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| Readers Nuggets: |
The Nextian Songbook: "Nextian Pie" This a joint effort from Jon Brierley and Ben Tymen. They would both like to point out that they were, of course, parodying the Don Maclean version, and not Madonna's. Posted: 14th Jan 2003 |
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A long, long time ago, I can still remember how those pages used to make me smile, And I know if I had a chance, To read Well of Lost Plots in advance, I'd even sell my Grandma, just to see. 'Cause waiting for it makes me shiver, When will Mr Fforde deliver? Bad news on the Fforum, We might have to wait till nearly Autumn. I'm not saying if I've tried, To get this psycho-analysed, But something's sent my mind crazy, The wait, for TN3... (Refrain) So how long, have we got till it comes? I've been down to my bookseller and he thinks I'm insane, But Thursday Next is now stuck on my brain, I'll have to read the first two again, I'll have to read the first two again. And who wrote the Shakespeare plays? Will we see more of Landen Parke-Laine? Will Mr Fforde please tell us so? Will Pickwick lay a fertile egg? Will Hades rear his awful head? And can you teach Miss Havisham to drive real slow? Well I know that she's in Spec-Ops too, But Jurisfiction gives her more to do, The prose-portal may be open, But I am still quite hopeful... That the Well of Lost Plots may be out soon, And I can sing a happy tune, But summer seems far too long, To keep us Nextians hanging on. (Refrain) * Now for six months we've been on our own Mycroft grows fat in Sherlock Holmes And the times are gone that we used to crave When Thursday played in the Cheshire Cat And lived in Swindon in a grotty flat With a dodo that came from Pete and Dave's Oh, and while Hades was being mean Thursday killed him, changed the scene The courtroom was adjourned No verdict was returned And while Bowden read a book of jokes Braxton practiced with Goliath blokes The Fforum was full of funny folk The day that Hades died We were singing {Refrain} Skyrail trouble in a summer swelter Cardenio's in a big steel shelter Entropy is low, and falling fast Thursday landed in a book The Whigs tried for a voter's hook With Landen on the sidelines of the past Now the land was full of pinkish goo And life on earth would end real soon She tried to move real fast Oh, but she couldn't change the past 'Cause when the Nexts tried to take the field The ChronoGuard refused to yield Do you recall what was revealed The day that Hades died We started singing {Refrain} Oh, and there we were all in one place All Nextians in cyberspace While Thursday had to leave, to start again So come on, Jack be nimble, Jack be slow Jack Schitt stuck in Edgar Allen Poe 'Cause fire is Miss Jane Eyre's only friend Oh, and as she watched him on the roof Thursday knew she couldn't be aloof No angel born in hell Could break Acheron's spell And as the flames climbed high into the night To light the sacrificial rite I saw Thursday laughing with delight The day that Hades died She was singing {Refrain} I met a girl who'd paid her dues And I asked her for some happy news But she just smiled and turned away I went down to the sacred store Where I'd read the books years before But the man there said there were no more books today And in the streets the mammoths screamed SpecOps tried, and Goliath schemed But not a word was spoken The Prose Portal was broken And the three things we admire most The Jasper, the Dodo and the crusty toast They caught the Skyrail for the coast The day that Hades died And they were singing {Refrain} |