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The Daily Toad: Proudly disseminating sensationalised rubbish since 1645. Issue 31,621 1st Jan 2008.

Tenth Planet Discovered

The Tenth Planet

What the Tenth Planet may look like

Astronomers at the Mount Palomar observatory in Southern California were last night celebrating over the discovery of what they believe is the tenth planet in the solar system.

"We were absolutely astonished," said Professor Labbkoat, team leader of the 'Very Small Things a Long Way Away' project, "but we were surprised that after numerous sweeps of the sky, searching for a tiny fleck of light over seven billion miles away, that the tenth planet should be discovered in a cupboard near Eastbourne."

The orange 'planetoid' is of a rough texture, and was described by the team as "about the size of a basket-ball."

The cupboard is in the spare room of Mr Greenthorpe who was astonished and delighted that a major astronomical body should be found in his house.

"We were up late watching Johnathan Ross when all of a sudden dozens of scientists were at the door, wanting access to the spare room to conduct experiments. When we found out why, we were delighted."

The almost completely spherical planet has been described by scientists as 'firm to the touch and composed of a strange long-chain polymer surprisingly similar to polyvinyl-chloride'. They calculated its orbital path as 'roughly similar' to Earth's and may have several of its own satellites, one shaped a little like a cricket bat, and another like an old sock.

The planet has been named 'Wilson' in honour of the scene-stealing character in the 2001 movie 'Castaway'.

Wendell Hatchett, reporting for The Toad.


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