ADVICE TO NEW JURISFICTION EMPLOYEES;
Posted by: Will Barrow
Date: March 04, 2005 01:05AM
JURISFICTION: POINTS TO FOLLOW; PLEASE BE AWARE AND HEY! GO CAREFUL OUT THERE...
THE LION THE WITCH & THE WARDROBE;
New rules to follow here guys, remember that when helping the beavers make their dam that you should on NO ACCOUNT bring your own items into the book. We have had 'untrendy' computer desks shuvved in amongst the 'real wood', bracken etc. We do not require your junk! This is not a dumping ground!! Illegal dumpers will be severely punished. Remember, just because you have a jurisfiction badge, does not mean that you have the run of the library!
THE NORTHERN LIGHTS TRILOGY;
I'm sorry guys! But some of you have still been venturing into the trilogy without a deamon! YOU HAVE TO TAKE AN ANIMAL WITH YOU! This cannot be stressed enough! You know full well that you need to reveal your soul and I suggest, as you are undercover taking something characters will not challenge ie a kitten, puppy or small rodent! For God's sake! Last week we had an agent attempt to illfiltrate taking a lion with him .. and who's not going to challenge that? Be sensible people, characters willing to assist you are Plentiful, we have Bambi, Lassie, Shadow & The Hungry Caterpillar all on offer - they're here guys as part of the Jurisfiction Animal Core, ready to assist - MAKE USE OF THEIR SKILLS!
HARRY POTTER (ALL)
Ok! Here at Jurisfiction we realise that there is the trendy book to skip into.. but we have had 78 complaints from one Hermione Granger that she has been forced on several occasions to give up on her studies and retire to the TV lounge to watch Eastenders. As we are made very aware by Miss Granger, she does not 'do TV' 'only books' and you, in your fictional tourism are making her job impossible. Only last week she was so enthralled by the 'Dirty Den Murder' that she almost missed her crucial part in helping Harry & Ron figure out yet another problem, thus leading to salvstion for us all and eventual defeat of 'He Who Cannot Be Named' (And he sat in the 'Green Room' slightly pissed off that he may have had to make an early entrance, thus missing 'The Bill').
FINALLY: THE LORD OF THE FLIES:
Someone nicked Piggies glasses before they were supposed to be lost. Thus leading to all the boys banding together to find them, unison, happiness, nice cohesive unit. They were working as a team! Luckily, we have got Specsavers to make a new pair for our pudgy friend and (as is written) he has lost them later in the book, as is should be. Wewish to remind you that trophy hunting is illegal.
Thankyou for your assistance in these matters -
HEAD OF JURISFICTION..
Thursday Next x
Be Careful Out There!