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The Daily Toad: Proudly disseminating sensationalised rubbish since 1645. 6th Dec 2010.

Ann Widdecombe breaks leg on 'Strictly Come Dancing'. Tearful Du Beke forced to shoot her

The colony of limpets discuss matters of consequence

Just before the accident

Anton Du Beke was last night being comforted by relatives after he was forced to shoot his dancing partner after she broke a leg during a punishing routine on BBC's 'Strictly Come Dancing'. Ann Widdecombe, who has survived ten weeks of deselection and been variously dragged, thrown, pulled, pushed and coerced about the dance floor, was tipped as a favourite to win the popular dance contest.

'It was terrible,' said one of the producers yesterday, 'Anton had just lifted Ann during a sweaty re-enactment of the trademark scene from 'Dirty Dancing' when he simply dropped her.'

Paramedics were quickly on the scene but it was soon clear that the only humane thing to do was to shoot her live on the BBC, and Anton, who carried a pistol for this very purpose, swiftly despatched his partner.

'Obviously we were very sorry that Ann should have been eliminated in this manner,' said a remorseful Bruce Forsyth, 'but all dancers sign a waiver allowing them to be put down if injured. But didn't she well up until then?'

Reports that the BBC switchboard was jammed with callers eager to assist in the humane destroying of the much loved national icon remain, at this time, unsubstantiated.

Josh Hatchett, reporting for The Toad.

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