I was reading 'The Horseman's Companion' at lunch, an anthology of equestrian writing.
One selection is some letters (roughly 19th century), sent to a Mr Gambado, esq.

Mr Gillyflower writes asking for advice as he is trying to court a lady whom he meets out riding, but his horse is afflicted with a serious wind problem. Unless it can be cured, he will lose his lady-love.

Mr Gambado consults his blacksmith, who sends a powder, and the following note:

By advice from Mr Gambado of your horse's complaint, I have sent you a powder so strong, that if administer'd night and morning in his corn, will be bold to say no horse in England shall ever fart again after Thursday next. Shall be very thankful for your honour's custom in the same way in future.

So if our heroine passes wind, will every horse in England eventually explode from build up of gases ? Is this some kind of curse that has been laid upon Thursday ? Does Jasper know about it ?

Jet assisted Derby winners - I like it...



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

Now there's a slice of 19th century life you don't get in Jane Austen.

"You must pardon me, Mr. Knightley, if I do not linger in conversation with you, but your cob has just blown off, and I would be downwind."



- - -
I am very interested in the Universe. I am specialising in the Universe and everything surrounding it. - E. L. Wisty

[gasping for air]

OH MY!

jet propelled indeed!

And by the way, anyone who has spent time around particularly flatulent horses can TOTALLY identify with that letter! Sometimes it can be so bad that it can a) Make you vomit, or b) Actually pass out!

I've come close to doing both!

Gosh... and I thought Chomsky the cat was bad enough!



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That which does not kill us makes us stranger.
(Llewelyn the dragon, Ozy and Millie)

Sarah

Our high school headmaster used to wear a suit in a particularly nasty shade of greeny brown. It was almost the exact same colour as muck from a grass-fed horse.

:-S

Too much information there, old girl...



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That which does not kill us makes us stranger.
(Llewelyn the dragon, Ozy and Millie)

Sarah

Question: Is this why we never see jockeys smoking as they hurdle over Beecher's Brook?



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

They're not travelling fast enough to start smoking.

and if they were, I think there'd probably be a major methane explosion! Many scientists speculate that over-production of methane is the number one reason cows and horses have high rates of 'spontaneous combustion'

and let me just add to my last post...a bloated horse (or cow for that matter) that finally relieves itself should be considered a terroist for releasing noxious fumes like that!

so should some of our IT Development department. Honestly, you'd think they were age 3 or something. They have to have 'fart amnesties' so they can get some work done, then proceed to wander over to each other's desks so they can let one go. Nice.

Though eddie did do a sustained, 3-note one the other day that put them all to shame. I was soo proud.

I had no idea that cows and horses have high rates of spontaneous combustion. Are you sure you didn't read it in an article published early in April ?


current music: 'Best Air Guitar Album In The World Ever'.

I got an air Rickenbacker with my copy.

Erm, actually in the Official Handbook of the Not Too Terribly Good Club of Great Britain (and I can't find my reference copy at this precise moment in time), it mentions a vet who put a tube up a cow's behind to investigate its internal gases, lit a match and burned down two barns. He was fined for starting a fire in a manner surprising to the magistrates.



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

Just talking to a friend with a healthy interest in chemistry, explosions and biology. According to Iain, superoxidedismutane is present throughout the body (man and cows both). It catalyses hydrogen peroxide and superoxides into a harmless state.
If the body's production of supercallifragoxidismutanetious should catastrophically fail, then the overload of hydrogen peroxide etc causes you to SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST ! The oxygen in the air around you and in your lungs makes you burn more, and any body fat adds fuel to the flames.

It could happen to you at *any* time

Sleep well...

scary, ain't it? LOL (especially to those of us with extra 'fuel' !!)

Talking of burning fat, did anybody watch Bloody Briatin on Discovery a couple of nights ago? It was on the seige of Rochester, and featured an unholy mix of cartoons, demonstrations and humour, and as such was one of the best history programmes I have ever seen. Highlight was when we were told that bad King John sent out for 'forty fat pigs of the kind least good for eating'. And why? Not because he wanted to tempt out the rebels with a decent fry-up, but because he had tunnelled under the castle keep, and needed to set fire to the props supporting the walls. In the absence of tar, he reasoned that pig fat would do pretty well.

"Just imagine," said the presenter, "you've been besieged for five weeks and have had to eat your horses, and suddenly up wafts the smell of the mother of all bacon sandwiches."

Warfare can be so cruel....

(on a related note, apparently somebody has offered the Yanks a bunch of mine-clearing monkeys. I have no idea if this is satire or not, but the idea appeals.)



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

Somehow doubt whether burning pig fat would actually smell much like frying bacon, that well-known downfall of vegetarians.

well, we already have sea-mine clearing dolphins, so why not!

(and fyi, said dolphins found 2 mines near that port city near Basra, so now they can bring in food and supplies...all due to those silly dolphins!)

I've been to Rochester Castle. It has a sneaky design feature to bring in extra meat during sieges... The inside of the sections of the central keep's walls that are just above the interior's roof & just below the defensive walkway contain a number of deliberately built-in holes, which are just the right size to attract roosting pigeons.

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"Some days i diet, other days they serve lasagne."

Somebody bothered to design something to *attract* pigeons ? Sodding things invite themselves anywhere they like, then **** all over your porch roof.