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The Daily Toad: Proudly disseminating sensationalised rubbish since 1645. 28th Feb 2008.

M25 users to require parking ticket if stationary longer than two hours

The M25 and a traffic jam

A linear Carpark

More traffic on the M25

A new form of revenue for the impoverished South-East

Traffic-weary users of London's orbital motorway may have a new problem to contend with if the Highway's Agency plans to impose parking fees go ahead in June.

"Using new EU definitions, a carpark can be defined as anywhere where a car doesn't actually move'" said Mr Edgar Wilson of the Highways Agency, "so technically speaking the M25 is at times a 118 mile five-lane carpark, and in common with all motor storage facilities in the South East, it is incumbent upon us to maximise revenue from our assets."

Full details of how the scheme would work are still being finalised, but generous concessions are already being granted in that users will only have to display a parking ticket if stationary 'for two hours or longer', and there will be a special 'early bird' ticket for those stuck from before 5:00AM.

"Ticket machines will be built at forty yard intervals on what had once been the hard shoulder," explained Mr Wilson, "and we apologise in advance for any congestion this may cause."

Wendell Hatchett, reporting for The Toad.


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