USA Upgrade to 'The Big Over Easy V1.1'

As is customary with early book releases, there are a few bugs that made it through the rigorous testing procedures for which Fforde books have not become legendary. The following instructions allow you to update your edition to an all new BOE/V2.1.

1: Editions covered by this upgrade: All Viking hardback and Readers club softback editions. ON NO ACCOUNT attempt to upgrade any advanced Readers copies or UK editions; a 'deep text crash' may result which will render your book unreadable and may well wipe out all the planet's fiction.

2: Earth the book by touching it lightly against a dictionary.

3: If you are running your library on the outdated SCROLL V7.3 or PAPYRUS 2.8, please upgrade immediately to BOOK 8.3 which is available by downloading HERE .

4: If you are running the Beta Version of BOOK V9 or "UltraWord™" as it is known and have Anti-GrammasitePro™ or ReadZip™ activated, please disable before upgrade. Third party hardware ancillaries such as bookmarks, pressed flowers, old bus tickets, prophylactics, etc, must also be removed.

5: Using a fine black pen make the following corrections:

i/ Turn to page 52 and where it says "tightly curled blond hair" cross out and replace with "tightly curled black hair" We have already met him in Well of Lost Plots and although vain, I didn't think he would be vain enough to have bleached his hair.

ii/ Turn to page 189 and where it says: "Do you think it will flower?" cross out and replace with "Do you think it's self-pollinating?" The beanstalk has already produced beans in pods, so it has flowered - and they could not have failed to notice.

iii/ Turn to page 249 and where it says "can you also confirm that you have the lowest investigation/conviction ratio of any department in Reading?" change round the investigation/conviction to read conviction/investigation. Trifling, I know.

iv/ Turn to page 334 and where it says "Tell Mrs Singh I'll ring her when I can. Call Baker and inform him we'll be with her -" This last 'her' is confusing; Jack means that Mary should speak to Baker and get a message to Gretal. So replace with: "Call Baker and inform him and Gretal we'll be with them -"

v/ Turn to page 343, 5th paragraph from the bottom: "Hello, Jack," Spongg said brightly. "Thing's aren't going too well for me, are they?" Delete superflous apostrophe from "Thing's".

6: Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of The Big Over Easy V1.1. To fully authenticate your copy download the upgrade sticker file by clicking HERE. Print out the download and affix it to the title page of your copy. Thank you for using the jasperfforde.com upgrade service.

Upgrade assistants: Charles Hodgson, Katherine Lee