New users: Please register in the usual way and then send an email to jasper(at)jasperfforde.com with your username, and write something 'Ffordesque' so we know you are a real reader, and not some idiot trying to flood the forum with dodgy Nike and Gucci gear. Thank you - Jasper
<HTML>This won't work too well on Netscape browsers, but nevermind....
<marquee>...Simon says... touch your nose......Simon says... stick out your tongue......Simon says... roll your eyes......touch your toes......Simon says...make a funny noise......Simon says...smile......Simon says...blink......Simon says...wink at the attractive girl who sits opposite you............Simon says...hope that she doesn't report you for harrassment......tap your feet.........Simon says...do an impression of your boss. As a grapefruit.......Simon says...visit the fforum......Simon says...I enjoy the power......Simon says...I want one million dollars - put it in my account now.......make a sucking noise like a mechanic does before he charges you a lot of money......switch your computer off......Simon says...I hope you didn't fall for that one - but then you wouldn't be bale to see if......Simon says...make a noise like an ape with a kumquat......Simon says...burp......spin on your chair......Simon says...forget everything your mother said - strange men can be kind of exciting......Simon says...kick an elephant......Simon says...slurp your coffee and really piss off everyone else in the office......Simon says...wouldn't it be fun to go into the quiet carriage and sing out of tune to your walkman......Simon says...that's enough of that...</marquee>
<HTML>...yes, he's at Reading University apparently... pardon? He gets how much? ... and that comes out of public money, does it? .... Well, I'd like it stopped .... yes, immediately and with extreme prejudice ... there is a dole office in Evesham isn't there? ....</HTML>
<HTML>If I were to bend over and touch my toes I'd get a really supercilious look from Minsky. And an expression of extreme puzzlement from his dopey brother Chomsky. (Sorry, Noam - if I had had a clue how that cat was going to turn out, I'd have had very major second thoughts!)</HTML>
Actually, if you want to talk about _that_ sort of gnome, I've got a friend who I'm trying to persuade to become a Ffordian, and he'll be just right for this Fforum. He is writing a series of stories about Bung the Gnome Detective. (To avoid any possible misunderstandings, Bung is the character's name. Just so that's clear.)</HTML>
<HTML>me, i had my writing phase at Uni, had a couple of stories published in the British Council Magazine, then started writing for a living (advertising) and didnt want to do it at home.</HTML>