Just been watching the Sarah Michelle Geller remake of 'The Grudge' which was, quite possibly, the biggest load of gobshite I've seen all year. The last five minutes more or less sums up the rest, really. How do you bring a scene pitting a defenceless Ms Geller against a vengeful zombie corpse to a plausible, satisfactory and suitably exciting conclusion? Simple - first, give the boyfriend a convenient cardiac arrest. Second, rifle his pockets for a weapon - in this case, a very small butane gas lighter as they've omitted to give him 9" blade-sized pockets. At this point, Ms Geller could have kicked ass with a few karate kicks, or quoted some anti-demonising spell she's memorised but we're going for plausibility here, so ... I know, we'll just insert a conveniently placed can of kerosene right in the middle of the hallway! Oh, and then after the obligatory flame-fest quickly cut to the hospital scene so we don't get a chance to ponder: 'Yeah, but from where she was she'd have been burned to a cinder anyway - and how come the boyfriend's corpse didn't get cooked?'
The end scene showed the zombie corpse reappearing, ready to throttle Ms Geller. I know how she felt, although I'd have gone for the producer myself. The only other movies I know of that used such blatant stretches of credibility were those antiquified 1930's B serials - I thought it was well and truly a thing of the past.
I mean, disregarding Dickens can you imagine stories being written in this way? Perhaps we could use the same device Jasper did with his falling piano cop-out, and introduce some alternative endings to well-known literary scenes. The trouble is, these damn authors have the plots so tightly tied up I can't think of anywhere I could do it, so maybe we can 'undo' some tragic endings. For example, Cathy was just about to peg out, when Heathcliff appeared with a Boots carrier and said ...

Fell over a cliff.
No. I don't like him.

__________________________________
'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

Sounds like Garth Marenghi's Darkplace to - at least that is meant to be bad, isn't it?

God I love Darkplace.

I'm glad someone broght that series up! Why, oh why, were there only six episodes? But that's my point exactly - Jasper's falling piano was a slapstick gag, Dark place was meant to be funny - even Dickens' books were not without wit. Apparently.
But The Grudge is worrying, because the people responsible for it actually thought to themselves, 'Hey, what a brilliant, original premise for an ending! Beat THAT for cleverness, Mr Spielberg!' Even more worrying is that people paid to see it. and even bought the rights to show it - including a major TV company. I mean, WHAT WERE THE WRITERS THINKING?
I don't think they were. I think this was a cleverly plotted plan by Scriptworld to break into OurSpace, and even now a Jurisdiction agent is frantically trying to track down the source of this rogue Walrus. Computer glitches, dodgy Charles Dickens dramatisations, dripping chunks of rotting flesh ... it's always a walrus that's responsible, trust me on this.

Bonzai Kitten Wrote:
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> God I love Darkplace.


Seconded

Sat the oldest down to watch a few ages ago and she fell about the place laughing, although I was asked if it was for real

The writers were thinking:

"How can we make some money? Ah, we will recycle some crap that is more than 5 years old, therefore beyond the attention and memory span of most producers, directors and so called stars of today, and then persuade one of them that it is original and inspiring.

If we can seel this load of garbage we can rifle more of it and have 'Prospero (renamed) meets Jennifer Aniston'.

We'kll be set for life"

Sue: You do know what I am going to have to do now?

This: I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob.

Either that or Lewis Carrol....

__________________________________
'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

The first time I saw Darkplace, my brain shut down in delight.
I couldn't even talk properly, when I was trying to alert others to run to the telly!

You are obviously aware that SBS is currently running it at present. I taped two shows but haven't got to see them yet.

9For European viewers SBS in Oz is 'Special Broadcasting Service' which was set up by the Fed Govt to show programs for cultures other than WASP.

It works extremely well and just goes to show that even Governments can't get everything wrong, even if they were trying to do something else.

It's on now? What day?

Sunday morning 1am (in Adelaide , so everywhere I suppose>)

It's just after the Saturday night movie - usually erotic or suspenseful, occasionally emotionally maudlin, then Shorts on Screen , which are often incomprhensable, occasionally sexy, and occasionally thought provoking , then Dark Place.

if ur in adelaide there's prob an hours diff to melb- Thankee very much! will def be watching from now on.

It's like Fawlty Towers - another brilliantly surreal masterpiece, but only 14 or so episodes ever made. Snot fair.

Then cheat. watch with one eye first time then with other eye second time and then with both eyes third time.

I've only seen half of the first episode and I've forgotten it, so I can watch it anew next time.

But wiv TdF on at present it will be 3 weeks of so before it resumes, and as I watch TdF before I will have time and energy enough to watch it.

BK: It will be on at the same local time in Vic as SBS have that magical device whereby they delay programs shown in SA by 30 minutes to adjust to our local time.

If the world ended we wouldn't e told until 30 minutes after it happens. Admittedly in Kanbra it would make no difference as it wouldn't register until the next election.

Why don't they just use UT/GMT and let us sort it out. Saves a lot of crap when they play silly Daylight saving time games across the country.

Daylight saving means that in summer Queensland is 30 years and 30 minutes behind the rest of OZ.

And here I was thinking it was so their curtains wouldn't fade..

When I was in QLD they told me that they couldn't have daylight savings because it would upset the cow's milking time. Obviously QLD cows are more intelligent than those in the rest of the country and can tell the time!

Is EVERYBODY on this bloody thread calling from Oz except me? I have got extensive family connections over where you are and they keep asking me to come over for a visit and I keep having to say no cos I can't afford the passport let alone the fare and I hope you lot REALISE HOW PISSED OFF I AM AT CAMPING IN PISSAPUDDLE-UNDER-LYME, DORSET THIS SUMMER instead of, I don't know, Sqwashakookaburra-under-Armpit or something.

Doubly snot fair!

"Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs..."

Jazz, I don't want to boast, but believe me I've been to both those places and P-U-L is probably the pick of the bunch, at this time of year anyway! It's not all beer and sunshine here, they always seem to miss the nasty weather on the soaps.
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