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The Daily Toad: Proudly disseminating sensationalised rubbish since 1645. Issue 31,367 3rd Jan 2006.


The Epson Corporation yesterday unveiled its new agricultural product lines which it hoped would bring digital technology to farmers everywhere. Noting that sheep marking hasn't changed in several centuries, Epson technicians yesterday unveiled the result of six years of research and a reported sixteen million dollars - the revolutionary 'Ac-ewe-Laser 2000'.

The patented 'wool-compliant' print head supports forty fonts and six colours - the clarity of the printing is so good that up to seven hundred words of text can to be printed on the average fleece, thus opening the door to the use of sheep as walking advertising hoardings, a move that will surely assist in the farmer's profit and loss sheet.

The Ac-ewe-laser's fully automatic sheep feeder (optional) can hold up to sixty ewes and lambs at each filling, and a 'sheep low' buzzer will warn when down to the last ewe. An integrated dipper and castrator will be available from March. Retail price will be 69.99 with the ink cartridges 580 each (six required).

Josh Hatchett, reporting for The Toad, London
Two sheep printed on the new Acewelaser

Lottie and Nigel demonstrate the clarity of the Epson's new Ac-ewe-laser 2000.


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