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The Daily Toad: Proudly disseminating sensationalised rubbish since 1645. 6th January 2014

Renault Twizy to Become
Mandatory for Boutique Hotels

The Renault Twizy, an electric quadricycle manufactured by the French automobile company is soon to be made mandatory outside all boutique hotels, it has emerged.

"It's a move we've been considering for a few months," said Mr Lush-Budget, head of the BHRB, the regulatory body that oversees how each original and unique Boutique hotel should look, "and we fully expect that every hotel will have a Twizy outside, being charged and at readiness in order to better portray the hotel as ecologically minded and up to date."

The decision has angered many Boutique hotel owners, who often have to allocate huge expenditure on pointless gimmicks to ensure their hotels are swish and up to date.

"In 2004 we had the mandated photographs of pebbles in the lobby," complained a hotelier with a beard who did not wish to be named, "and then in 2007 each guest had to have a named goldfish in their room and a stock of bottled water in funny-shaped bottles. It's expensive, unnecessary, and quite frankly we're tired of having pastel-coloured American-style bicycles parked in the lobby when no-one ever uses them."

Other hoteliers in the League of Unique and Original Boutique Hotels are apparently in agreement, and there is the possibility of a return to the 'Boutique Hotel Regulatory Body stand off' of 2013 in which Hoteliers threatened to raise the level of illumination in their lobbies from 'extremely murky' to merely 'dim' and reduce wasteful soft furnishing by a half if the BHRB insisted on the proposed 'free labrador puppy to each guest'.

Renault, however, are reportedly to be delighted, and added that: "since the Twizys are simply for show and will get minimal use, battery life is sure to be extended - and that's good for the planet."

Josh Hatchett, for The Toad
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The oh-so-cool Twizy being charged outside
a boutique hotel yesterday.
Wikimedia Commons

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Mandatory to all hotel rooms 2007
The Mirror

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Now passe

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