A FISTFUL OF SONNETS
(With incidental spaghetti-Western background music by Tex and the Tornadoes, and a shoot-out at The Double-X-Ranch...)
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Sonnet the First: The Forger, Tripp'd

O, too bleak, too foolish the attempt!
My vanity hath gravely overreached
My art to tell, and make th' telling tempt
A fortune to my purse; so I beseech
Patience as the part of those who read
This wizen'd scrawl, for aught I did my best.
Still, must I make a bended knee and plead,
For skill hath failed upon the pointed test.
It was not wit that lacked, nor thought gone bare,
Nor passion cinder'd down to ashy hiss.
I wrote my heart in truth, yet with good care,
But at the last, I did neglect-- t'was this:

Although I made sweet verse of subtle beauty,
It bugger'd all to mention Howdy Doody...

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Sonnet the Second: Oh My Gawd, She's Not A Marlovian Is She???

When I was but a youngling sprout at school,
I studied hard that word and work might stick.
I cherished ev'ry precept, ev'ry rule,
And never thought I'd come the heretic.
How stand I at this pass, I do not know;
It started with slight, simple doubts that vex'd.
A current dark, a skillful undertow
Dragged me down beneath the tauten'd text.
Yea, as the years flowed by, another voice
Spoke smooth beneath the writ as water clear--
A spy who spun deep secrets, shadow's choice,
And not a simple man who shook a spear...

Though not by Cheshire Cat of subtle wit,
I do suspect the plays were penn'd by Kit.

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Sonnet the Third: For Havisham

A lady fair was ruin'd, this we knew,
But knew we not she had another life:
A Jurisfiction agent, tried-and-true,
Who never shirk'd the Book World's inner strife.
Handmaid of speed, the redline's faithful bride,
She made rude Heathcliff wish he'd ne'er been born.
And when she open'd up the throttle wide,
She outpaced ev'ry bitterness, all scorn.
Too soon she swerved-- the author's fatal pass--
And flicker'd out, a dream within a dream.
'To Havisham!' we cry, and hit the gas--
All hearken to the engine's throaty scream...

At one-twenty on the M4 do we thrive,
And in her mem'ry, kick the overdrive!

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Sonnet the Fourth: Turtle-Brain'd

Yon hare is naught but swift, all clever winks,
But slowly tortoise has the quickest eye:
My lack of speed gives plotting-time, methinks,
And cunning plans within my shell do lie.
While bunny troubles brain-box not at all,
And stuffs his face with clover'd dandelion,
I read philosophy, and science sprawl'd
From galaxy and star to quark and ion.
Thus, I knew sweet Xeno and his plan
Which when invok'd, stood me in greatest stead--
No matter how the wretched rabbit ran,
Yet I was still by half-again ahead!

A clot upon four legs I am, yet wise;
So bumpkin Turtle walks off with the prize.

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Sonnet the Fifth: A Book Recommended

If you make a space within your mind,
If you make a space within your heart,
A broadened land held hopeful, there to bind
The worlds that are the storyteller's art,
You will be rewarded and right well--
Adventure grand will beckon, twist and tease!
The outer form may dry to empty shell,
Yet innerly, Time stops with grace and ease.
When politicians ply their ovine crook,
And press to place their worries in your sight,
Open but a joy-aFforde-ing book
There to gain great happiness, delight...

So if the world has worn you, pain'd and vex'd,
Just hang on tight and wait for Thursday Next!

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FINIS
(And be sure to watch for 'A Few Sonnets More' starring Buck Stallion and Clint Eastwood, with a cloned Aurochs drive through both North and South Dakota.)



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 05/26/2007 03:30AM by TortoiseOfTheD'Urbervilles.

I think we just found DAFW's soul mate!

BK: Funny enough, I thought it was him until I read your post....

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'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

Soul *rival*, more likely... my name-length record, my poetry-psychosis crown, everything! Everything. Perhaps the impartials could devise some manner of duel to the death.

Ah..., though. Perfect meter.

FIGHT! FIGHT!! FIGHT!!!

Can we watch?

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My computer beat me at chess, but I won at kickboxing

<runs to get popcorn>

__________________________________
'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

Yes. You can even sell tickets, if you like.

<draws cheese machete>

<Sells tickets. Pockets money. Laughs not at all evilly>

<does a little, little jig>

<Charges extra for the floorshow>

<sharpens cheese machete>