He he... homo phones... some kind of phones...

Canoe get a vyrus court in Anette?

hi eye queue kneaded ear

From waay back on here....

Pronouncing English

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.



Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough --
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

__________________________________
'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

buy/by
obvious ones like knight/night

I've got a student called Toe, pronounced Toy- is that related?

Hum, maybe leave sew. Butter thorp pea pull mighty sag grey.

MartinB Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> From waay back on here....
>
> Pronouncing English
>
> Dearest creature in creation,
> Study English pronunciation.
> I will teach you in my verse
> Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
> I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
> Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
> Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
> So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
>
> Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
> Dies and diet, lord and word,
> Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
> (Mind the latter, how it's written.)
> Now I surely will not plague you
> With such words as plaque and ague.
> But be careful how you speak:
> Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
> Cloven, oven, how and low,
> Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
>
> Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
> Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
> Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
> Exiles, similes, and reviles;
> Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
> Solar, mica, war and far;
> One, anemone, Balmoral,
> Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
> Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
> Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
>
> Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
> Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
> Blood and flood are not like food,
> Nor is mould like should and would.
> Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
> Toward, to forward, to reward.
> And your pronunciation's OK
> When you correctly say croquet,
> Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
> Friend and fiend, alive and live.
>
> Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
> And enamour rhyme with hammer.
> River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
> Doll and roll and some and home.
> Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
> Neither does devour with clangour.
> Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
> Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
> Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
> And then singer, ginger, linger,
> Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
> Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
>
> Query does not rhyme with very,
> Nor does fury sound like bury.
> Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
> Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
> Though the differences seem little,
> We say actual but victual.
> Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
> Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
> Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
> Dull, bull, and George ate late.
> Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
> Science, conscience, scientific.
>
>
>
> Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
> Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
> We say hallowed, but allowed,
> People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
> Mark the differences, moreover,
> Between mover, cover, clover;
> Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
> Chalice, but police and lice;
> Camel, constable, unstable,
> Principle, disciple, label.
>
> Petal, panel, and canal,
> Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
> Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
> Senator, spectator, mayor.
> Tour, but our and succour, four.
> Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
> Sea, idea, Korea, area,
> Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
> Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
> Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
>
> Compare alien with Italian,
> Dandelion and battalion.
> Sally with ally, yea, ye,
> Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
> Say aver, but ever, fever,
> Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
> Heron, granary, canary.
> Crevice and device and aerie.
>
> Face, but preface, not efface.
> Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
> Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
> Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
> Ear, but earn and wear and tear
> Do not rhyme with here but ere.
> Seven is right, but so is even,
> Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
> Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
> Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
>
> Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!
> Is a paling stout and spikey?
> Won't it make you lose your wits,
> Writing groats and saying grits?
> It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
> Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
> Islington and Isle of Wight,
> Housewife, verdict and indict.
>
> Finally, which rhymes with enough --
> Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
> Hiccough has the sound of cup.
> My advice is to give up!!!


*has seizure*

weigh two mulch!

Just as an aside, I had to try a few times to actually get to this page just now because the built-in censoring software in the Education Dept server that I'm on (instead of doing any work) took exception to the wording of the thread's subject - I presume the 'word' between "game" and "phones".

I had a similar problem a while back when I was researching the playwrite John Gay. I had to put his name in quotation marks to google him without a page alerting me to the fact that my request had been denied and that men in grey pinstripe suits and bowler hats would be making enquiries about my internet activity.

The Public Service: hilarious one day, side-splitting the next.

Another aside -

Current incarnation of Big Brother here has a character called Evil Dick. My next door neighbor at work is a huge fan of the show. (She and I do not click, by the way.)

She tells me that she has not been able to type the name Dick on any chat board anywhere without it being edited out...

<Edited to add -- I bet I just screwed up rob even more>



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/06/2007 04:57AM by OC Not.

I'll see you and raise you OC:

I do part time work for a uni and at the end of semester, students are requested to comment, using online surveys, about various aspects of subjects.

The software puts asterisks instead of swear words so when they want to comment about assignments, a fairly common topic, it appears in the readout as "***ignment".

Robert that's pretty wrong, in my view. Unless they also flagged puzzles involving straight lines.

Weirdest filter I've been aware of didn't block ass, but anglified it. This was a role- playing forum, so occasionally they'd find themselves talking about arsearseins.

Whilst investigating my family roots, I discovered that my distant ancestors, a family of goldsmiths, lived on Fleet Street at a place called "The Naked Boy". A contemporary illustration of their house shows that it was more of a gilded cherub, but it's still not something I'll be Googling without quotes and some supporting phrases.

On a more work-related bent (appropriate, since it's where I am when I do most of my posting here), a colleague kept getting his e-mails blocked whenever he tried to send out anything related to planning applications and building plans because they used the word "erection".

lol, luckily, my computer is nanny free. I can type and read REALLY rude words, if I want to!

Yay?

:P

Hmmm.... I can search for anything, but it is possible to very easily track it back to me.

__________________________________
'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

opps maybe i should have spelt it homophones

we often laugh at the officiousness of the pc world as in political correct.
I believe in elizabethian times they were PC putting cloth covers on the legs of furniture so that they didnt get excited...another meaning for hard wood.

furthermore i used to laugh at the fact they had drink waiters dumb waiters and food waiter but what do head waiters do?

A Kit Kat is a Biscuit

I think that was Victorian, rather than Elizabethan times.

Yeah, lol. The Elizabethans didn't mind people knowing they were a randy lot... I mean, look at those cod pieces!

Yeah my mistake the more things change the more they stay the same

A Kit Kat is a Biscuit