

...served as a cold dish with just a touch of mustard on the side.


Be more....

...or less , as the occasion demands.

But don't ever be......

... Mr In-Between.

Latch-on to the ...

...door. Your door is now complete.

for the wings of a ...

Oh for the wings of half a pound of lard: I'm fed up of cleaning out the doves at top speed


The peregrine falcon has a....