Think that's bad? The COSHH regulations (Health and Safety) demand that every material used in labs has a hazard card detailing what hazards to health it poses and how to deal with spills, contamination etc.

For water it demands that if you spill some in your eye you must wash the eye with 'copious water'....



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

Yep, OSHA (Occupational Saftey and Health) is the same way here.

Here's a Label:
-----------------------
(Symbols saying to wear a labcoat and goggles)

CAUTION! May cause eye and skin irritation. May cause respitory and digestive tract irritation. For eye contact, flush with water and get medical aid. For skin contact, get medical aid if irritation occurs or persists. If ingested, get medical aid if irritation or other symptoms occur. If inhaled, get medical aid if cough or other symptoms appear.
IMPORTANT! Do no use this product until Material Saftey Data Sheet has been read and understood.
--------------------

And what dangerous substance is this label on? Sucrose, better know as table sugar.

BTW, does it say how much water should be used to ensure that you've gotten all the water out of your eye?



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"I've often said that the difference between British and American SF TV series is that the British ones have three-dimensional characters and cardboard spaceships, while the Americans do it the other way around."
--Ross Smith

Er, 'copious' water means 'lots of water'. Hence the confusion you can cause by sending a newbie for 'copious water'. It's the chemical equivalent of sending an apprentice for 'tartan paint'' or a 'long weight'...



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

I always thought it was a 'long stand' Can I have a left-handed screwdriver and a new bubble for my spirit level while you're there...

Yes, but how do you tell when you've used a sufficiently copious amount, and gotten it all out?



--------------
"I've often said that the difference between British and American SF TV series is that the British ones have three-dimensional characters and cardboard spaceships, while the Americans do it the other way around."
--Ross Smith

How the plock should I know. Presumably enough to wash out all that nasty water.....



PSD

==========

This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

*rolls eyes at idiocy of health labelling regulations*

Anyway, what exactly would anyone be doing inhaling sucrose? Unless they were Mr Tulip in "The Truth" by Terry Pratchett, who would attempt to snort anything...



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That which does not kill us makes us stranger.
(Llewelyn the dragon, Ozy and Millie)

Sarah

A friend of mine actually got caught out by being told to go to stores and ask for a long stand. Mind you, they were assembling card racks in a shop at the time, and a stand is a similar thing to a rack.

Going back to the topic - a couple of translation errors of a dubious nature from recent weeks....

[www.ananova.com]

[www.ananova.com]



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

Then there's the iron we bought yesterday which carries the following advice "Do not attempt to iron clothes whilst on body"

Because, of *course* everyone would make the mistake of clapping a heated piece of metal to their voonerables if they thought the shirt/trousers looked a bit wrinkly......



My reality check has just bounced again.......

And the packet of peanuts, supplied to one of New Scientist's contributors aboard an airplane, whose outside bore the printed message: "Warning. Product may contain Nuts".

************************************************************

"Some days I diet, other day they serve lasagne."

With the instructions

Open packet, eat nuts?



My reality check has just bounced again.......

H'mm, yes, I've just seen all those on my blog website - one of my friends posted them, and I'm still laughing!

For the benefit of Ook (who won't know), I've got the coolest username on this particular journal site:

www.blurty.com/users/thursday_next/



..........................................................................................

That which does not kill us makes us stranger.
(Llewelyn the dragon, Ozy and Millie)

Sarah

Bizarrely my work internet thingy won't let me access blurty.com, but it will let me onto livejournal.com (where mine lives) which runs exactly the same code! I did have a quick squiz through your blog last night sarah, glad you managed to survive the car journey with dave!

Yes, still here... and one day soon I'll be awake enough to read "Whatever Next" when I knock off work! (I refuse to read it when half asleep in case I miss any of the funny bits.)



..........................................................................................

That which does not kill us makes us stranger.
(Llewelyn the dragon, Ozy and Millie)

Sarah

There are weird instructions on lot of things lately. Saw a stroller (baby carriage) with the instruction 'Do not collapse with infant inside' -- pre-packaged baby, anyone?

Perhaps they do have to cover their back against possible low suits, but speak about ridiculous…



Post Edited (05-01-03 21:46)

A couple of years ago, I bought a @#$%&, polystyrene aeroplane from the Post Office. It would only fly a few feet before abruptly nose-diving, but the price was worth if for the 'Manual of Assemble' that came with it, and was preserved in my scrapbook.

1.Put the support No 2 of the main plane and tail plane No 3 on to the trunk No 1.

(All parts were labelled 1)

2: In the match condition, to insert the part of convex of support No 2 and main plane No 4 in the trunk. (?)

3: Assemble the part No 5, 6 and No 7 to be the propeller.

4: Insert the propeller in thr (sic) trunk.

5: Assemble the wheel No 9 on the shaft No 8 then put it on trunk.

6: Put the shaft No 8 on the front of trunk.

How To Play
Adjust the elevator of tail plane up and down, then the nose of airplane can be raise or take down, or somersault and revolution.
You can play it by any adjustment way.

The areoplance only lasted a day because Diesel chewed it to bits.

Try www.engrish.com for more of the same, if you haven't tried it already!



..........................................................................................

That which does not kill us makes us stranger.
(Llewelyn the dragon, Ozy and Millie)

Sarah