OK, it's been done before and I know it's corny, but I couldn't resist posting this, which was translated for my non-German-speaking father by a piece of software:

Good day!

We greet you quite heartily. There is to your Amazon.de-Bestellung News.

We could not cover as intended the below standing article unfortunately. Please still have some patience. At present, we assume it, him/it in this, to get next 3-5 weeks.

We hold her/its/their order upright. As soon as the ware arrives with us, she/it becomes immediately sent at you. With the delivery, you become from us once again per e-mail informed. We also would report, however, if a reference no more possible would be.

If the wait becomes for you too long, you also can over "think online Account" on our website cancels. Please excuse the postponement.

<snip - order details>

We like to be with queries for you there always. We thank for your Visit!

Yours truly

Amazon.de customer services



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That which does not kill us makes us stranger.
(Llewelyn the dragon, Ozy and Millie)

Sarah

Actually, I'm impressed by how well the software's done; it may look silly, but it does actually convey the sense of the e-mail without ambiguity. Which for a literal word-for-word translation retaining German word-order strikes me as a result.



- - -
I am very interested in the Universe. I am specialising in the Universe and everything surrounding it. - E. L. Wisty

"We greet you quite heartily"

I rather like that; it's more welcoming that you get from most companies. Might make a good line for an alien welcoming humans to his planet.

And much more honest, too. Note - not heartily, but merely 'quite heartily'. Now all we need is 'have a sort of nice day'...



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

I'm just glad they're holding her/its/their order upright, myself.



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That which does not kill us makes us stranger.
(Llewelyn the dragon, Ozy and Millie)

Sarah

Wouldn't want to spill it - it'd make an awful mess of the carpet, for starters.



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

*reads Ben's mind*

H'mm. "Order" is invariably associated here with the word "drink". Very interesting.

It's high time you met Wilfred!



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That which does not kill us makes us stranger.
(Llewelyn the dragon, Ozy and Millie)

Sarah

Huh? Actually I wasn't thinking about alcohol at all. Well, not conciously, anyway...



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

H'mm... I ought to try you with one of those word association tests. That might make interesting reading! ;-)



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That which does not kill us makes us stranger.
(Llewelyn the dragon, Ozy and Millie)

Sarah

I'm game.

As I'm sure Skiffle has noticed...



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

Ah, that explains the strong smell and the fact you've been hanging upsidedown for three days. You'll make a lovely stew, I'm sure.

LOL :-)

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"Some days I diet, other days they serve lasagne."

Well, I meant it as in 'in need of a jolly good plucking', but whatever turns you on...

EDIT--> *embrrased cough*



Post Edited (04-14-03 21:38)

PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

OK, hands up, who will admit to having ever olucked?



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That which does not kill us makes us stranger.
(Llewelyn the dragon, Ozy and Millie)

Sarah

Fine! Pick on the bloke who can't type...



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

lol

We all love you really, Ben. It was just too good to resist. ;-)



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That which does not kill us makes us stranger.
(Llewelyn the dragon, Ozy and Millie)

Sarah

Perhaps he's having difficulty typing because he's been run over by a crane driving a car in a dangerous manner.

Could be. Wilfred can't drive either.



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That which does not kill us makes us stranger.
(Llewelyn the dragon, Ozy and Millie)

Sarah

Good heavens - it's like being savaged by a two-headed sheep....



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

Just wait till I get my sister on the Fforum. She's even more mischievous than I am... *cackles evilly*



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That which does not kill us makes us stranger.
(Llewelyn the dragon, Ozy and Millie)

Sarah