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The Daily Toad: Proudly disseminating sensationalised rubbish since 1645. Issue 31,623 10th Feb 2008.

Vietnam Veterinarians upset by their depiction in latest Rambo Movie

Rambo 4

Not much of a veterinarian

Veterinarians from Vietnam last night spoke out at what they claimed was an 'insulting misrepresentation of their profession' in the latest Rambo movie, in which Mr Stallone, purporting to be a Veterinarian practitioner from the Southeast Asia state of Viet nam, takes on the Burmese military single-handedly.

"We just don't do that sort of thing," explained Phan Loi, a Hanoi vet whose speciality is mostly horses and mules, "and while here in Viet nam we work peacefully to maintain the health of the nation's animals, Mr Stallone depicts us as violent mercenaries, hell-bent on killing everyone in sight for no adequately explained reason. Okay, I may put the occasional animal to sleep, but it's always conducted humanely and never with an RPG, light machine-gun or bow and arrow."

This is not the first time that Vietnam vets have been annoyed at the character that Stallone plays in the movie. In the original film in 1982, Veterinarians from Ho Chi Minh City sent angry letters of protest to Orion Pictures in order that some sort of disclaimer be added to the film.

At no time during the four movies is it explained at which particular Veterinarian College John Rambo was meant to have trained, nor does he exhibit any skills at looking after animals. The lack of any positive feelings towards small furry woodland creatures leads experts in the field to conclude that he probably didn't go to college at all, or perhaps flunked out in the first two weeks.

"The skills you learn at Veterinarians' college are more along the lines of animal husbandry, pharmacology and surgery," added Li Anh, "Not once during my entire five year training was I taught to kill a man with my thumb or survive a fall from a helicopter."

Wendell Hatchett, reporting for The Toad.


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