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|Some Notable Nexts:|
|Last updated: June 12th 1988|
|The Next Family tree
(Descended from the DeLaste family of Northern Wiltshire|
and the When family from Norfolk)
Professor Balthazar Ganderpoke Next (1885-1938) Professor Next was (amongst many other things) professor of antiquities at the British museum and undertook numerous searches across the globe in pursuit of goodies to place in the Museum. Served with distinction in the First World War, raced at Brooklands and was briefly an MP before vanishing in 1938 while on an expedition to discover Ghenghis Khan's tomb. The only trace of him ever to emerge was his distinctive bamboo-handled umbrella, found in a bazaar in Northern Iraq in 1947.
Tuesday Sayé Next (neé When) (1888-1968) Heiress to the When family mechanical egg-whisk business, Tuesday was already famous in aviation circles when she married Balthazar in 1902. Suffragette, socialite and raconteur, Tuesday spent many years searching for her husband when he vanished in 1938 (see above). She died in Kabul in 1968. Holds world record for sustained inverted flight and cooking the world's biggest Paella.
Mycroft DeLaste Next (1908-) Extraordinary inventor, mathematician, physicist and latterly, writer of romantic novels. Estimated IQ of 270, Mycroft developed over two hundred devices but only published eight patents. Pioneer of Game Theory, Helium-magnesium alloys, Genetic engineering, Biomechanical Analog computing, LCD paint, memory erasers, retinal screen-savers and much more. Studied at Oxford and Cambridge before leaving prior to graduation citing 'waste of my time'. Quirky character who rarely gave interviews, Mycroft once boasted: 'I have buried more hot dinners than you've had inventions'. Kidnapped on a regular basis in the sixties by foreign powers eager to steal his inventions, he eventually based himself in Swindon. Retired in 1985 but returned to active status in 1988, his work on 'Nextahedroids' to generate limitless energy has been adopted by the National Energy Agency. His company, Mycrotech, is currently being run by his two idiot sons, Wilbur and Orville. Current project: Tachyon modem streaming (to enable you to receive faxes before you'd sent them) and High Street memory erasers.
Publications: The Kitchen Genesplicer (The home Genetic restructuring handbook),Theoretical Nextian Geometry (with Polly Next), Biotechnonics, Binarytrimonicfibulation for beginners, Bringing back the dodo - how I did it, Refuting Thermodynamics - a new world order, Love among the Orphans, At long last love, etc.
Pollyanna (Polly) Next (neé Flaubert) (1920?-) According to urban legend, discovered by Mycroft Next when he inadvertently entered a parallel world when trying to find out where all the hammers go. No trace of 'Pollyanna Flaubert' can be found in the Public Records Office. Mathematician in her own right, her 'Nextian Geometry' work set the scene for the nanotechnological revolution. Devoted wife and mother of two children, Polly assisted Mycroft after her husband's first assistant Owens was killed in a meringue accident.
A quart in a pint pot - the applications of Nextian Geometry, Mycroft Next - living with genius. Tuning the supercharger, Gas Turbines - a new approach to engine development (unfinished)
Unnamed son (?) (Disputed existence) (?-?) One of the biggest mysteries surrounding Thursday Next is who her father was. Her mother Wednesday married somebody who gave her the name Next but where and when we have no idea. Balthazar Ganderpoke Next Spoke once of 'having two sons' but then, in another interview, mentions he has only one. There have been two or three sightings of a man 'aged between twenty-six to seventy' who called himself 'Colonel Next' but other than that, we await new information.
April Overton Next (1917-) Only marginally less intelligent than her brother Mycroft, April emigrated to Australia after a prison term for collaboration in 1949. Pioneered work on supercooled magnetic repulsive systems and ceramic containment. April Next, despite her dodgy war record, almost single-handedly enabled the Gravitube to come into existence. A restless and disturbed character, she speaks very little with the family. Married five times with one son. Husbands: (1) Wendell Gleep (1932) (2) Kavorkian Dibble (1934) (Son; Timothy, 1936.) (3) Abel Flaxwood (1941) (4) Col. Gerhardt Von Squid (1946) (5) Walston Rushworth (1951; divorced 1956)
Wednesday Beefort Next (Neé Hoarsposture) (1920-) Mother of Thursday Next. Born in Swindon, she lives there still. Three children and housekeeper to Mycroft and Polly for over thirty years, active in Women's federation and fundraiser for ChronoGuard orphans. Notoriously cagey about interviews, she has always maintained a stony silence on the subject of her daughter's whereabouts. Evidence has linked her name with SO-3 operations, but no other information forthcoming.
Orville Hooke Next (1944 - ) Youngest son of Mycroft and Polly Next. According to Mycroft: 'If it rained brains Orville wouldn't get wet'. Assistant general manager of SmileyBurger (Swindon), Orville married Charlotte McTavish in 1968. His wife agrees with him on most points. They have one son, Mycroft Balthazar, born in 1971. Orville currently runs MycroTech Developments with his brother, Wilbur.
Wilbur Newton Next (1940 - ) Eldest son of Mycroft and Polly Next. According to Mycroft: 'If he had an intelligent thought it would die a very lonely death' After a career in personnel management he became supervising head of R&D at MycroTech Developments, the nanotechnology arm of Consolidated Useful Stuff, Inc. When the Nanodivision was disbanded in October 1985 (reason unknown) he successfully steered Mycrotech to world dominance in the technology business. Formed 'Mem-U-Gone' the high street chain of Memory erasure centres in January 1986 until accidentally wiping seven months from the collective memory of the townsfolk of Hinton Parva in November 1986. Married in 1960 to The Hon. V. Expensive Gloria Stuyvesant Volescamper (daughter of Lord Volescamper's brother Archibald) They have two children: Samuel (b. 1961) and Louise (b. 1962)
Anton DeLaste Next (1947-1973) Thursday's brother. Professional soldier. Attached to the 3rd Wessex Tank Light Armoured Brigade as signals captain; killed at infamous 'Charge of the light armoured brigade' in the Crimea, 1973. Blamed for disaster after inquiry.
The Very Irrev. Jeffrey Rafter Next GSD (1948 - ) Thursday's other brother, commonly known as 'Joffy'. Entered clergy at the age of 18 after studying theology at Pangbourne. Started up the first Global Standard Deity Church (or GSD) in Wanborough in 1983. Currently head of the GSD Church which aims to bring together all the faiths under one single all-encompassing roof. He also finds time to lead the breakaway church groups: 'The standardised pro-baptist Lutheran sisters of something-or-other', 'The Idolatry friends of St Zvlkx the mumbler', and the 'Church of the misrepresented promise of eternal life.' GSD Marriage in 1988 to M. Hawke.
Thursday E. Next (1950 - ) Sister of Anton and Joffy, daughter of Wednesday. SpecOps agent. For complete chronology, clickHERE
Landen Parke Laine (1942-) Husband of Thursday, since October 1985
thursdaynext.com is sanctioned by SpecOps mandate 3819/bd32. Copyright 2002
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