It's before the weekend, I am bored and I have no other plans yet...ok, I'll answer.
1. Have you ever intentionally hurt anyone?
That's what I told the committee.*
2. Do you like asparagus?
As a German, I am obliged to between April and June.
3. Do you have a middle name?
No.
4. How did you choose your Fforum name?
It did seem like a good idea at the time.
5. Your life, on- or off-topic?
Off.
6. Was there a time when you were mystified by the workings of your genitalia?
Thats's part of growing up, isn't it?
7. Do you look up to your mother or your father?
That's impossible, they are both much shorter than me.
8. Was your first date older or younger than you?
You know, I really can't remember. She was in my class, and since I was neither the youngest nor the oldest, it could have been both ways.
9. What do you first look look at in a partner?
A relaxed attitude.
10. X-Factor or Newsnight? (for our overseas friends Pop "talent" show or news stories in a bit more depth)
Parlamentary proceedings.
11. Did you go away on a school trip?
Not for twenty-eight years.
12. Do you like roller coasters?
No.
13. Favourite book not by Jasper?
Vineland by Thomas Pynchon
14. Favourite secret pleasure book?
If I told you, it wouldn't be secret.
15. Favourite actor or actress?
Among the dead: Rita Hayworth and Ulrich Mühe. Among the living: Corinna Harfouch and Axel Prahl.
16. Have you ever been caught in a natural disaster?
Nothing serious. A 3.1 Richter scale earthquake and a thunderstorm that failed to harm me because I could quickly get inside.
17. Did you ever own a pair of shorts?
Yes.
18. What was your favorite expression growing up?
Whistling.
19. Who is the person who has most influenced you?
Jim Knopf
20. Do you think that you are always right?
Yes.
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* There's a story to this. Back in my younger days there was still the cold war soaring, and Germany had a military conscription which could only be avoided by declaring yourself as a Conscientious Objector. Centerpiece was writing a lenghty essay addressed to a military comission, and that would prove you were not a communist, but simply a wimp that could see no blood.
My central argument was describing my reaction to having once shoved a classmate into a locker. I wrote that I felt an overwhelming revulsion at my own actions, and that was why I never wanted to use violence again in my life.
This got me a certificate exempting me from World War III. Bad luck that it only covered the wearing a uniform part, not the dying part. Better luck (for me) that WWIII was postponed in favour of smaller warfares in faraway countries.