I'm not checking that one

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Blood! Death! War! Rumpy pumpy! Triumph!

Me neither

Perhaps we could contact Nigella Lawson and Maeve O'Meara and ask them for their best oiled emu recipes.

Q: Do you get flies with emu?

Assaulted for sure, or at least you used to before Rod Hull fell off the roof.

That is a hullow joke.

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'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

Now now, let's not make a hullaballoo.

Nothing wrong with a nice hullabaloo every now & then.

What colours do they come in, and are they safe for kiddies?

Can I get one that's chocolate flavored?

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Are the batteries included?

No, but they come with added emus.

And contain nuts.

So is an emu an allergen then?

I believe it's an ingredient of pentapeptides. All the celebrity beauty editors say so.

Pentapeptides frighten me. They appear to remove all traces of expression from one's face.

What are "celebrity beauty editors" anyway? Are they editors of celebrity beauty or are they the celebrities, and, if so, why haven't I heard of them? Even those of us who try our best to avoid the whole "sleb" scene have heard of most of the people who populate that netherworld and know that the Paris Hilton in all the magazines is not a hotel, despite the number of guests accommodated.

Aren't celebrity beauty editors those people who--armed with Photoshop--take an awful picture of a celebrity or supermodel and remove all the blemishes, make them look twice as thin, make the lips fuller, etc.?

Yes, and they have personalities that are so large that they fall down the cracks of the universe when the zero ground energy state undergoes a temporary 'quantum soup' effect and creates a particle/antiparticle action for an infinitesimally short moment.

Then you add in the lack of talent to be something themselves, and the frantic efforts to make their own bodies in the images of what they portray. Add in personalities that would bore a piece of basalt and you will never see a poorer more ludicrous human being on the planet.

I'll exchange an emu for that piece of basalt, I am feeling sorry for it.

Grand Prix Continental Drift....

__________________________________
'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

I'll see that emu and raise an ostrich.