I thought I figured out the Nextian connection for each of the four puzzles, but I appear to be wrong. Can any one help me out?
Thanks!
Natalie

It had most of us stumped too, except for a few smug types sitting in the corner. First thing is DON'T PANIC (possibly in comforting green letters). If you know the books moderatley well, youll kick yourself afterwards. Unless you're like me, who kicked my sister instead (much more satisfying, I've always found)

Second thing is to have a look in the HELP! SHOUTY POSTER thread (ignore the bitching between Dave and Rob - they didn't mean it. Well, mostly) -

[www.jasperfforde.com]

where I've dropped a few hints, although not many. There are also other hints hidden about the fforum, mostly under obvious thread titles.

Third rule is to send your credit card details to me, and I'l give you the answers. Oh, all right. If you get stuck (and can't find the exisiting hints) then mail me, and I'll send a big pile of hints in your direction, without any charge. If you're still stuck after all that then I'll resort to giving you the answers direct.

(This offer goes for anybody else who's stuck.)



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

and don't worry, you'll get them eventually! Wait till you hit 'The Swifties'...

the odd ones out- the first 2 have kind of real-world reasoning that works too. So if you've got them, there's only 16 other combinations to try!

:-)

welcome to the fforum, btw. That chap you've just met is PSD, resident wit and lowerer of tones. Mind the cats, there are a few about.

Oh, and any reference to 'Whatever Next' can be safely ignored, it's mythical...

It's not. It's just the British Rail of publishing.

During my monumental screw-up this morning we got kicked out at Tilehurst to wait for a 'slow' train. After deciphering the timetable, I correctly predicted the next train we could catch. "How do you know it's a slow train?"
"Easy," says I. "Fast trains move slwoly, and slow trains move eventually."

Okay, not the greatest quip, but in the circumstances.

I'm not sure I've ever been called a wit before. Not without reference to Spooner, and with the word 'shining' immediately before 'wit'.



Post Edited (04-01-03 23:55)

PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

I rest my case. British Rail is certainly mythical.

Gryffan: if you lurk here for long, you'll notice that threads rapidly go off topic. They sometimes go off topic halfway through the original post.

It's part of our charm. Oh, and Rob and I love each other dearly. In a strictly manly sense, obviously. I'm only saying it as he's not here (gone skiing). If he was here, I'd call him a lanky yorkshire git, as per usual.

Does he have a silly hat to ski in? I've got lots of silly hats, but don't ski. Is this normal?



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

I must confess to not having seen his hat. He does have a splendidly silly rugby shirt which is pink and brown. He claims it's something to do with cambridge.

Speaking of which , anyone watching the Boat Race at the weekend?

You know I'm a fanatic. I'll watch it, and probably be screaming at the coxes to get their lines right. I reckon Cambridge by three lengths.



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

I've never screamed at any cox. Always seemed like bad manners, to me and I know how sensitive men are about these things.

Oh, was that not what you were talking about ?
*assumes look of studied innocence*

innocent?

you use that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

*sitting in corner looking smug*

Inconceivable !

I know something you don't know...

Remind sme of a song we used to sing on the way back from rugby matches.

"I know a bear that you don't know, Yogi, Yogi,
I know a bear that you don't know, Yogi, Yogi Bear,
Yogi, Yogi Bear, Yogi, Yogi Bear.
I know a bear that you don't know, Yogi, Yogi Bear.

Yogi has a little friend - Boo Boo, Boo Boo...

Yogi has a girlfriend - Susi, Susi...

Susi likes it violently, Grizzly, Grizzly

Boo Boo has a girlfriend, Dani, Dani...

Dani likes it in a tree, Koala, Koala...

Yogi has a green knob, Cucum, Cucum...

Boo Boo has a cheesy knob, Camem, Camem...

Dani likes it on the fridge, Polar, Polar..."

-------------------

I think we'll stop it there...



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

That's *not* the sort of thing we used to sing on school trips - but then it wouldn't be, would it ?
We used to sing "On top of spaghetti, all covered in cheese."


and, to the tune of 'Battle hymn of the Republic':

"The cat packed the parachute, forgot to pack the strings (x3)
And he ain't gonna jump no more.

Glory, glory what a hell of a way to go (x3)
and he ain't gonna jump no more.

subsequent verses developed the story as:
The cat was the last to jump, the first to hit the ground.
He landed on the runway like a blob of strawberry jam.
They scraped him off the runway (can't remember next bit !)
They put him in an envelope and sent him home to Mum.
Absent-minded Granny spread him on a piece of toast.

Lovely what kids sing, ain't it ?

I remember that one. Plus

"A Pizza Hut, A Pizza Hut, Kentucky Fried Chicken and a PIzza HUt"

and Parlez-Vous, whcih if I remember correctly was about chasing a fart. Or something.



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

I went to see 'Toy Story' with a mate, who insisted on going to Sat morning show. Natch, place was full of kids. Someone had a birthday, so the staff started to get everyone singing 'Happy Birthday'. The charming bunch in front of us sang the 'Squashed tomatoes and stew' version instead.

The Pizza Hut one had actions, too.

We used to do the chanty ones, mostly - Everywhere we go-o! etc.

And "skyscraper wean", but i don't think there's any other scots on here, so no-one else will know it...

And I'll bet they were old enough to know better, too... Hell, I sing that version. Althopugh I am a kid still...



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

Definition of thoughtfulness:
When staying up late on fforum, using the downstairs loo before going to bed, rather than the one in the bathroom, closer to Aged Parent's bedrooms

I have to do that too, but I still get whinged at as I have to go downstairs to do it, and the stairs creak.



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.